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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Table Polarization (S07E07)

"I'm thinking about growing a goatee."
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"Oh, actually that's a Van Dyke."
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"Ha-ha, very funny. Make fun of the foreign guy."
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"Say what? Moo-stache."
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"Guys, you're being childish."
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"of growing your own moo-staches."
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"How about instead of assuming I failed, you ask me how it went?"
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"Sorry. How did it go?"
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"Just shut up."
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"and suddenly we're all running to IKEA."
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"We're not getting a dining room table."
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"but it's not a terrible idea."
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"Hey, how come we never get that option?"
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"if the equations describing its behavior are nonlinear,"
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"Waah. I don't want a table!"
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"♪ Bang! ♪"
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"Hey, Penny and I are gonna go shop for a dining room table."
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"You want to come with us?"
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"Think of me as Arthur Dent"
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"Leonard-- I don't even know why you're talking about it."
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"Check your in-box."
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"for years with nary an argument."
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"But we start talking about a table,"
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"Well, I don't know if I won that,"
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"Magic wand TV remote!"
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"Oh, uh, let me try."
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"I have to take this."
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"Uh..."
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"off."
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"You're not gonna believe this."
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"What's going on?"
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"That was NASA."
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"Wow. What did you tell them?"
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"A second trip to space-- I'll miss you."
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"I just want you to know, I'm happy"
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"I'm just kidding."
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"there's nothing I can do about it."
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"I wanted Frodo, but we can't both have Frodo,"
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"See? Right there. You're a grown man,"
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"you should be able to pick whichever hobbit you want."
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"Y-You make a lot of sense."
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"I like this table, and I'm getting it."
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"Someone in this room gets to take a ride on a rocket."
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"got damaged,"
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"and they want me to go back up and fix it."
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"Well, what did you say?"
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"Well, it's just, after last time,"
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"Hey, all set. What do you think?"
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"space battles through it."
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"Well, you can't say he didn't give it a fair shot."
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"What about the roommate agreement?"
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"it sits over there."
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"should meet more often."
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"and not letting him run my life?"
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"Okay. I think we've found the problem here."
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"I have spent years"
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"turning this lump of clay into an acceptable conduit"
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"for my will,"
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"with your newfangled ideas and your fancy genitals."
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"but Amy has had a huge impact on you."
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"Without realizing it, I've allowed that woman"
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"Mm, Sheldon, you didn't have a personality;"
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"No, I've changed."
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"Or you're just a tall, annoying frog."
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"Amy, it's Penny. Hey."
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"Just a little heads-up."
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"Yeah. Sheldon's breaking up with you."
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"just sign this"
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"please don't cry on my iPad--"
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"Wait-wait, now, hang on."
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"You think he manipulates me?"
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"and let him bring a table into your apartment."
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"'cause I won't be your girlfriend anymore."
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"Why, yes, I would like to take a survey."
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"Wait."
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"I think if I were manipulating you,"
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"How do I know you're not saying that"
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"as part of the manipulation?"
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"Okay."
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"Not at all."
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"You're right, it's great."
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"No. Sorry to disappoint you,"
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"Which I also figured out by myself."
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"Well, I'm glad you're still together."
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"trying to change my environment,"
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"The-the spot that you love to sit in,"
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"I don't need to explain myself to you!"
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"You're sick of his nonsense and ready to move in with me."
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"Keep the table! We don't use that space!"
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"Hey, Bernie. I'm home... Hello."
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"What's going on?"
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"Um... okay. First off,"
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"know that we all love you and cherish you."
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"Can I say something? Oh, of course."
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"Sure."
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"You did a fine job."
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"we're all trying to say is, you don't seem"
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"You peed in your space suit."
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"Not during the fitting."
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"You wanted me to shoot you in the foot."
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"That was funny."
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"You've got to get me out of this!"
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"I can get it higher; just give me a second."
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"For all you know, I could have slipped in the tub and drowned!"
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"Oh, me, too. I mean, the doctor was willing"
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"I don't think so. Now, pass the soy sauce."
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"Sheldon, Amy, will you please come join us?"
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"Yeah, it's fun up here."
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"I like eating down here"
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"because this is how we've always done things."
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"But if those days are gone, they're gone."
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"It just... makes me sad."
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"Well, it's not silly if you think of that group"
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"as being led by a big, evil baby."
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"You said that I should stand up to him."
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"Screw that! I sat on the floor for seven years."
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"A goatee is just hair on the chin."
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"Oh. Wait, then what is it if you just have hair up here?"
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"You mean a moustache?"
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"For your information, there are four times as many"
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