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Clips from The Simpsons - Treehouse of Horror XIII (S14E14)

"Well, I do miss the missus."
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"Maude Flanders, we the living beseech you to appear."
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"Are you ready for tales that will shatter your spine and boil your blood?"
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"- My favorite is number three. - Oh, I'd love to."
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"Hammocks. Get your hammocks."
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"The hammock man. I'm glad he's a little early today."
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"The price is $10."
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"You wanna be my slave?"
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"Oh, uh... Mm-hm."
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"Beer for me?"
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"Me not notice."
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"Huh, I mean four."
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"Yay!"
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"Okay, here's my Amex."
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"Homie, I must say you have the energy of 20 men lately."
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"Oh, I gotta get rid of these guys."
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"Let's all go out for some frosty chocolate milk shakes."
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"Well, at least I got my health."
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"Anything for Homers."
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"Currently the, uh, Vietcong..."
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"No!"
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"Yeehaw! The girl's right."
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"Well, boys, now it's our turn."
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"- Hip, hip... - Hooray!"
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"Looks like the only guns left are in my cold dead hands."
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"And the most evil German of all time, Kaiser Wilhelm."
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"Okay, he's in."
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"Please don't hurt our family"
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"Oh, dear."
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"Another tragedy prevented by gun violence."
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"Dr. Hibbert? But we heard you'd gone mad."
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"Now, he may try to slobber on your crotch."
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"But man's inquisitive nature is what separates us from the animals."
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"Why must we be separated? Think what Shakespeare might've accomplished..."
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"Now, who'd like some turkey? It's a lovely nerd..."
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"They're gonna try to sell us timeshares?"
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"Why am I always so funny when no one's around?"
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"Oh, I'm around."
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"Woo-hoo, quite a tiger there. Easy, easy. Ha, ha, I guess it has been a while."
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"Quiet, youse."
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"Isn't vacation sex always the best?"
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"What the...? Oh, my God. She's become a monster."
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"Hey, Homer."
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"Homer rides a freak"
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"Shh. Hey."
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"I understand that some of you are still wearing tattered pants."
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"Okay, but I'm keeping the tattered vest. I still have my dignity."
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"Hey, slops."
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"Ooh, a toenail. Ha, ha."
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""Eat my shorts"? Why, you little..."
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"Manimals, inverta-broads."
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"Hear, hear."
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"Makes you think."
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"I'm sorry. I can't live without passion."
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"Well, well, not so tough without your gun, are you, Snake?"
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"Ow. I guess you are."
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"That's what I like about this job, you learn stuff."
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"Twenty-eight, 29. There's one missing."
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"Not Mr. Blastie."
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"It's okay, boy. You'll be shooting angels in heaven."
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"Uh, this always made me feel like a man, you know?"
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"Now all I got is my enormous genitals."
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"Three cheers for a gun-free Springfield!"
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"- Hip, hip... - Hooray!"
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"- Hip, hip... - Hooray!"
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"Springfield's weapons of death have been converted..."
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"...into weapons of climbing and sliding."
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"The bumps tickle my bottom."
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"I proudly declare our town utterly defenseless."
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"If only poor William Bonney were here to see his dream come true."
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"Oh, but I am."
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"William Bonney?"
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"Better known as Billy the Kid. Ha-ha-ha!"
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"Now, I'd like you to meet the Hole in the Ground Gang."
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"- What happened to Butch Cassidy? - "What happened to Butch Cassidy?""
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"We're not joined at the hip."
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"Huh?"
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"He ain't no cowboy."
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"Sure I am."
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"Yippy, wippy, wippy."
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"Now, let's rob the bank, give the money to the poor..."
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"That's piano! I said, "pian-ee.""
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"You, sing a song about cattle rustling."
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"And you, sing one about, uh, robbing banks."
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"Calf's in the field So you sneak up slow"
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"Grab him by the tail And go, man, go"
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"Break into the bank And snatch that dough"
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"Marge, let me do a solo."
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"This could be my big break."
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"I very much doubt that, Homer."
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"These are horrible ghouls from the past."
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"Hey, so are the Grammy judges. Ha-ha-ha, ugh!"
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"...but I've perfected a device that could save us all."
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"A time machine."
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"We can go back to the past and save our guns."
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"Give me."
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"Uh, for flailing out loud, I hope he doesn't do anything..."
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"...to ruin the space-time continuum. That's all..."
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"Poor William Bonney might have become a doctor or a senator."
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"Hear me, people of the past."
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"Hey, everyone, that's us."
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"I come to deliver a terrifying message of hope."
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"Grab your guns and follow me."
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"Dad, what are you doing?"
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"Ooh, how to explain this to a child? Hmm."
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"Future Daddy needs to double kill these corpses..."
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"...so they won't come back as zombies and... Get him!"
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"I guess guns really are the answer."
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"Hear me, people of Springfield."
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"I come from yet another distant future..."
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"...where gun violence has destroyed the very Earth itself."
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"Hah! Now to get me some caveman hookers."
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"Tell me again why we're spending our vacation on the Island of Lost Souls."
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"Hey, what could be more fun than an island shaped like a big smiley face?"
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"Welcome to my island."
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"Yes, completely mad."
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"About providing topnotch vacation values. Ha-ha-ha."
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"Willie, help them with their bags."
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"Ha, ha. I've been around Scotsmen."
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"Hey, I'm on vacation."
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