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Clips from The Office - Lice (S09E09)

"It looks-- it looks awesome."
The Office
"You look like a baby who suddenly aged 50 years."
The Office
"A cute baby, but something sucked the life force out of it."
The Office
"I'm so sorry. We need mayonnaise."
The Office
"- We need it now. - Oh, uh, uh, I'll go."
The Office
"- Okay. - Oh, thank you."
The Office
"- You're a saint, Pam. - No, it's not a big deal, please, no."
The Office
"Uh, Meredith, could I get you something special"
The Office
"while I'm at the store?"
The Office
"Candy or-- or one of those stylish turbans?"
The Office
"I'll take a pack of Nicorette gum"
The Office
"and a pack of Kools."
The Office
"Let's talk pubes, people."
The Office
"- Hey, Darryl. - Oh, hey, Val."
The Office
"Oh, that was like a car crash. I couldn't look away."
The Office
"Yeah."
The Office
"when I wasn't feeling good."
The Office
"She's not around to do that anymore."
The Office
"I can't bear to see him suffer like this."
The Office
"I think he needs some hugs"
The Office
"and maybe some chocolate cake."
The Office
"Mmm. This won't help him. It's a muffin, not cake."
The Office
"Listen, let's try and get Darryl the one thing in the world"
The Office
"- An Escalade. - Or what's her name."
The Office
"I can't get my knees under a desk."
The Office
"Are you kidding me?"
The Office
"I could literally scalp tickets to this."
The Office
"Well, you think you could sink one from deep?"
The Office
"Wow. Halpert's got game. All right."
The Office
"[Cell phone rings] Oh, sorry. I'm so sorry."
The Office
"Hey, what's up? Everything okay?"
The Office
"Um, I was just calling to see, uh, how the meeting went."
The Office
"Oh, it's still happening right now, actually, so--"
The Office
"He's, uh, really making you work for it, huh?"
The Office
"Yes, it is very stressful. Are you sure everything's okay?"
The Office
"Great. I am killing it over here."
The Office
"- Jim, I gotta go. - Okay, bye."
The Office
"- So sorry about that. - Oh, no problem."
The Office
"Hey, Jim, what size do you wear, man?"
The Office
"I got a pair of Japanese Nikes with your name on 'em."
The Office
"- What do you think? - I love it."
The Office
"Once it's all over your head, just leave it there for four hours."
The Office
"suffocate, and then pass away."
The Office
"Oh, sure."
The Office
"And when you're ready to get serious,"
The Office
"come to me to get it done right."
The Office
"Put those away before you hurt yourself."
The Office
"[Fabric rips]"
The Office
"- [Gasps] - Oh, God. Oh, no."
The Office
"No. No!"
The Office
"No! No! No!"
The Office
"No! No!"
The Office
"Oscar, you want to be my partner?"
The Office
"Hey, uh, mayo buddy, $5 tip,"
The Office
"you unclog my ears, okay?"
The Office
"Oh, Creed, I'm so sorry."
The Office
"Uh, yeah."
The Office
"We promised each other if we ever got lice,"
The Office
"we'd buddy up, so, sorry, man."
The Office
"Oh, God. Stuck with the weirdo."
The Office
"[Sighs]"
The Office
"Angela."
The Office
"You don't want bugs, you know?"
The Office
"You're getting a bargain. I ain't got no hair no more."
The Office
"[Sighs]"
The Office
"Creed, I'm all done. My turn."
The Office
"Well, wait."
The Office
"[Both grunt]"
The Office
"Ksk, ksk, ksk, ksk, ksk."
The Office
"- Eiffel tower. - Oh! [Laughs]"
The Office
"Now."
The Office
"Can I help you?"
The Office
"We don't want to pry,"
The Office
"We think you made a big, big mistake."
The Office
"- Big mistake. - Quite enormous."
The Office
"He's a real catch, and you should take him back."
The Office
"No. No, that is not all."
The Office
"about that pair of motorcycle boots you've never even worn."
The Office
"You buy a diamond ring for yourself"
The Office
"and tell yourself you're all you need."
The Office
"One day, you're alone, tired."
The Office
"But where did it come from?"
The Office
"Why did you kill it?"
The Office
"It is because, in some strange way,"
The Office
"Thank you all for your concern,"
The Office
"but I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, okay?"
The Office
"Thank you."
The Office
"So does this mean you're gonna take Darryl back?"
The Office
"No."
The Office
"Well, then, what would you say to you and me hitting the town?"
The Office
"'Cause I'm free, literally, forever."
The Office
"Yeah, Kevin asked me out."
The Office
"and then Kevin asked me out."
The Office
"Thought I might trade up to a new level of man."
The Office
"Then Kevin asked me out."
The Office
"Look, Cece's school just called."
The Office
"- She still has lice. - What? No, that can't--"
The Office
"I don't-- - Now, don't worry, don't worry."
The Office
"Sometimes lice, like... [Phone clatters]"
The Office
"- Oh, my God. - Shave her head."
The Office
"You guys, I am so sorry!"
The Office
"It's just been so chaotic with Jim gone that I--"
The Office
"Yeah, yeah, princess fancy-pants"
The Office
"letting Jane 12-pack over here take the fall!"
The Office
"[Amplified] She's right, Pam."
The Office
"Is there a volume knob on that thing?"
The Office
"Well, a lot of good your sorrys are doing her now, Pam."
The Office
"She's a monster."
The Office
"I meant to say something earlier. I just--"
The Office
"Who's the one that didn't bring lice into the office?"
The Office
"Meredith."
The Office
"Sure, I gave everybody pink-eye once,"
The Office
"and my ex keyed a few of their cars."
The Office
"And, yeah, I BMed in the Shredder on New Year's,"
The Office
"but I didn't bring the lice in."
The Office
"You have exactly 60 seconds to evacuate the bullpen."
The Office
"At that time... (Clicks)"
The Office
"I will be tossing this powerful insecticidal grenade,"
The Office
"(Gasps)"
The Office
"Dwight, are you okay?"
The Office
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