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Clips from The Simpsons - Wedding for Disaster (S20E20)

"(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)"
The Simpsons
"(TIRES SCREECHING)"
The Simpsons
"(BRAKES SCREECHING)"
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"Springfielders have camped out all night"
The Simpsons
"Surprisingly, none of them have sold. Except for this one."
The Simpsons
"(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)"
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"What's that? The Parson is here!"
The Simpsons
"I hope you didn't go to all this trouble for little old me."
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"You just made my moustache tingle."
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"I have come here from our world spiritual headquarters in Michigan City, Indiana,"
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"(ALL LAUGHING)"
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"Maybe while we're at it We'll peek in at your pews"
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"(GASPS)"
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"So all those graces you said were a lie?"
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"I'm afraid not."
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"So, Captain, when I blessed your vessel, it didn't count."
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"(EX CLAIMS)"
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"(MARGE SIGHING)"
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"(EX CLAIMING)"
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"(LAUGHS HAPPILY)"
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"SANTA: (IN MECHANICAL VOICE) Ho, ho, ho."
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"But that's an awful lot to pay for a dress I'll only wear once."
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"This one's a little gay, isn't it?"
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"He took very good care of my mother and me."
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"Bridezilla?"
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"(GRUNTING)"
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"They taste like nothing."
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"- Sideshow Bob! - Sideshow Bob?"
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"I've got some wedding registry items for Mrs. Simpson."
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"Here it is."
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"- What the... - The lollipop is made of hot sauce."
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"- Anyone for a peppermint tea? - Not for me."
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"I miss you so much."
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"Thank you. That's very... Oh! More sarcasm."
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"But I have been waiting 45 minutes for you to slide my license over to me."
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"Okay, you are hereby banned from my store."
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"(PATTY AND SELMA EX CLAIM)"
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"Would you kids like cookies? Let your Auntie Patty make some cookies."
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"Pay? Pay for what?"
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"(BOTH GRUNT ANGRILY)"
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"(BRIDAL CHORUS PLAYING)"
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"(SINGING) The Simpsons"
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"(EX CLAIMS)"
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"(BARNEY BURPS)"
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"(HORN BELLOWING)"
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"(PLAYING DIFFERENT TUNE)"
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"(TIRES SCREECHING)"
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"(HONKING)"
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"D'oh!"
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"(SCREAMS)"
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"(SIGHING CONTENTEDLY)"
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"And so in summary, there are only two real commandments,"
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"- I knew it. - Yeah."
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"And now I have some exciting news."
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"Tomorrow we'll be blessed with a visit"
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"from the highest ranking clergyman of our Presbylutheran faith,"
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"His Holiness, the Parson!"
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"(ALL CHATTERING EX CITEDLY)"
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"The Parson? He's coming here?"
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"(SCREAMING LIKE A GIRL)"
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"Oh, my God! She fainted! Let's go get smelling salts."
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"(CAR REVVING)"
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"HOMER: Suckers!"
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"to get a glimpse of the most saintly person to visit our town"
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"since Mother Teresa stopped here to gas up her Vespa."
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"And I'm selling all sorts of faith-based knickknacks."
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"(LAUGHING)"
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"Let's take a look."
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"I'd commit arson for the parson."
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"Clergymen can kiss my apse."
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"All kinds of gems."
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"There you have it. News has never been softer."
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"(CAR HONKING LA CUCARACHA)"
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"Oh, my God! It's him!"
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"The earthly embodiment of the elected chair of the National Congress of Deacons!"
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"Well, well, well. Hello, everybody."
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"Parson! Parson! Give us a quick official church position on family."
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"Well, in these modern times, family is more important than ever."
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"Settle. Settle down."
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"Now, now. I am just a man like any other, that has been chosen by God."
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"to say, keep up the good work."
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"(ALL CHEERING)"
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"And now if you'll excuse me, I'll do a little speakin' with your deacon."
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"(SINGING) I love to go to church It's where I like to be"
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"I get a day in of praying And still tee off by three"
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"Calm down, Tim."
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"He's just your old roommate from Texas Christian."
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"He's like the pope of this thing!"
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"This would be like Mary Kay visiting you when you were selling her cosmetics!"
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"That is, if you had stuck with it."
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"You asked me to quit because I was making more than you."
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"Not now. He's here."
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"Welcome, Your Holiness."
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"You'll love what we've done with the church."
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"There's fresh wax on all the pews."
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"Sounds to me like somebody put on more than just one coat."
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"Maybe."
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"Tim, is there somewhere that we can talk?"
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"- Of course. My office. - Perfect."
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"(SINGING) Walking to your office Is what I like to do"
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"Nilla Wafer?"
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"I'll take two if you don't mind."
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"Tim, I'm here because of a problem with your last recertification."
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"When we tried to charge the filing fee to your credit card, it was declined."
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"Oh, yeah."
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"The bank put on a security hold after they saw a charge from an offshore poker club."
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"Helen had bought a fireplace poker from Nova Scotia."
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"She says it shifts logs better than American pokers, but I disagree."
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"We'll get through it. We always do."
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"Well, love conquers all, huh?"
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"(CHUCKLING)"
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"I remember when she was Helen Schwartzbaum."
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"In fact, I remember when she was Harold Schwartzbaum."
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"- You what? - I've said too much."
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"But for the three months it took your card to go through,"
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"you weren't certified."
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"Anything you officiated during that time, funerals, baptisms, even bingo,"
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"well, it just didn't count."
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"No, he's not!"
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"I'll notify those affected right away."
The Simpsons
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