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Clips from Peep Show - Mole-Mapping (S09E09)

"'This is just another small, insignificant lie I'll have to maintain"
Peep Show
"Oh, this is just one thing after a-bloody-nother."
Peep Show
"Actually, I'm probably going to go. You can't go. This is match point."
Peep Show
"Ooh, are we going to win the match? What if we lose the match?"
Peep Show
"The match, the match, the match!"
Peep Show
"Can we just finish the game and do this afterwards, please?"
Peep Show
"Fine. If it comes at me again, I'm not hitting it."
Peep Show
"Unlucky, Angus. 'Welcome to hell, old man!'"
Peep Show
"Shot, Mark!"
Peep Show
"Can I go now, cos I am only here so you can fuck the historian,"
Peep Show
"and I really don't see that happening."
Peep Show
"Tennis...he makes it doubles."
Peep Show
"I mean, just look at him, hogging his wife."
Peep Show
"The big, brainy, wife-hogging shit."
Peep Show
"'Fuck tennis. It's basically bullshit ping pong for giants.'"
Peep Show
"I'll bring the car round. OK."
Peep Show
"'Steal his wife while he fetches the Vectra.'"
Peep Show
"So, April, there's a...there's a talk on at the British Academy on Friday."
Peep Show
"Andrew Roberts doing a jam on World War I trench letters."
Peep Show
"There's literally only two tickets left, sadly."
Peep Show
"Cos I bought the last eight and burned the other six.'"
Peep Show
"So I was wondering if you'd... Oh, Mark, I'd love to, but..."
Peep Show
"It's kind of embarrassing, but I'm going to have my moles mapped."
Peep Show
"Oh? Yeah, I can get a little bit jumpy..."
Peep Show
"trying to cauterise the wound with one of those creme brulee torches."
Peep Show
"By no means am I excessively moley, it's not like I'm riddled."
Peep Show
"I'd just like a full body ordnance survey."
Peep Show
"Well, that's amazing, cos not everybody is up for, you know,"
Peep Show
"having their genitals photographed."
Peep Show
"No, I... I am. I'm bang up for that."
Peep Show
"A weird, kind of creepy, dermatological kind of date."
Peep Show
"'They all count, April! They all count.'"
Peep Show
"How are you feeling today?"
Peep Show
"Like a piece of shit."
Peep Show
"Why is that, do you think?"
Peep Show
"I fucking hate you, Jeremy."
Peep Show
"And you hide behind this mask of, like, slacker bullshit,"
Peep Show
"like the fact you've never done anything with your life"
Peep Show
"is some kind of Gen X lifestyle choice when really..."
Peep Show
"it's just because you're a small, talentless worm."
Peep Show
"'Hunker down, Jeremy, into the brain bunker.'"
Peep Show
"And you don't deserve Joe, cos I've been with him, and he fucks like a dinosaur."
Peep Show
"You fuck like a little child."
Peep Show
"Like an eight-year-old that's just been told off for sucking its thumb."
Peep Show
"We've still got 48 minutes left."
Peep Show
"Unless you don't want me to pay you for the full session?"
Peep Show
"Let's just dive back in, shall we?"
Peep Show
"'Back into the cesspool.'"
Peep Show
"I'm going to make you cry, Jeremy."
Peep Show
"and then I'm going to collect those tears in a little silver bowl"
Peep Show
"'Walnut Whip. Little cry. Wank into a flannel.'"
Peep Show
"I got the slot immediately after April!"
Peep Show
"What next? Take her up in a hot-air balloon, get your anuses bleached?"
Peep Show
"Mark, can I ask you something? And I want you to be honest."
Peep Show
"Am I a shit?"
Peep Show
"Absolutely you're a shit."
Peep Show
"Oh, you're a shit, Jeremy. You are the shit on my shoe."
Peep Show
"I'm a total shit?"
Peep Show
"A giant, walking, talking, anthropomorphised shit on stilts."
Peep Show
"A shit for all seasons."
Peep Show
"The shit man of Europe."
Peep Show
"What a total, total shit!"
Peep Show
"Well, I've enjoyed this, Jeremy."
Peep Show
"I need to get my act together, Mark."
Peep Show
"I'm just a waster, floating through life, jazzing into the flannel."
Peep Show
"And Joe, he's like this great guy, and cool job..."
Peep Show
"I'm laying it out there, the inner churn, the workings of man,"
Peep Show
"and you're hung up on whose jizz ends up on what bit of cloth."
Peep Show
"Which flannel, Jeremy? I don't know!"
Peep Show
"Right!"
Peep Show
"Answer the fucking question!"
Peep Show
"You know what, you're right, I've gone too far this time, Mark."
Peep Show
"Well, I am turning a corner."
Peep Show
"I'm growing up and getting an actual office"
Peep Show
"and I'm going to stop just flinging my jizz around hither and yon."
Peep Show
"How very reassuring(!) Now, excuse me while I boil-wash my face!"
Peep Show
"So, where's this gastro pub, then, Hans?"
Peep Show
"Just up here. They've got a fruity."
Peep Show
"DESCENDING BEEPS"
Peep Show
"Doesn't look very gastro, Hans."
Peep Show
"cos young Mr Wade here has been off working at a Center Parcs,"
Peep Show
"isn't that right, Wadey? Yeah, that's right, Hans."
Peep Show
"I've been working at a Center Parcs."
Peep Show
"Yeah. But he's been made redundant, sadly."
Peep Show
"And I'm thinking maybe you could have a little chat with him."
Peep Show
"Oh, is this about your self-esteem? Yeah?"
Peep Show
"No, what I wanted to ask you was..."
Peep Show
"You know your mate Mark?"
Peep Show
"Can you get me his swipe card for the bank?"
Peep Show
"He's a burglar."
Peep Show
"I'm joking! Lighten up!"
Peep Show
"Never trust the pub man."
Peep Show
"Things between me and Molly, they've gone a bit rancid."
Peep Show
"I know, mate, that's what's so surprising."
Peep Show
"And..."
Peep Show
"well, I just need some bunce for a bit of a love bombing"
Peep Show
"- you know, sexy Dresden."
Peep Show
"I don't like it."
Peep Show
"It smells of crime."
Peep Show
"Well, there's a decimal place after the first three figures."
Peep Show
"So three figures? Five figures total."
Peep Show
"Three figures actual."
Peep Show
"Look, he's harmless, Wadey."
Peep Show
"Sorry, Hans, I'm out."
Peep Show
"DESCENDING BEEPS"
Peep Show
"Oh, hello. TAPS MACHINE"
Peep Show
"What's the scores on the doors?"
Peep Show
"Including warts and skin tags? Including warts and skin tags."
Peep Show
"Drumroll... Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh..."
Peep Show
"32."
Peep Show
"Can I ask you something? Sure."
Peep Show
"Well, I thought his service game seemed a little off, but I didn't like to crow."
Peep Show
"A few years back he became totally obsessed with"
Peep Show
"writing a book about the Byzantine Church, but for the general reader."
Peep Show
"It had to be for the general reader. He was really very insistent about that."
Peep Show
"How interesting."
Peep Show
"Next thing I know, he's gone off to Turkey for five months."
Peep Show
"He'd written the Nicene Creed all over his legs."
Peep Show
"April, that's...that's awful."
Peep Show
"Maybe he's going back to that. I don't know, maybe I'm losing him again."
Peep Show
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