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Clips from Frasier - Ham Radio (S04E04)

- Oh, really. - Yes. You know,

"- Oh, really. - Yes. You know,"

Frasier

- Surely you must remember them. - Oh, sure.

"- Surely you must remember them. - Oh, sure."

Frasier

All right, Dad.

"All right, Dad."

Frasier

- Exactly! And I'm going to direct. - Oh, so we can stop wondering.

"- Exactly! And I'm going to direct. - Oh, so we can stop wondering."

Frasier

you'll never know what's lurking in the shadows.

"you'll never know what's lurking in the shadows."

Frasier

I've had a quick peek at your script, and I think I'd be perfect

"I've had a quick peek at your script, and I think I'd be perfect"

Frasier

as "Bull" Kragen, the brutish gamekeeper.

"as "Bull" Kragen, the brutish gamekeeper."

Frasier

- Well, maybe. - But you know what you could play?

"- Well, maybe. - But you know what you could play?"

Frasier

I was talking about a friend of mine, Maxine.

"I was talking about a friend of mine, Maxine."

Frasier

If she had a dollar for every minute she spent on stage--

"If she had a dollar for every minute she spent on stage--"

Frasier

"Look out! He's got a gun."

""Look out! He's got a gun.""

Frasier

- She doesn't have to be in costume. - Maybe here she doesn't.

"- She doesn't have to be in costume. - Maybe here she doesn't."

Frasier

Right on time, good. We have to be on our toes tonight,

"Right on time, good. We have to be on our toes tonight,"

Frasier

The same guy's playing all those parts?

"The same guy's playing all those parts?"

Frasier

and O'Toole, the handyman. Are you up to it?

"and O'Toole, the handyman. Are you up to it?"

Frasier

Isn't it lovely to be working with a professional?

"Isn't it lovely to be working with a professional?"

Frasier

- It's cut, Gil. Learn to let go. - Oh, very well.

"- It's cut, Gil. Learn to let go. - Oh, very well."

Frasier

Now, that's a lot of responsibility on you,

"Now, that's a lot of responsibility on you,"

Frasier

Stop the watch.

"Stop the watch."

Frasier

...start the watch.

"...start the watch."

Frasier

This is a grisly business, Miss Thorndyke.

"This is a grisly business, Miss Thorndyke."

Frasier

I can't believe any of my guests could be a multiple murderer.

"I can't believe any of my guests could be a multiple murderer."

Frasier

This is the silk merchant, Mr. Wang.

"This is the silk merchant, Mr. Wang."

Frasier

Stop the watch.

"Stop the watch."

Frasier

I'll just adjust his dialogue later. All right. Start.

"I'll just adjust his dialogue later. All right. Start."

Frasier

I'm Nigel Fairservice, inspector. I was strolling in the garden

"I'm Nigel Fairservice, inspector. I was strolling in the garden"

Frasier

I've done that accent both on Broadway and the London stage.

"I've done that accent both on Broadway and the London stage."

Frasier

Yes, well, perhaps they have different standards than I have.

"Yes, well, perhaps they have different standards than I have."

Frasier

And with a grateful shudder, I swore I'd never return

"And with a grateful shudder, I swore I'd never return"

Frasier

I'll trim some more before we try again.

"I'll trim some more before we try again."

Frasier

that my Irishman sounded more Protestant than Catholic,

"that my Irishman sounded more Protestant than Catholic,"

Frasier

- So, what do we do now, boss? - Not to worry. I have a plan.

"- So, what do we do now, boss? - Not to worry. I have a plan."

Frasier

Niles.

"Niles."

Frasier

How is he enjoying the prospect of playing six parts?

"How is he enjoying the prospect of playing six parts?"

Frasier

- this morning. - I'm so, so sorry, I was tinkering with it

"- this morning. - I'm so, so sorry, I was tinkering with it"

Frasier

balloons for gunshots,

"balloons for gunshots,"

Frasier

Yeah, but she's got that condition, what do you call it?

"Yeah, but she's got that condition, what do you call it?"

Frasier

But you're on radio all the time.

"But you're on radio all the time."

Frasier

Listen, that's all a part of the thrill of the live performance,

"Listen, that's all a part of the thrill of the live performance,"

Frasier

- An emergency. - What is the matter?

"- An emergency. - What is the matter?"

Frasier

Oh, I keep biting my lip.

"Oh, I keep biting my lip."

Frasier

your natural spontaneity is your best asset as an actor.

"your natural spontaneity is your best asset as an actor."

Frasier

- Hurry up, it's starting! - All right.

"- Hurry up, it's starting! - All right."

Frasier

welcoming you to KACL's re-creation of the original Mystery Theater.

"welcoming you to KACL's re-creation of the original Mystery Theater."

Frasier

...than that on which I was called out to investigate a double murder

"...than that on which I was called out to investigate a double murder"

Frasier

at the old inn on the moors.

"at the old inn on the moors."

Frasier

Her face was unfamiliar,

"Her face was unfamiliar,"

Frasier

and when she opened her lips,

"and when she opened her lips,"

Frasier

Thank God you've come.

"Thank God you've come."

Frasier

That's easy for you to say.

"That's easy for you to say."

Frasier

Please introduce me to your--

"Please introduce me to your--"

Frasier

Hans, the German butler.

"Hans, the German butler."

Frasier

Peppo! Where were you?

"Peppo! Where were you?"

Frasier

I was at the movies.

"I was at the movies."

Frasier

What's this?

"What's this?"

Frasier

Studio Five.

"Studio Five."

Frasier

I don't remember the plots of these things being so goofy.

"I don't remember the plots of these things being so goofy."

Frasier

- Don't direct me. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You're right.

"- Don't direct me. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You're right."

Frasier

- about being over time. Gil! - Yes?

"- about being over time. Gil! - Yes?"

Frasier

- That's my boyhood-in-Surrey speech. - Yes, I know.

"- That's my boyhood-in-Surrey speech. - Yes, I know."

Frasier

I don't care anymore.

"I don't care anymore."

Frasier

...the storm put the lights out.

"...the storm put the lights out."

Frasier

And we were left in darkness.

"And we were left in darkness."

Frasier

Then, a scream.

"Then, a scream."

Frasier

A gun is what he's got!

"A gun is what he's got!"

Frasier

When the lights came back up,

"When the lights came back up,"

Frasier

and Nigel Fairservice lay mortally wounded.

"and Nigel Fairservice lay mortally wounded."

Frasier

Although it's hard when the killer is among us.

"Although it's hard when the killer is among us."

Frasier

Boy, I sure didn't see that one coming.

"Boy, I sure didn't see that one coming."

Frasier

This is turning into a bloodbath.

"This is turning into a bloodbath."

Frasier

By this time, I was more baffled than ever, so I played a hunch.

"By this time, I was more baffled than ever, so I played a hunch."

Frasier

I'm not even...

"I'm not even..."

Frasier

I kept the pain of that loss buried deep within me

"I kept the pain of that loss buried deep within me"

Frasier

like a serpent coiled within a damp cave.

"like a serpent coiled within a damp cave."

Frasier

Never mind all that.

"Never mind all that."

Frasier

I'm just going to take this gun off the table.

"I'm just going to take this gun off the table."

Frasier

Or yours, Kragen and Peppo.

"Or yours, Kragen and Peppo."

Frasier

And also Mr. Wing.

"And also Mr. Wing."

Frasier

...that pretty much wrapped things up.

"...that pretty much wrapped things up."

Frasier

Hans was a mass murderer, to the surprise of everyone.

"Hans was a mass murderer, to the surprise of everyone."

Frasier

Perhaps we could have a little post-play discussion.

"Perhaps we could have a little post-play discussion."

Frasier

Let me have a tall skinny to go, please, and you can keep the change.

"Let me have a tall skinny to go, please, and you can keep the change."

Frasier

Now, I've only got a moment. I've taken on a very exciting project.

"Now, I've only got a moment. I've taken on a very exciting project."

Frasier

found out that they used to specialize in live radio dramas.

"found out that they used to specialize in live radio dramas."

Frasier

So I'm putting one on.

"So I'm putting one on."

Frasier

Yes, people of Dad's generation would sit around at night,

"Yes, people of Dad's generation would sit around at night,"

Frasier

I spoke with the station manager. He's given me 30 minutes

"I spoke with the station manager. He's given me 30 minutes"

Frasier

to re-create the very first mystery KACL ever aired.

"to re-create the very first mystery KACL ever aired."

Frasier

- "Nightmare Inn." - Oh, don't tell me, I know.

"- "Nightmare Inn." - Oh, don't tell me, I know."

Frasier

Bunch of people get caught in a storm, and everybody's wondering

"Bunch of people get caught in a storm, and everybody's wondering"

Frasier

No, the trouble is he doesn't know how to stop directing.

"No, the trouble is he doesn't know how to stop directing."

Frasier

In our prep school production of Richard III,

"In our prep school production of Richard III,"

Frasier

he drove the entire cast crazy with his constant critiquing.

"he drove the entire cast crazy with his constant critiquing."

Frasier

I seem to recall a delay on opening night while our Richard chased Frasier

"I seem to recall a delay on opening night while our Richard chased Frasier"

Frasier

around the dressing room, beating him with his hump.

"around the dressing room, beating him with his hump."

Frasier

Niles, it was just a little backstage horseplay to relieve tension.

"Niles, it was just a little backstage horseplay to relieve tension."

Frasier

- Thank you. - You have an Orson Welles complex.

"- Thank you. - You have an Orson Welles complex."

Frasier

In the end, you'll be directing,

"In the end, you'll be directing,"

Frasier

you'll have rewritten the script and be playing the lead.

"you'll have rewritten the script and be playing the lead."

Frasier

I have no intention of performing in it myself.

"I have no intention of performing in it myself."

Frasier

The only rewriting I've done is simply cutting, to get it down to 30 minutes.

"The only rewriting I've done is simply cutting, to get it down to 30 minutes."

Frasier

- "Frasier Crane's Nightmare Inn"? - It's just a working title.

"- "Frasier Crane's Nightmare Inn"? - It's just a working title."

Frasier

Well, that's our show for today, but let me remind you to tune in

"Well, that's our show for today, but let me remind you to tune in"

Frasier

Just set your dials for goose bumps.

"Just set your dials for goose bumps."

Frasier

Well, that should certainly comfort the woman

"Well, that should certainly comfort the woman"

Frasier

who called in about her paranoia.

"who called in about her paranoia."

Frasier

- Do we have a leading man yet? - No.

"- Do we have a leading man yet? - No."

Frasier

- Well, you could do it. - Oh, don't be silly, Roz.

"- Well, you could do it. - Oh, don't be silly, Roz."

Frasier

My God, it is a juicy part, does call for a strong voice,

"My God, it is a juicy part, does call for a strong voice,"

Frasier

You know, Gil, I think that's just a bit too on the nose.

"You know, Gil, I think that's just a bit too on the nose."

Frasier

Drummed out of the Royal Air Force under mysterious circumstances.

"Drummed out of the Royal Air Force under mysterious circumstances."

Frasier

With him playing it, they may not seem so mysterious.

"With him playing it, they may not seem so mysterious."

Frasier

I'll take it.

"I'll take it."

Frasier

After all, Nigel does have that divine speech in the second act

"After all, Nigel does have that divine speech in the second act"

Frasier

about his boyhood in Surrey: "Romping with his school chums

"about his boyhood in Surrey: "Romping with his school chums"

Frasier

in the fens and spinneys, when the twilight bathed

"in the fens and spinneys, when the twilight bathed"

Frasier

Gosh, we still have a lot of these supporting roles to cast.

"Gosh, we still have a lot of these supporting roles to cast."

Frasier

Actually, I'm working on that. Jennifer down in Accounting

"Actually, I'm working on that. Jennifer down in Accounting"

Frasier

is married to a professional actor who specializes in dialects.

"is married to a professional actor who specializes in dialects."

Frasier

I'm thinking of asking him to play six or seven smaller parts.

"I'm thinking of asking him to play six or seven smaller parts."

Frasier

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