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Clips from Three's Company - Ground Rules (S02E02)

"Jack, I have got to talk to you."
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"Chrissy, can you maybe, uh, see..."
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"Oh, am I interrupting something? I hope so."
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"Oh. Sorry."
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"We can talk about it later when we get home, okay? Home?"
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"Oh. Oh! Uh, Chrissy, this is Veronica."
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"Oh, of course. I should have noticed the resemblance."
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"Oh, look, if you two have something to discuss, I can..."
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"Oh, no, no. They can wait, can't they, Chrissy, sister."
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"Oh, of course. Yeah. I can wait all night."
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"Patience, it's a family trait."
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"Oh, look. I have to go. Listen. Why don't you give me a phone call, okay?"
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"Or if you agree to go out with me tomorrow, you can save me a dime."
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"But I'm free Sunday. Oh, great. I'll call you tomorrow."
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"I'll be waiting. Bye."
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"Bye. Bye."
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"Mm, mm, mm."
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"Very pretty. Thank you."
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"Why? You had nothing to do with it."
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"What's on your little, tiny mind, Chrissy?"
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"Well, Janet just kicked me out of the house,"
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"and I don't think she has any right to do that."
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"- Why? You did it to both of us last night. - Two wrongs don't make a right."
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"Let's go home. Janet won't like that."
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"I don't care. This has been happening too often."
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"You girls come home with a boyfriend and you tell me to get lost."
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"How'd you like it if I kept coming home with"
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"a boyfriend and told you two to get lost?"
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"That's tellin' her."
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"You people got rights too."
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"Janet, I mean, about last night, I'm really..."
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"- Good morning. - She doesn't wanna talk about it."
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"Oh, you're still upset about last night, huh? Me? Upset?"
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"right in the middle of a very personal argument between Alex and me?"
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"which is where we were having that very personal argument."
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"Me? I'm not upset at all."
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"I'd be upset."
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"Look, I've been thinking. You know what's causing our problem?"
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"An interfering jackass of a roommate?"
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"That's no way to talk about Chrissy."
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"- She meant you. - Look, look. What we need around here is a system."
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"We gotta lay down some ground rules so that"
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"- Oh, that's a good idea. - Thank you."
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"You know what we can do? We can divide the night into shifts, you know?"
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"Like 7:00 to 9:00, 9:00 to 11:00, and 11:00 to 1:00."
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"And suppose I like to spend four hours with a guy."
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"What should I do, spread him over two nights?"
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"That's a good point. Hold it, hold it."
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"I happen to have a simple but brilliant plan, all right?"
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"Anybody who wants the place to themselves..."
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"has to give the other two 24-hour's notice."
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"See? 24 hours, and you got the place to yourself."
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"Well, I like that. I do too."
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"Yeah, but I know how you girls are."
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"So remember, no exceptions, no changes."
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"Okay, no changes."
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"Those are the rules, agreed? Agreed. Agreed."
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"Well, I'm glad that's settled."
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"I reserve tomorrow night. I get Monday."
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"Sheryl said she might come over on Tuesday. Jerry asked me out Wednesday."
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"I've got a date with the Lowell twins Thursday and Friday. Stop it!"
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"I would like to squeeze in there somewhere between now and Christmas."
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"Tonight's still free. Take tonight."
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"Oh, okay. I'll take tonight. Yeah, yeah."
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"There's a great Humphrey Bogart movie on the tube I've been dying to see."
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"[ Phone Ringing ] I'll get it."
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"A movie on the tube, huh? Yeah."
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"I've got an idea. How about I call up Alex and ask him to give you another chance?"
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"Of all the stupid ideas. Hey, is that any way to talk to your brother?"
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"Jack, it's for you."
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"Yuck!"
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"Who is it? She said to tell you..."
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"it's someone who'd rather not be a mule."
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"Hello, Veronica? Hi."
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"Excuse me, Veronica."
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"Chrissy. Why do you want her to be a mule?"
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"I don't. But why did she say..."
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"Chrissy, it was a joke."
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"Oh. I don't get it."
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"Hello, Veronica. Hi. How did you get my number?"
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"Oh, the bartender. Hey, listen."
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"I got tomorrow night all planned. You'll come over to my place and I'll cook up a..."
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"Huh? I thought you said you had a family get-together..."
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"Oh, switched, huh?"
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"Tonight. Oh, wow. Tonight would be..."
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"Oh, uh, tonight. Uh, well, see,"
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"tonight I-I don't have..."
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"No. You see, Janet... J-J... I mean, gee, uh..."
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"I can't... Sure, I wanna see you, but..."
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"Swing on a star?"
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"Listen, we got a date."
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"No, no, no. No problem at all."
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"Why do I lie like that?"
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"Janet? Mm-hmm."
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"I'm really sorry about last night."
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"For instance, if you ever wanted to, uh, trade nights with me,"
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"if it meant a lot to you, it would be okay with me."
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"I mean, you know, like if you're not happy with tonight."
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"Oh, tonight's great. I love Humphrey Bogart."
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"No, what I meant was maybe you'd like tomorrow night. Why?"
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"Uh, well, you see, uh,"
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"I made this date for tomorrow night, but it got switched to tonight."
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"And knowing what a warm, generous, bighearted person you are..."
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"Why, of all the nerve."
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"After you insisted on no changes, you come in here and ask me to change!"
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"Just this once. Jack, those rules have only been in effect for two minutes."
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"Please? You're not being fair. No!"
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"I can't, it's not my night."
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"Hi, Janet. Where's Jack? Hi."
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"You mean "hot-to-trot Tripper"?"
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"He already left. Hey, are you still mad at him?"
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"Well,"
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"he's got a lot of nerve, I'll say that for him."
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"I mean, first he makes up the rules, and then he wants to change them."
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"- Isn't that just like a man? - Yeah, a woman would never do anything like that, would she?"
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"Well, of course not. Unless there was a very special reason."
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"Like what? Like Eddie maybe?"
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"You know, Eddie from the office. Yeah?"
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"And, naturally, he'll want to see me home."
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"Naturally, you'll want to have him in for coffee."
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