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Clips from Kevin Can Wait - Neighborhood Watch (S01E01)

"Oh. Rootger's here."
Kevin Can Wait
"- Come in! - From next door?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Good morning, friends."
Kevin Can Wait
"- Are you kidding me?! - Yeah."
Kevin Can Wait
"I just made that Jets mailbox."
Kevin Can Wait
"What kind of animal would do this?"
Kevin Can Wait
"The kind that wants to up property values in the neighborhood?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Too soon, Donna. Too soon."
Kevin Can Wait
"Well, we should call the police."
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh, yeah, hey, that's a good idea."
Kevin Can Wait
""Hey, uh, could you get me the police?""
Kevin Can Wait
""Uh, sir, you are the police.""
Kevin Can Wait
""That's right. I keep forgetting."
Kevin Can Wait
""My wife makes me call"..."
Kevin Can Wait
"Okay, all right, honey."
Kevin Can Wait
"Uh, you're retired. You're not the police anymore."
Kevin Can Wait
"Do you want me to call them back?"
Kevin Can Wait
"What are we gonna do? We got to do something about this,"
Kevin Can Wait
"'cause whoever did this thinks they got away with it."
Kevin Can Wait
"There's just gonna go for it again."
Kevin Can Wait
"You know what? I'm gonna call the guys."
Kevin Can Wait
"We're gonna set up like a neighborhood watch."
Kevin Can Wait
"I want in."
Kevin Can Wait
"Criminals..."
Kevin Can Wait
"They're like those, uh, bugs that come into your house."
Kevin Can Wait
"Now, what do you call them? Um..."
Kevin Can Wait
"In Holland, we call them kakkerlakken."
Kevin Can Wait
"- Kakkerlakken? - Yeah, kakkerlakken."
Kevin Can Wait
"They come in, and they go..."
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh, like termites?"
Kevin Can Wait
"No. No, no, no."
Kevin Can Wait
"Crickets. He's talking about crickets."
Kevin Can Wait
"No crickets, no crickets."
Kevin Can Wait
"Kakkerlakken. Oh, okay."
Kevin Can Wait
"Kakkerlakken."
Kevin Can Wait
"- Kakkerlakken! - Oh, kakkerlakken!"
Kevin Can Wait
"- All right. - I'll see you tonight."
Kevin Can Wait
"- Okay. - All right!"
Kevin Can Wait
"Don't worry, sweetheart. It's not gonna take long. I promise."
Kevin Can Wait
"And then tomorrow night, I will be back"
Kevin Can Wait
"and I will hang out with Stuart Borington."
Kevin Can Wait
"Stop calling him that, because you say it like a joke,"
Kevin Can Wait
"and it's gonna slip out when he's here."
Kevin Can Wait
"I mean, do I need to remind you about"
Kevin Can Wait
"that wonderful Thanksgiving we spent with my Aunt Skanky?"
Kevin Can Wait
"She earned that nickname."
Kevin Can Wait
"So, I'm riding through this castle"
Kevin Can Wait
"on the back of a velvet camel,"
Kevin Can Wait
"but we're moving super-slow"
Kevin Can Wait
"because the floors are made of yogurt."
Kevin Can Wait
"Wow."
Kevin Can Wait
"That is quite the dream right there."
Kevin Can Wait
"You know what... It's actually time for me"
Kevin Can Wait
"to get on my velvet camel,"
Kevin Can Wait
"'cause I got to go out and fight some crime."
Kevin Can Wait
"Uh, we have a little problem in the neighborhood."
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh, that's terrible!"
Kevin Can Wait
"- What?! - Yes."
Kevin Can Wait
"The FBI came, there were helicopters,"
Kevin Can Wait
"this big shootout."
Kevin Can Wait
"A couple people died!"
Kevin Can Wait
"So, what's going on here?"
Kevin Can Wait
"It's kind of a, uh, it's a mailbox situation."
Kevin Can Wait
"All right, uh, I'll see you guys later, then."
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh, no. One sec, Kev."
Kevin Can Wait
"Before you leave, I kind of wanted to tell you about"
Kevin Can Wait
"Whoop! That's my phone vibrating."
Kevin Can Wait
"- That's a call to action right there. - Okay."
Kevin Can Wait
"- It's on the table, honey. - Yep."
Kevin Can Wait
"Saw it moving."
Kevin Can Wait
"Hey! Chale. Uh, this is Stuart."
Kevin Can Wait
"He's got a great story for you about luggage."
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh. And you know what?"
Kevin Can Wait
"This is a great time to show you"
Kevin Can Wait
"the bathroom we wanted to remodel."
Kevin Can Wait
"Great!"
Kevin Can Wait
"Do you keep a dream journal?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Man, these goggles are unbelievable!"
Kevin Can Wait
"I have the vision of a barn owl."
Kevin Can Wait
"All right, so, what's the plan here?"
Kevin Can Wait
"If they see us, we'll scare them off, all right?"
Kevin Can Wait
"I've set up the new mailbox."
Kevin Can Wait
"Now we just got to wait for the kakkerlakken to take the bait."
Kevin Can Wait
"I like it!"
Kevin Can Wait
"- And dead. - Mm-hmm."
Kevin Can Wait
"Is that Dawson?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Gable?"
Kevin Can Wait
"What are you guys doing?"
Kevin Can Wait
"It is when I get a complaint about four creepy guys"
Kevin Can Wait
"sitting in a car with binoculars."
Kevin Can Wait
"Night-vision goggles."
Kevin Can Wait
"And I can see your tonsils."
Kevin Can Wait
"Wait. Are you guys on, like, some sort of stakeout?"
Kevin Can Wait
"That is adorable."
Kevin Can Wait
"We didn't want to bother you guys with it,"
Kevin Can Wait
"so we thought we'd handle it ourselves."
Kevin Can Wait
"Man, I heard about the retired guys missing the action,"
Kevin Can Wait
"Why don't you guys go get, like, a hobby or something?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Guys, let's keep the weirdness to a minimum."
Kevin Can Wait
"Okay."
Kevin Can Wait
"Just four old guys sitting in a car."
Kevin Can Wait
"Come on, he's right. This is ridiculous!"
Kevin Can Wait
"- let's go out and look for him. - Yeah!"
Kevin Can Wait
"Hold some phones."
Kevin Can Wait
"Here comes a kid on a bike."
Kevin Can Wait
"Is that a golf club?"
Kevin Can Wait
"That's our guy. Let's go!"
Kevin Can Wait
"Whoa, whoa, wait. Let's just take a minute, all right?"
Kevin Can Wait
"What do you mean?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Let's kick him off the bike,"
Kevin Can Wait
"hold him down till we get some answers."
Kevin Can Wait
"Wait, wait, wait! Guys, guys, it's not him."
Kevin Can Wait
"I did."
Kevin Can Wait
"Honestly..."
Kevin Can Wait
"So, you knock down your own mailbox"
Kevin Can Wait
"and start up a neighborhood watch"
Kevin Can Wait
"to avoid hanging out with Donna's annoying relatives?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Sick or brilliant?"
Kevin Can Wait
"I came up with the greatest escape plan ever."
Kevin Can Wait
"'Cause you're part of the illusion."
Kevin Can Wait
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