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Clips from Three's Company - Alone Together (S02E02)

"Well, I wouldn't want to impose. That is no imposition."
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"A real friend'd be glad to do that. Oh, thank you, Janet. I accept."
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"What? You're a real friend."
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"Oh, but Mrs. Roper... Oh, I'm so excited!"
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"Just imagine. Tonight I'll have someone to talk to."
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"Ohh! That was very nice of you, Janet, to volunteer like that."
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"But don't worry about us. Chrissy and I will think of something to do."
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"- I'll bet you will. - What do you mean, "I'll bet you will"?"
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"I know what she means. I know what was going through your wicked little mind..."
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"when you said, "I bet you will.""
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"You think the moment you're gone, I'm gonna"
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"grab Chrissy like this and bend her over..."
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"and smother her with kisses..."
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"and pick her up in my arms and throw her on the couch and then who knows what."
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"What?"
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"Well, I'm not gonna stand here and be insulted. I'm leaving."
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"Oh, yeah. Where are you going? Well, I gotta do some fast shopping..."
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"for a very special dinner for two."
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"Uh, Chrissy, maybe I shouldn't stay with Mrs. Roper tonight."
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"- Now I'm insulted. - Oh, no, no, no. Don't get me wrong."
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"I have been alone with Jack before. Never all night."
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"[ Gasps ] Do you think I need a chaperone? Is that what you think?"
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"Oh, no, no. I'm just saying don't do anything to give him the wrong ideas..."
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"or the right ideas or any ideas."
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"- Like what? - Well, like walking around the apartment..."
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"in your little, teeny, shorty nightgown or getting too close to him or..."
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"Oh, gee... Look, Chrissy. All I'm trying to say is don't be yourself."
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"Chrissy, how about a little wine and cheese before dinner?"
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"- Chrissy, aren't you gonna join me? - [ Chrissy ] Coming!"
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"- Chrissy. - I know. I look icky, don't I?"
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"- No. You look wonderful. - I do?"
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"Yeah. Natural and real. It's such a refreshing change."
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"- It is? - Yeah. Those curlers..."
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"Oh, Chrissy. Reminds me of my first girlfriend."
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"- I was crazy about her. - You were?"
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"Oh, yeah. Every time I came to her house, she had these curlers in her hair."
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"It really turned me on."
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"- They did? - You know something, Chrissy?"
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"I love it when you're not afraid to be yourself in front of me."
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"It makes me feel so much closer to you."
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"It does? Yeah."
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"Come on. Sit down."
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"- What are you doin'? - I'm reading."
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"- Well, isn't that kind of rude? - You said you liked me to be myself."
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"Well, yeah, but I didn't mean to pull out a book and start..."
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"I'm at the most exciting part. I just can't put it down."
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"A Visitor's Tour of Sacramento?"
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"Well, it belonged to my father. Chrissy."
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"The minister..."
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"preached a sermon there once... Hey, Chrissy."
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"In a church."
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"You know something, Chrissy? Even when you're rude, you're cute."
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"- I am? - Yeah."
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"Hi, everybody! I'm home!"
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"Home."
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"Well, well, well."
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"Oh, good morning, Chrissy. Good morning, Jack."
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"Oh, hi, Janet. Hi."
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"Well, we had a pretty exciting evening."
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"- That's nice. - Yeah, I mean,"
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"Mrs. Roper and I had quite an exciting evening."
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"I'm glad."
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"- Where's Jack? - He's in the bathroom."
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"Oh."
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"Yeah, I mean to tell you, that Mrs. Roper and I had a pretty exciting evening."
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"Yeah. We played dominoes for about four hours."
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"Which reminds me, I still owe Mrs. Roper 1,700 matchsticks."
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"Yeah, and we talked. Yeah. Yes, we did."
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"Did you know that Mrs. Roper's mother was a dressmaker?"
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"Yes. Yes, she was."
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"Yeah. You know, when Mrs. Roper married Stanley,"
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"her mother made all the bridesmaids' gowns for the wedding."
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"That's nice."
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"Chrissy, is something wrong? Oh, Janet, will you knock it off?"
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"The last thing I need is your third degree, so just get off my back, okay?"
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"[ Grunts ] Chrissy! [ Door Slams ]"
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"[ Jack ] ♪ Oh, what a beautiful mornin' ♪"
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"♪ Oh, what a beautiful day ♪ [ Shouts Playfully ]"
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"Depends on what you've got in mind."
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"Hi. Hi."
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"Isn't it a sensational day? I feel great. The sun is shining."
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"The birds are singing. Surf's up. How was your night?"
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"Oh, it was okay, but I always find it hard sleeping in a strange bed."
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"Oh, me too. [ Gargles ]"
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"So, what did you do? Oh, nothin' much."
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"You know, it was very quiet without you around. Thank you."
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"- No. I mean it gave me a chance to get really close to Chrissy. - How close?"
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"Well, you know, I know a lot more about her now than I did before."
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"When Chrissy's had a little to drink, she really loosens up. How loose?"
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"Did you know she has a heart-shaped birthmark right on her..."
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"Yes, I did. And that she talks in her sleep."
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"- Jack. - ♪ There's a bright golden haze on the meadow ♪"
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"Uh, Chrissy... Uh, I think maybe we should talk about last night."
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"Oh, I can't."
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"It's just too humiliating. Humiliating?"
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"I knew it. Oh, now, listen, Chrissy."
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"Listen. Men can really be beasts sometimes."
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"You beast."
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"How did it start? Oh, it started out real nice."
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"And then we had some wine. Oh, boy, does he know his onions."
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"Oh, no, we didn't have any onions. We had some cheese and..."
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"No. No. No."
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"No, no, Chrissy. What happened after the wine?"
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"We talked. And?"
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"He kissed me on the forehead. Before or after?"
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"Instead of."
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"Do you mean that he didn't try to... No."
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"Not even a little... No."
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"He just wasn't interested. Wasn't interested?"
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"Oh, Janet, do you think I'm losing my sex appeal?"
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"Ohh, come on! Well, he didn't try anything all night."
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"Well, Chrissy... Oh, I am losing my sex appeal."
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"Well, what did you want him to do? Nothing."
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"Well, that's what he did. Well, at least he could've tried."
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"Well, would he have succeeded? Of course not, but he didn't know that."
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"You're right. Men are really beasts."
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"It's all Mr. Roper's fault for going away in the first place. Wh..."
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"Fun? Helen, I'm not having any fun. [ Distant Chatter ]"
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"No. What do you mean, "It sounds like fun"?"
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"No. That's some crazy party in the next room. Kept me up all night."
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