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Clips from The Office - Lice (S09E09)

"I think they're going to the Conference finals."
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"- No. - Bynum, an obvious monster."
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"Sucks. Anyway, I just don't see it."
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"The Knicks are tough."
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"The Hawks are terrible. They're always terrible."
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"Whatever. It's not a big deal."
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"Okay. Pam, that's it. I'm going home."
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"What?"
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"Yikes."
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"disinfecting every sheet, towel, toy,"
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"and he's doing it all for the family."
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"Hey, are you nervous about your big meeting?"
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"But that's what I signed up for, right?"
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"- I love you. - Love you too. Bye."
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"How are you doing?"
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"Me and Val were going nowhere,"
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"and if I'm gonna be working in Philly,"
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"Here's how you do it."
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"And then you gain a lot of weight."
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"I'll never be sorry, not for a moment of it."
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"Me neither. Come here."
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"No wonder Jim left you."
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"Can you just fill out the form, please?"
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"Yes. [Scratching]"
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"Between the foster homes and the orphanage,"
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"I had lice 22 times."
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"[Gasps]"
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"Oh, God, Meredith! Lice?"
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"Dwight, relax. It's just lice."
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"Just lice, Pam?"
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"lice are the ones I detest the most."
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"I use lice shampoo every morning."
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"- Hey! - Oh!"
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"Hey, what do you want? I know who I am."
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"I wash my hands at least six times a day."
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"Toilet seat covers?"
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"not when it comes to Meredith."
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"That means we're playing by my rules."
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"No messing with the baler,"
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"and be cool in front of me and Val."
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"was large amounts of Shepherd's pie and Brandy."
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"Guys, I think we should all ease up on Meredith."
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"This has got to be hard for her."
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"I have not yet begun to shame."
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"And are all the snacks complimentary?"
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"[Electric razor buzzing]"
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"Yeah, Pam? What do you want?"
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"What were you saying?"
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"Nothing."
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"I'm going to tell her,"
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"but now is clearly not the time."
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"I will buy her a wig, we'll have a few laughs."
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"Scalp leeches, skull vampires,"
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"No. All we need is mayonnaise."
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"I would imagine."
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"to show them lice who's boss."
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"Not that it looks bad, Meredith."
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"When I was a kid, my grandmother used to make me chocolate cake"
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"I'm sorry."
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"Val."
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"Let's get Darryl Val."
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"I hope you don't mind me bringing you out here."
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"This is my wife. Can I take this?"
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"If it's your wife, you better take it."
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"Oh, no. Everything's great."
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"That will be enough time for the lice to fall asleep,"
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"Okay, it's easier with a buddy, so everybody pair up."
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"Hey, Creed. Want to be my buddy?"
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"- Well-- - Um--"
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"but we heard you broke up with Darryl."
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"Yeah, that's true."
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"Okay. Thank you. Is that all?"
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"The men dry up, and the nights get lonely."
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"The only calls on your machine are from collection agencies"
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"go to his daughter's soccer games, and make a scene."
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"At your feet, a dying bird."
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"[Phone rings]"
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"[Mayonnaise splats]"
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"I'm on my way to pick her up, but you might have lice too."
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"Shave her head!"
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"Yes, there's a volume knob on that thing!"
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"Attention, people of the office."
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"Cold."
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"What's that?"
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"Oops."
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"You do kind of look like Elvis,"
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"[Machine whirring, plastic wrap bubbles popping]"
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"I wonder what happened over there."
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"- Okay. - Huh?"
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"But--"
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"Yay."
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"[Humming]"
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"I guess so."
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"- Let me show you how... - Yeah, you show me how to do it."
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"Hope your day got better. Love you."
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"Hey."
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"I mean, I really respect you"
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"- ♪ I come-- ♪ - Not yet."
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"To me, the Sixers are a five seat tops."
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"I bit my lip at lunch today."
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"- The Nets are tough. - Oh, the Nets are super tough."
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"Now I have this big bump on my lip that hurts."
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"I hate it."
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"Okay, you need to think about it"
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"if this is the worst thing that's gonna happen--"
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"You gotta be kidding me!"
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"Morning, Meredith."
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"Oh, sorry. Pam."
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"Jim's been spending a few days a week in Philly,"
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"and I'm not gonna lie-- it's been challenging."
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"Yesterday, things took a turn for the worse."
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"I found out Cece has lice, so I was up all night,"
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"item of clothing in the entire house."
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"He has a huge meeting today, under a lot of pressure,"
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"I am meeting Dr. J today,"
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"otherwise known as Julius Erving,"
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"But I have to be careful not to rub it in Pam's face"
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"because, let's be honest, how would I feel"
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"if I was at home, stuck with the kids"
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"while she was go-karting with John Stamos?"
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