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Clips from Family Guy - The New Adventures of Old Tom (S14E14)

"♪ It seems today that all you see ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ On which we used to rely? ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ All the things that make us ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Laugh and cry ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Family Guy 14x18 ♪ The New Adventures of Old Tom Original Air Date on May 8, 2016"
Family Guy
"ANNOUNCER: We now return to The Price is Right,"
Family Guy
"now with male models."
Family Guy
"Let's look at this beautiful new car, presented by Ken."
Family Guy
"♪ ♪"
Family Guy
"I don't want it."
Family Guy
"Peter, what the hell happened to my underwear?"
Family Guy
"They're all stretched out."
Family Guy
"Oh, sorry about that."
Family Guy
"Me and the guys were using them"
Family Guy
"to shoot crab apples at Old Man McCratchen's truck."
Family Guy
"We don't want raisins on Halloween,"
Family Guy
"we want candy!"
Family Guy
"Hey, Quagmire, aren't you gonna get in on this?"
Family Guy
"I, uh, kind of got my own game going on over here."
Family Guy
"All right, I'm off to get more underwear."
Family Guy
"We'll meet back here at 2:00."
Family Guy
"Chris, do you remember your job?"
Family Guy
"To try and get my shoes sucked into the escalator"
Family Guy
"so we can sue the mall."
Family Guy
"That's right, sweetie."
Family Guy
"I heard they're paying 50 grand a toe now."
Family Guy
"(train whistle blows)"
Family Guy
"Ah, the train."
Family Guy
"Now that was the way to travel."
Family Guy
"You remember that, Chris?"
Family Guy
"Not at all."
Family Guy
"When did we go and get ourselves"
Family Guy
"in such a big damn hurry?"
Family Guy
"Hi, uh, I'll take two tickets for the Ladybug Express, please."
Family Guy
"Sorry, the train is just for children."
Family Guy
"Well, what about that guy in the front?"
Family Guy
"He's a grown-up."
Family Guy
"He's the conductor."
Family Guy
"I don't see no orchestra."
Family Guy
"That's a different kind of conductor."
Family Guy
"Okay, well, if he's the conductor,"
Family Guy
"why don't he have electrical tape"
Family Guy
"wrapped around him for safety?"
Family Guy
"Also, a different kind of conductor."
Family Guy
"All right, thanks for joking around with me."
Family Guy
"We're gonna go check out the rest of the mall."
Family Guy
"So, I'm thinking about getting"
Family Guy
"my ears pierced, you know, big black gauges."
Family Guy
"Then, I can just work at a bike shop forever."
Family Guy
"Take the pressure off."
Family Guy
"That's a terrible idea."
Family Guy
"'Cause my lobes are so nice,"
Family Guy
"I know, that's what everybody says."
Family Guy
"Wow, check it out."
Family Guy
"Biracial slam piece, dead ahead."
Family Guy
"What's going on with you, man?"
Family Guy
"That's a human being."
Family Guy
"Sorry, sorry,"
Family Guy
"my buddy sent me a bunch of Romanian porn,"
Family Guy
"and now every girl I look at I imagine"
Family Guy
"throwing onto a table."
Family Guy
"Yeah, that wasn't really the backpedal I expected."
Family Guy
"Excuse me, uh, Shelby?"
Family Guy
"Hi, I'm Brian."
Family Guy
"Hey, I bet lots of millionaires"
Family Guy
"come in here and hit on you all the time, huh?"
Family Guy
"(chuckles) Do we?"
Family Guy
"Do we-do we do that a lot?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, I guess it happens sometimes."
Family Guy
"Did you want to look at something?"
Family Guy
"Already am."
Family Guy
"Hey, can I try that on?"
Family Guy
"Good taste."
Family Guy
"That's our nicest men's ring."
Family Guy
"Uh, better see if it'll come off when I ski Aspen."
Family Guy
"Yeah, yeah, that works, that works."
Family Guy
"I know I'm a nerd, but I have, like,"
Family Guy
"a thing for rich guys."
Family Guy
"I'll take the ring,"
Family Guy
"and I'll take your number."
Family Guy
"Here you go."
Family Guy
"Call me."
Family Guy
"What the hell are you doing?"
Family Guy
"That ring is $10,000."
Family Guy
"Relax, Stewie."
Family Guy
"All I have to do is bring the ring back"
Family Guy
"when she's not working."
Family Guy
"I'll get a refund and she'll never know."
Family Guy
"It's a perfect scam, like Teddy Roosevelt"
Family Guy
"getting to be on Mount Rushmore."
Family Guy
"I won the Revolutionary War."
Family Guy
"I won the Civil War."
Family Guy
"I gained possession of Guam!"
Family Guy
"(dramatic action music playing on video game)"
Family Guy
"There you are."
Family Guy
"We were supposed to meet an hour ago."
Family Guy
"Yeah, I'm almost done."
Family Guy
"I'm playing a really cool new video game."
Family Guy
"Michael Douglas's Munch Out."
Family Guy
"Nah..."
Family Guy
"Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom."
Family Guy
"Come on, Peter."
Family Guy
"It's time to go home."
Family Guy
"Not now, Lois."
Family Guy
"I'm making ladies feel good."
Family Guy
"Peter, I've been on my feet all day."
Family Guy
"Let's go."
Family Guy
"I'd stop, but Catherine Zeta Jones' big hands"
Family Guy
"are on the back of my head."
Family Guy
"You know what? Forget this."
Family Guy
"We're leaving."
Family Guy
"You find your own way home."
Family Guy
"(video game beeps)"
Family Guy
"What? Throat cancer?"
Family Guy
"But all I did was drink Scotch, smoke cigars, and this."
Family Guy
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