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Clips from Dr. Ken - The Master Scheduler (S01E01)

"Morning, playa."
Dr. Ken
"Uh-huh."
Dr. Ken
"was so that she could be a bitch to you."
Dr. Ken
"Ah, the holidays... Stockings full of gifts,"
Dr. Ken
"Christmas or not,"
Dr. Ken
"you just have to tell your mother she has to respect you."
Dr. Ken
"She hung up on me."
Dr. Ken
"Our couple's massage."
Dr. Ken
"It's just a bed, honey."
Dr. Ken
"Stuff got real this year."
Dr. Ken
"Yeah. I mean, aren't we?"
Dr. Ken
"You said you were gonna tell them."
Dr. Ken
"No! Remember?"
Dr. Ken
"Wait. What's happening here?"
Dr. Ken
"God, that was a great few days."
Dr. Ken
"It was."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, so, you would literally rather have surgery"
Dr. Ken
"than vacation with your own children?"
Dr. Ken
"This is so not fair!"
Dr. Ken
"I want to learn how to surf!"
Dr. Ken
"Look, I'm sorry, guys."
Dr. Ken
"See? I told you I'm not that good an actor."
Dr. Ken
"Gangsta gonna play me like that?"
Dr. Ken
"Yeah, I'm... I'm talking about hosin' one of the chosen."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, come on."
Dr. Ken
"Your people are famous for your sense of humor."
Dr. Ken
"The gay, Lutheran vegans?"
Dr. Ken
"- Um, pat. - Huh?"
Dr. Ken
"That's not my jurisdiction, but would you like a raise?"
Dr. Ken
"Listen, don't worry about it."
Dr. Ken
"Nah. It's this hard-ass Phil Stockton."
Dr. Ken
"He's the master scheduler."
Dr. Ken
"Doesn't work that way."
Dr. Ken
"She is our liaison."
Dr. Ken
"That is scary."
Dr. Ken
"One time, Dr. Miller broke protocol"
Dr. Ken
"All right. I won't talk to him."
Dr. Ken
"Regardless, I'm gonna need the day."
Dr. Ken
"the island paradise where my wife and I"
Dr. Ken
"And hopefully this time,"
Dr. Ken
"Dr. Ken, you didn't tell me to ask Phil for new year's off."
Dr. Ken
"You obviously lost it."
Dr. Ken
"If I may?"
Dr. Ken
"Come on. Allison already booked the flights to Hawaii."
Dr. Ken
"Come on, Damona, please."
Dr. Ken
"Hey, hey, don't put that on me."
Dr. Ken
"I am very sorry, sir."
Dr. Ken
"Hey. Trouble in not-paradise?"
Dr. Ken
"That is your food. Protect it!"
Dr. Ken
"because you and dad are abandoning us."
Dr. Ken
"Stay away, Tracy!"
Dr. Ken
"Nice try. You're still not coming."
Dr. Ken
"Not falling for it."
Dr. Ken
"Then it docks on a secluded beach,"
Dr. Ken
"I mean, sounds pretty rigid."
Dr. Ken
"The excursion is literally called"
Dr. Ken
"maybe we should stay home."
Dr. Ken
"You son of a bitch. You didn't get the days off."
Dr. Ken
"Which I did!"
Dr. Ken
"This really hurts."
Dr. Ken
"I mean, I only had one thing to do!"
Dr. Ken
"Dealer's choice."
Dr. Ken
"Ooh-hoo! Ah! Yes!"
Dr. Ken
"Come on. Come on."
Dr. Ken
"I'm officially screwed."
Dr. Ken
"Allison's gonna notice I'm not there."
Dr. Ken
"I'm guessing that'll be the highlight of her trip."
Dr. Ken
"What is this, casual Friday?"
Dr. Ken
"I talked to Phil."
Dr. Ken
"- What did he say? - It's still a big, fat no."
Dr. Ken
"‭but but I have an idea."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course."
Dr. Ken
"I'm gonna go take care of this."
Dr. Ken
"Congratulations."
Dr. Ken
"I brought Hawaiian barbecue... You know, 'cause of our trip."
Dr. Ken
"Oh. I just thought that since Ken forgot to ask for the..."
Dr. Ken
"Stop talking, Julie."
Dr. Ken
"Well, then change the subject."
Dr. Ken
"What?"
Dr. Ken
"What does that mean?"
Dr. Ken
"No. Allison's not the devil."
Dr. Ken
"Phil is. I'm gonna go talk to him."
Dr. Ken
"I did not get that at all."
Dr. Ken
"but I think that this is a terrible idea."
Dr. Ken
"Okay. That may have been an urban legend, but still."
Dr. Ken
"So, just to recap,"
Dr. Ken
"I'm looking for "yes," "sure," or "definitely.""
Dr. Ken
"Oh, god, I knew it!"
Dr. Ken
"I am."
Dr. Ken
"Le twist!"
Dr. Ken
"I picked him out of the directory."
Dr. Ken
"who's about to be all kinds of confused."
Dr. Ken
"You're... You're okay with that?"
Dr. Ken
"I'm gonna..."
Dr. Ken
"And this is my saddle burger giddy up card."
Dr. Ken
"You take it 'cause you are a Saint."
Dr. Ken
"What are you doing?"
Dr. Ken
"the master scheduler."
Dr. Ken
"Dr. Ken! No! No!"
Dr. Ken
"No! No! No, I'm serious. I talked to the master scheduler."
Dr. Ken
"but you can relax now 'cause we're going to Hawaii!"
Dr. Ken
"And you know what, Al?"
Dr. Ken
"I don't even... wait. Wait."
Dr. Ken
"I'm the master scheduler."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, honey, I-I-I got to go."
Dr. Ken
"What the hell is going on?"
Dr. Ken
"So... I made up an alter ego."
Dr. Ken
"Like Bruce Wayne has Batman."
Dr. Ken
"Hey, did I not give him the long weekend for his dad's birthday?"
Dr. Ken
"on Valentine's Day 'cause of me."
Dr. Ken
"And what about when you needed those three days"
Dr. Ken
"I mean, without her,"
Dr. Ken
"I can't help somebody I really want to help, and it sucks."
Dr. Ken
"Look, Damona, it's not your fault."
Dr. Ken
"Absolutely."
Dr. Ken
"I mean, the only one who doesn't hate me"
Dr. Ken
"Hey, Phil."
Dr. Ken
"We hugged recently, and there may have been a kiss."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, I'm certain there was."
Dr. Ken
"You took my money, my giddyup card, and my heart."
Dr. Ken
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