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Clips from Frasier - The Crucible (S01E01)

"- And I said "no... - Dad, please!"
Frasier
"All right, but stop shadowing me! I don't need a nursemaid!"
Frasier
"I do! Be a love and watch that man with a cane."
Frasier
"- I'm Martha Paxton. - Of course. Who else could you be?"
Frasier
"Everyone, your attention please!"
Frasier
"- So I don't have to shake hands. - How delightfully eccentric."
Frasier
"You must meet my brother Niles. Oh, Niles!"
Frasier
""Live with my work." I love that phrase. This way, please."
Frasier
"This is the perfect spot for an ideal viewing. Oh, God..."
Frasier
""Elegy In Green," in your own words."
Frasier
"You insinuate the palette but never lean on it."
Frasier
"You've captured the Zeitgeist!"
Frasier
"It's the most perfect canvas I've gazed upon."
Frasier
"One can only imagine what inspired you to paint it!"
Frasier
"Roz, at the party tonight. Nice gal. Ask her out."
Frasier
"Dad, you mind? I've had the most humiliating evening."
Frasier
"I don't think that woman bathes."
Frasier
"Enjoy it while you can, because it's going back to the dealer."
Frasier
"I'll demand my money back."
Frasier
"No one takes advantage of Frasier Crane!"
Frasier
"You're upset. I'll return it for you."
Frasier
"I appreciate the gesture, but what do you know about the art world?"
Frasier
"I can see the love in your eyes."
Frasier
"- Yes, I am, Philip Hayson. - I'm Dr Frasier Crane."
Frasier
"My wife and I love your show. Could I have your autograph?"
Frasier
"But speaking of autographs, I have a problem with this painting."
Frasier
"- I'd rather not have any wine... - Just a moment, just..."
Frasier
"- Oh, it finishes well. - Would you like more?"
Frasier
"No, thank you. I gave a small soiree which Martha Paxton attended"
Frasier
"and she told me that this painting was not her work."
Frasier
"I can imagine how embarrassing that was."
Frasier
"Ronald, Diane, will you step in here?"
Frasier
"Mrs Chitcherelli wanted to buy it."
Frasier
"- Some brie? - No, I don't want any brie."
Frasier
"I want my money back!"
Frasier
"We have a strict policy here. All sales are final."
Frasier
"I'll make this simple, I want my money."
Frasier
"Oh, I know what you're doing."
Frasier
"- Whatever you say. - I don't believe it."
Frasier
"Where is the justice in this?"
Frasier
"Did a crate of freshly painted Rembrandts just arrive?"
Frasier
"I thought you were going to return it."
Frasier
"- Now what? - I'll call the police."
Frasier
"- 555-3000. - Thanks."
Frasier
"Try to mess with Dr Frasier Crane."
Frasier
"Fine Arts Forgery Department."
Frasier
"Hi, who's this? Hey, Doris! Yeah, Marty Crane."
Frasier
"I just thought he needed a bite of a reality sandwich."
Frasier
"Yeah, give my best to the guys. Thanks. Yeah, bye."
Frasier
"No time for artsy-fartsy stuff."
Frasier
"Maris lost her earring. Daphne crawled under the bed to look for it while I..."
Frasier
"Yes?"
Frasier
"when everybody stampeded for the elevator."
Frasier
"- Two hours early. - Shut up!"
Frasier
"Does this foul mood mean you were unable to unload the bogus Paxton?"
Frasier
"- The meanest. - The second one."
Frasier
"Forget it. Five years of litigation will be eight times the painting's price."
Frasier
"I know, I can use my radio show."
Frasier
"I can use my bully pulpit to expose that man for the fraud he is!"
Frasier
"They'll sue you for slander."
Frasier
"I'm a beloved household name and I've been screwed!"
Frasier
"Sometimes the bad guy wins and things you thought would help you,"
Frasier
"the courts and the police, aren't there when you need them."
Frasier
"So let it eat a hole in your stomach"
Frasier
"He's sitting there with his wine and his little chuckle at my expense."
Frasier
"to just slash his tyres or throw a brick through his window!"
Frasier
"I know you would never resort to that sort of thing."
Frasier
"Would you, Frasier?"
Frasier
"There's a vein throbbing in your forehead."
Frasier
"No, It's in Dr Crane's room."
Frasier
"No... Oh, this is odd. Now it's in the hallway."
Frasier
"Eddie!"
Frasier
"- Get in the car. - What are you doing here?"
Frasier
"but it's the only thing left for me!"
Frasier
"I had to get a ladder and climb up there wearing only a towel, wet and shivering."
Frasier
"There I was, hanging naked from a goalpost, and everyone was laughing,"
Frasier
"Why are you telling me this?"
Frasier
"Because I was so humiliated."
Frasier
"I had to listen while you were sitting on my chest."
Frasier
"But if you throw that brick,"
Frasier
"you will have lost something more valuable than your money."
Frasier
"You will have lost...your mind. You can't do this!"
Frasier
"If you could show restraint after so much humiliation,"
Frasier
"not to mention the nicknames..."
Frasier
"- "Peachfuzz"? - Coach Medwick made that one up."
Frasier
"I'm proud of you."
Frasier
"♪ Baby, I hear the blues a-calling"
Frasier
"♪ When the moon hits your eye Like a big pizza... ♪"
Frasier
"I purchased a painting by one of our premier artists."
Frasier
"I'm having a few friends over for a little gathering this Friday night"
Frasier
"Me theory on death is, you're whisked down a dark tunnel"
Frasier
"Delightful story, but I think the toast points need replenishing."
Frasier
"No, I'm just on edge. I want everything to be perfect."
Frasier
"- And you look radiant! - I look like crap."
Frasier
"Everyone!"
Frasier
"- May I take your...poncho? - No, I never take it off at parties."
Frasier
"Guilty, yes."
Frasier
"in a slightly better light, shall we?"
Frasier
"- Is she still...? - As a melon, yes."
Frasier
"- You'll make an exception. - I can't."
Frasier
"Dad! They're laughing at me."
Frasier
"What were you doing back there?"
Frasier
"...searched the credenza."
Frasier
"It would be so satisfying"
Frasier
"To show that you can't get away with this."
Frasier
"Give me the other earring. Maybe I'll get something."
Frasier
"- Stopping you from being stupid. - I know this is wrong,"
Frasier
"Then the towel fell off."
Frasier
"and Coach Medwick just stood there going... Whatever that means."
Frasier
"I was just about to put sugar into Coach Medwick's gas tank,"
Frasier
"- Nicknames. There were nicknames? - You didn't know that?"
Frasier
"♪ Scrambled eggs all over my face"
Frasier
"Seattle, come on, I know you're out there."
Frasier
"All right, if that's the way you want it, you leave me no recourse."
Frasier
"for some cocktails and such."
Frasier
"and the crotch of my pantyhose is creeping down to my knees."
Frasier
"Welcome to my salon."
Frasier
"- I have a little... -The Dr Frasier Crane on the radio?"
Frasier
"Yes."
Frasier
"Ms Paxton? Dr Niles Crane. It's an honour to shake your hand."
Frasier
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