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Clips from Three's Company - Ground Rules (S02E02)

"Well, isn't that a special reason? Naturally."
Three's Company
"Then can I switch nights with you?"
Three's Company
"You're in luck. Humphrey Bogart isn't talking tonight."
Three's Company
"What? The sound is out again."
Three's Company
"Oh. Look, I'll go catch a movie,"
Three's Company
"and you can have the apartment all to yourself. Oh, thank you."
Three's Company
"And listen, you can come back whenever you like."
Three's Company
"Gee, Chrissy, I hope you don't have that same problem I had last week with Bob."
Three's Company
"What problem? Well, he kept looking for a parking place for his hands."
Three's Company
"[ Sighs ] Why can't a guy realize..."
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"that when a girl says no, she really means no? Right."
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"[ Chuckles ] Except when she means maybe."
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"Do you want these on your tab too? Yes, please."
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"I don't have any cash on me, or anywhere else for that matter."
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"How long we gonna stay here? Don't you like this place? The Regal Beagle."
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"You know, it's a great place. Just like home, you can really relax here."
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"Why don't we go to your place and have a drink?"
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"Uh, well, uh... Oh, this is so embarrassing."
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"Uh, if you must know, it's not my night."
Three's Company
"Well, how do you know if you haven't even tried?"
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"See, what I meant... I wasn't talk..."
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"No, okay. See, uh."
Three's Company
"My place is taken. Yeah. My sister is entertaining her fiancé."
Three's Company
"Oh, that's too bad. Yeah, we don't think much of him either."
Three's Company
"But we can have gobs of fun here. How?"
Three's Company
"How? How? How."
Three's Company
"Uh, well, I can show you my do-it-yourself toy. Huh?"
Three's Company
"Yeah, it's sensational. Here it comes."
Three's Company
"All right now. You just wind the thumb."
Three's Company
"What? Just wind up the thumb,"
Three's Company
"and don't stop until I tell you to."
Three's Company
"It'll kill you. Okay, faster. Faster, faster."
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"Okay, let go. [ Whooping ]"
Three's Company
"[ Imitating Gunshots ]"
Three's Company
"It went after the sandwich, and I had to shoot it."
Three's Company
"Jack, my boy. Hi, Mr. Roper. Two glasses of white wine, please."
Three's Company
"Oh, thanks, Jack. No, the second one's for a friend."
Three's Company
"Oh, which one is it? The guy with the leather jacket and the matching purse?"
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"No, he's not my type."
Three's Company
"Be back in a minute, honey. Okay."
Three's Company
"Who's that? Oh, it's a friend."
Three's Company
"Uh-huh? Oh, we're just pals. It's like you going out with the guys."
Three's Company
"You two go bowling? Something like that."
Three's Company
"Does she know that you're, uh..."
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"She knows exactly what I am, thank you."
Three's Company
"You know, you're lucky, Jack."
Three's Company
"You can be pals with women. Hmm?"
Three's Company
"I mean, you don't have the same problems that a regular man has."
Three's Company
"Like what? Well, you'll never have a wife nagging you."
Three's Company
"Not that I have anything against marriage, but, uh,"
Three's Company
"wives can be very demanding."
Three's Company
"You know, they're always asking you to-to..."
Three's Company
"To do things."
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"What kind of things? You know, like things."
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"Like, uh, things."
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"Like? Like, uh, uh..."
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"Like putting up a shelf? That's it. Putting up shelves."
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"And they're never satisfied. I mean, it's not as though I never put up a shelf."
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"But, I mean, maybe I don't put up as many shelves as some husbands,"
Three's Company
"but..."
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"But then, I put up shelves."
Three's Company
"I'm sure you do."
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"If Helen had her way,"
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"I'd be putting up a shelf every night."
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"What I don't understand is... I'm back. Oh."
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"Ever since she's given up smoking, she doesn't know what to do with her hands."
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"Oh, the poor kid. Yeah. Well, nice seeing you, Mr. Roper."
Three's Company
"Oh, Jack. I promise to get to the toilet as soon as possible. Huh?"
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"Thank you. I-I..."
Three's Company
"I went up to fix it tonight, but there was nobody home."
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"And I don't like to barge in on people when"
Three's Company
"I don't like to barge in on people... Before that."
Three's Company
"I'll try to get to the toilet... After that."
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"Nobody was home. That's it!"
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"Nice, bumping into you, Mr. Roper. What?"
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"Nobody's home, you know what that means? I think so."
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"Maybe we can put up a shelf. Huh?"
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"Hello? Anybody home?"
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"Come on in. [ Giggling ]"
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"Alone at last. Yeah."
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"Can I get you something? A glass of white wine would be nice."
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"You got it. Wait a minute."
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"Oh, it's just as well. If I had another drink, I might do something very foolish."
Three's Company
"I'll have better luck in the kitchen."
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"Well, while you're doing that, maybe I'll just freshen up a little."
Three's Company
"Yeah, you do that. Right in there. And then I'll meet you right back here."
Three's Company
"Ciao. Ciao."
Three's Company
"[ Giggling ] I had a wonderful time."
Three's Company
"No, you can't come in. It's very late."
Three's Company
"But thank you for a lovely evening though."
Three's Company
"Surprise! [ Screams ]"
Three's Company
"- This isn't what you're seeing! - Your own sister?"
Three's Company
"No, wait. See, I can explain."
Three's Company
"I've seen some pretty kinky things, but with your own sister?"
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"And who's this one, another sister?"
Three's Company
"Oh, right. Our friends call us Donny and Marie."
Three's Company
"Wait, wait, wait. Let me just explain something. You sickie!"
Three's Company
"Wait, Veronica, calm down. You come near me and I will scream!"
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"I am not a sickie! I'm just a liar!"
Three's Company
"What are you doing here anyway?"
Three's Company
"You broke your own ground rule. I heard the apartment was empty."
Three's Company
"You were the one who said there was no exceptions. No, but Mr. R..."
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"Look, let's make a new rule, all right? Okay."
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"From now on, anybody who's in the apartment when it's not their night..."
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"One, two, three. Hey, wait a minute..."
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"It's unanimous. No."
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"[ Gargling ]"
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"Stanley, is that you?"
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"You've been doing the books all this time?"
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"No, I took a little walk."
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"And I stopped by the Regal Beagle,"
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"and I got to thinking that..."
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"You've had too much to drink."
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"I had just enough."
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"Helen, now that you're awake,"
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"I can tell you I have no more little jobs to do."
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"Correction:"
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"I have one more little job to do."
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"Do you mean it?"
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"A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."
Three's Company
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