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Clips from 30 Rock - Goodbye, My Friend (S03E03)

"Me, Lutz, Toofer, and Josh are gonna go to that bar"
30 Rock
"You in?"
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"No, I'm just gonna go to the 24-h donut place and go home."
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"It's this endless adoption process."
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"I am totally humiliated."
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"How could you cut diaper chicken?"
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"Wait, I know. Because Tracy's the star."
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"Oh brother, she's feeling neglected."
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"How's she gonna act out this time?"
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"I need something to do."
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"or a fundraiser to give bow ties to inner city youths?"
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"Of course."
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"A dozen assorted for me to take home to my family."
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"That's $6.80."
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"That creative thing you guys do,"
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"Optometrist."
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"punch out umpires in my little league."
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"for my 4th birthday lasagna and never came back."
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"Restore the glory of the Rossitano name."
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"You went to law school?"
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""I love you. No, I'm mad at you."
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""You did this on purpose." As if."
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"Meanwhile, his Myface page still says, "Status: horny"."
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"Man, there are just so many"
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"Get out of here!"
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"Why can't you go back where you came from?"
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"Go."
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"This reminds me of my favorite movie."
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"the child/legendary north-american forest ape."
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"Harry went back to the woods."
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"Excuse me, Mr. Jordan."
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"no one ever bothered to throw me a party."
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"I don't need a birthday. I buy myself all the presents I need."
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"I'm sad you never had that."
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"about your family and law school."
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"Sorry. I was drunk. I shouldn't have told you that stuff."
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"No, I'm glad you did. We have a lot in common."
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"Are you serious?"
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"Right."
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"Congratulations."
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"It's a thing. The CW has them."
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"Welcome."
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"So do you want me to start youth consulting now?"
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"Yes, ma'am."
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"That's horrible."
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"I'm glad you feel that way, cause we have this big party planned for you."
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"Go back home, try to get back with Tim and keep the baby, or..."
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"You have crossed a line."
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"Says who? Being terrible has never prevented"
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"You gotta give them the same chance."
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"- What are you doing? - My pregnant teen message board"
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"it just gets nutrients from you."
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"and tell her she's a giant asswipe."
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"What's that?"
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"It's not the right time for me to have a family, but..."
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"But I don't have a birthday!"
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"and wanted you to feel this joy."
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"Jenna time."
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"to pursue my dream"
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"Did you know that if you sing "Happy Birthday" on a TV show"
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"at the new Yankee Stadium!"
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"Make a wish, Mr. Jordan. Blow out the candles."
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"I decided to take up on your offer."
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"Good man, and you went to my tailor."
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"in the american judicial system."
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"My client has no memory of that."
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"A lawyer."
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"And this man."
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"Go open up some more wine."
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"or six feet under."
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"- Lemon, are you OK? - That pregnant girl,"
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"she was going to give me her baby."
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"But now that dad is here, he's gonna ruin everything."
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"for almost two days."
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"When time came to do the hard thing"
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"Did it hurt? You bet it hurt."
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"This is my life, Jack."
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"so you could help us figure out what Mr. Jordan's birthday wish coulda been."
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"So we can make it come true"
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"That's the kindest thing anyone's ever done for me."
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"But who would I celebrate with if y'all were in a car accident?"
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"Fine, Lithgow. I'll do the right thing. God!"
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"When you said she didn't wanna see me, it was such a relief."
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"Nut up right now, get a job, and help raise that kid."
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"and get married and have disposable cameras at the wedding"
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"because it's fun and people like it."
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"No, I'm gonna be a lawyer."
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"Can't you see we don't want you anymore?"
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"I don't understand."
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"Those two,"
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"My God. Look at your boobs."
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"Yeah, but mine was real. Yours was Frank."
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"I'm confident that someday you'll have everything you want."
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"Sad..."
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"All right."
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"What are you depressed about or celebrating?"
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"It took me 3 months..."
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"My ankle!"
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"Imaginary injury."
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"Her birthday's on Tuesday."
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"- What are you still doing here? - It's Friday night."
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"But I'm committed to Elisa."
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"While she's away, I try to avoid temptation."
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"I just need somewhere I can socialize where women aren't an issue."
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"Finally! Ninja time!"
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"Can we get a little service over here..."
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"I know you're getting these messages"
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"You are officially a d-bag, Tim."
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"Should you be working the night shift alone like this?"
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"It's fine. They gave me a gun."
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"I will have mine to stay, please."
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"And a skim milk."
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"- What are you doing? - Making a new friend."
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"- You have crazy eyes. - You have shut-up mouth."
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"- I don't want any part of this. - Then get out of here."
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"writing jokes for a living, making the world laugh."
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"Surgeon."
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"Died."
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"I never really knew my dad."
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"So, I just lie to myself."
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