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Clips from Peep Show - Mole-Mapping (S09E09)

"This programme contains strong language and adult humour."
Peep Show
"Jez, I need to get to work."
Peep Show
"The Queen? Yeah, it was either the Queen or Jenson Button,"
Peep Show
"but in the end I'd probably have to say the Queen."
Peep Show
"She's funny, she's saucy, and she's got the filthiest laugh."
Peep Show
"Kind of..."
Peep Show
"'Mark still thinks I know what the public sector is.'"
Peep Show
"'Right, I want to beat Angus but fuck April."
Peep Show
"'Freudian mixed doubles.' Jeremy, can you hold your racket up?"
Peep Show
"Face forward, please, Jeremy."
Peep Show
"I invite her to the library, he offers to give us a lift."
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"'Love amongst the mustard gas.'"
Peep Show
"mole-wise. Freckle on my kneecap... "That wasn't there yesterday!""
Peep Show
"Well, be nice to have some company. It's a date."
Peep Show
"You are unmanly. And you are basically uninteresting."
Peep Show
"We're going mole mapping!"
Peep Show
"God, that's romantic, Mark(!)"
Peep Show
"Milk's gone."
Peep Show
"So I am? I'm a shit?"
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"It's pepped me up, it really has."
Peep Show
"Yes, well, I may have mentioned something about this, Jeremy."
Peep Show
"Sorry, you jazz into the flannel?"
Peep Show
"Oh, don't be so fucking parochial, Mark."
Peep Show
"Which flannel have you jazzed on?"
Peep Show
"Jesus Christ, Jeremy!"
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"That is beyond the...pale!"
Peep Show
"Oi, oi, choirboy! Fancy seeing you here."
Peep Show
"Jez, this is Wadey, mate of mine from Halfords days. All right?"
Peep Show
"Cos I always think self-esteem is a lot like actual steam."
Peep Show
"What's that, sorry?"
Peep Show
"Super Hans, quick natter? Mmm."
Peep Show
"He's not a bank robber, Jeremy."
Peep Show
"I've been burned before, Hans."
Peep Show
"It is one hot, toxic mess."
Peep Show
"And if Wadey could just borrow Mark's swipe card, we'd both be quids in."
Peep Show
"I'm talking five figures. Five figures?"
Peep Show
"mates."
Peep Show
"41! I win."
Peep Show
"'What do I win? Most physically defective male?'"
Peep Show
"Does Angus seem OK to you?"
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"'Do I detect a mental defect?'"
Peep Show
"What's...?"
Peep Show
"This is nice, isn't it?"
Peep Show
"A goodly stroll. 'Invite him out for a walk,"
Peep Show
"The old mole patrol."
Peep Show
"I was wondering... 'Is this a walloping?'"
Peep Show
"You know, guys looking out for each other? Yeah, no, sounds great."
Peep Show
"'Rectal exams with the love rival?'"
Peep Show
"Some nights she's like, "Let's take drugs and go crazy.""
Peep Show
"OK, well, I propose a wager, good sir. Loser buys the ploughman's?"
Peep Show
"'Oh, I'll buy you a ploughman's, Angus,"
Peep Show
"just comes down to order of service."
Peep Show
"'Put on the tap shoes, quick dance on his grave.'"
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"'Follow your dream, Angus, all the way into the big mind mincer.'"
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"'sleeping in a Turkish hostel, reading Scripture and getting rectal exams.'"
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"'Finally get a proper look at my arse."
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"Do you have any idea of the monthly repayments on that fucking thing?"
Peep Show
"Yes, Jeremy. Yes, I do."
Peep Show
"You've wanted this office since yesterday."
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"made up of junior and often very obliging civil servants."
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"I caught him reading the Nicene Creed on the toilet."
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"Oh, April..."
Peep Show
"I mean, we went for a ploughman's afterwards,"
Peep Show
"but the mood was pretty sombre."
Peep Show
"You know, April, it's at times like this when I just want to throw my hands up"
Peep Show
"Hm!"
Peep Show
"Do you always have coke lying around, you big druggie?"
Peep Show
"It's leftovers from Super Hans' stag."
Peep Show
"HE SNORTS"
Peep Show
"Delicious. As always."
Peep Show
"'I have never been this intensely funny.'"
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"'God, my teeth are dry!'"
Peep Show
"I mean, what is it, really? Just some very thin microchips."
Peep Show
"'She thinks I'm funny.'"
Peep Show
"'God, I'm a good friend. I've really stuck my neck out for Mark there.'"
Peep Show
"Let's just say young Mr Wade's attempts not to rob Mark's bank"
Peep Show
"You said he was harmless."
Peep Show
"Shit! Right, text pub man, tell him not to shoot Mark."
Peep Show
"Oh, sorry, mate."
Peep Show
"Apparently, you get an incredibly clear silhouette of the whole downstairs area."
Peep Show
"Sounds perfect."
Peep Show
"I'm sorry. It's a no."
Peep Show
"'And it tastes great.'"
Peep Show
"It's just some mate of Super Hans, some pub man."
Peep Show
"What do you mean, no shooting? I was going to get shot?"
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"Come on, Mark, on your high horse."
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"I'm going to get shot."
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"Oh, how many times, Mark? You are not getting..."
Peep Show
"I'm sorry, Jeremy."
Peep Show
"In a way, you do work in a bank. What's that supposed to mean?"
Peep Show
"I mean, come on, you're probably due one."
Peep Show
"I'm panicking, and I can't find the panic..."
Peep Show
"Will you stop panicking? He's just some nutter."
Peep Show
"Everything's going to be fine. No-one's getting shot."
Peep Show
"What am I doing? I need to go back in!"
Peep Show
"What about Angus?"
Peep Show
"A muffin? You're going to stand here, waiting for a massacre, eating a muffin?"
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"They don't seem to know who you are.'"
Peep Show
"'You're not really at Highgrove, are you, Jeremy?'"
Peep Show
"Right."
Peep Show
"MARK CHUCKLES"
Peep Show
"'Gorgeous Joe. I want to crawl inside your lovely pink mouth.'"
Peep Show
"Oh, yeah, of course. Me, too. Busy, busy, busy."
Peep Show
"Like, who's the most famous person you've life-coached?"
Peep Show
"I would probably have to say... 'Think of someone famous'"
Peep Show
"...the Queen. 'Interesting choice.'"
Peep Show
"You've life-coached the Queen?"
Peep Show
"It wasn't just me. A small cadre of life coaches were airlifted into Highgrove."
Peep Show
"What was she like? She is..."
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"outlandish."
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"Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh..."
Peep Show
"Wow. No offence, Jez,"
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"I just thought your life-coaching was maybe a part-time thing,"
Peep Show
"cos you do it out of your bedroom."
Peep Show
"HE LAUGHS Oh, Joe."
Peep Show
"I have an office, obvs."
Peep Show
"Whereabouts? It's..."
Peep Show
"You know the office block on the corner of, er, Cowper Street?"
Peep Show
"Yeah. 'Oh.' You do? Great."
Peep Show
"Yeah, well, I have a place there."
Peep Show
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