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Clips from The Golden Girls - Job Hunting (S01E01)

"Well, the whole world doesn't really laugh."
The Golden Girls
"That's because they're too busy calling here in the middle of the night."
The Golden Girls
"Good night, Rose!"
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"I hate phone calls in the middle of the night."
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"Now I'll never get back to sleep."
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"I'm as jumpy as a virgin at a prison rodeo."
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"Boy, that's... pretty jumpy."
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"- Well, didn't the phone scare you? - Well, of course it did."
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"One of those times I really miss having a man around."
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"They're so good at answering the phone in the middle of the night."
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"And when they're really good, you don't even hear the phone."
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"Ma, why are you sitting here in the dark?"
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"Why not? I've seen the living room before."
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"Look, look. I've got to get some rest."
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"Tomorrow I am seeing Barry Glick for the first time in 35 years."
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"If I don't get at least six hours' sleep, I look like Buddy Ebsen!"
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"- Now that you mention it... - Shut up, Blanche."
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"If I get up in the middle of the night, I eat."
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"Wait a minute, you know something? We're being selfish."
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"I mean, Rose's problem is more important than my date."
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"- Or my losing two pounds. - Three pounds."
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"- She has to face reality. - I am. I already lost one pound!"
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"I'm talking about Rose. She has to find a job."
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"She's been out of work for over a week."
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"I am really sorry about this, girls. It won't happen again."
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"- We can all go back to bed. - No, wait. Rose, sit down."
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"Move over, move over. Now, listen."
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"We have something to talk to you about. We are worried about you."
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"Now, maybe it's none of our business,"
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"but all that time that you spend with those pathetic wimps from the center,"
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"- you should spend looking for a job. - But those wimps need me."
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"Look. You are 55, unemployed,"
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"your husband is dead, and you have no training."
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"Let's face it, Rose. You're not exactly Mary Lou Retton."
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"Honey, we know it's not easy, but you got to get out there and try."
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"I have tried. I just haven't told you."
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"I've had dozens of job interviews since the center closed."
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"No one wants me. I can't afford not to work."
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"I need something to do with my life."
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"I never think of myself as old, but everyone else does."
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"Maybe I am old - old and useless... and terrified."
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"- (knock on door - Come in."
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"Oh, Rose."
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"Rose, honey, now why didn't you tell us what was going on?"
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"Because you can't help me find a job."
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"Because nobody or nothing can make me young again."
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"Oh, all right, Rose, so your life isn't the same as it used to be."
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"The rules have changed, but it's happened before, hasn't it?"
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"I mean, what did you do after Charlie died?"
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"Buried him."
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"I mean, what did you do the next day"
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"when you had to start putting your life together?"
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"I couldn't do it. I'd been a housewife for 32 years."
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"I totally depended on Charlie."
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"But the point is, eventually you did what you had to do."
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"You took care of yourself. Sweetheart, you're now in exactly the same position."
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"Not exactly. I'm five years older... and nobody wants me around."
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"Oh, honey, we want you around."
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"We just can't afford to pay you."
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"Rose, Rose, look at me."
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"Rose, listen. You are feeling sorry for yourself."
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"Sure, you're five years older - so am I, so is Blanche."
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"All right, you have a few more wrinkles -"
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"so do I, so has Blanche."
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"All right, you're a little thicker around the middle - so is Blanche!"
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"Listen, we are not going to stand by and just let you give up."
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"We're gonna figure out what it is you're doing wrong on these interviews."
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"We're gonna fix it, and we're gonna try and get you some more appointments."
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"Appointments are the easy part."
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"I've got one tomorrow."
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"I'd kill for this job - hospital administrator - but I'll never get it."
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"- I'm not qualified. I'm too old. - What time is your appointment?"
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"- 8:30. - All right, let me see your resume."
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"Come on, come on, come on."
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"OK, now, let's see. Let's see."
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"Home ec major at Rockport Community College,"
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"six months at St. Paul's Business School, 32 years of marriage,"
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"Hobbies - cheese making..."
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"...stamp collecting,"
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"and... Viking history?"
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"- Rose, this stinks. - Well, it's the truth."
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"Honey, sometimes you have to stretch the truth."
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"Of course you do. Now, let's see. Graduated top of your class."
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"Intensive post-graduate study."
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"32 years with the same employer"
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"until you moved to Miami."
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"Currently seeking work"
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"in the private sector."
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"Well, I don't know if I can pull it off, but I'm willing to try."
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"Oh, good. Now we can get some sleep."
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"Oh, I can't fall asleep now."
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"Still at the rodeo, Blanche?"
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"I can't sleep, either. Why don't I make us all some warm milk?"
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"After I drink milk, I go right to sleep."
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"I can think of something else after which I go right to sleep. Huh, Dorothy?"
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"- Girls, we can't drink plain milk. - Why not?"
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"It's disgusting. If we're gonna have milk, we need cookies."
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"Hell, if I'm gonna have cookies, I'm gonna have cheesecake."
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"- Is there cheesecake? - Chocolate cheesecake."
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"- You bought chocolate cheesecake? - Just for an emergency."
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"- What kind of emergency, nuclear war? - Depression."
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"Oh, you'll never guess what I found!"
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"Judge Crater."
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"Cookies and cream ice cream - my favorite."
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"Wait a minute. We're eating dessert. We can't start with dessert."
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"We better have something to begin with."
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"Sure. You can have some lemon chicken and smoked ham. It's all prepared."
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"- Oh, let's just start with appetizers. - That's fine."
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"- How about smoked oysters? - Oh, good."
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"Ohh, you'll never guess what I found!"
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"- Jimmy Hoffa. - Pepperoni!"
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"- Uh-oh. - Don't tell Mom."
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"- That could be an appetizer. - Well, this is good."
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"- This is all food that would have spoiled. - Oh, boy."
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"I am so glad that my date with Barry is tomorrow."
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"- The fat won't have time to show. - It won't?"
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"Where does it go in the meantime?"
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"To Connecticut! How do I know where it goes?"
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"With me, the minute it goes in my mouth, I balloon up."
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"I can go out to dinner, and in the middle of the meal,"
The Golden Girls
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