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Clips from American Horror Story - Birth (S01E01)

"I always meant to use it in the powder room downstairs."
American Horror Story
"I'm gonna paint those old cribs too."
American Horror Story
"Really? Red cribs?"
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"Uh, Chad?"
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"What did we talk about?"
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"[ Inhales ]"
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""Our" babies, not "my" babies."
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"You know what? I can live with a red crib."
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"It might actually be kind of fabulous."
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"You are so adorable when you're happy."
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"- [ Chuckling ] - [ Door Opens ]"
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"Who asked you to decorate the nursery?"
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"Let me break it down for you, sweetheart."
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"This is our house, and we're having twins."
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"Who's your surrogate? One of those nurses in the basement?"
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"No. No."
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"A very, very human surrogate, Elvira."
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"Your lovely mother."
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"You think you're gonna steal those twins?"
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"You pathetic homos couldn't steal the shit out of your own ass."
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"[ Chuckling ]"
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"You know what? It doesn't matter."
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"As soon as my parents get back, we're leaving here."
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"They're leaving."
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"So knock yourselves out."
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"Honey, your parents aren't going anywhere..."
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"as long as you're stuck here."
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"[ Pat ] And don't you get all snotty, little sister."
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"You'll be begging to babysit. As big as this place is, it does get very, very lonely."
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"It could get ugly though."
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"Were you a C-section?"
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"Is there an existing zipper we might use?"
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"Watch it, you goddamn queen."
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"Oh, I am quaking in my loafers."
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"What are you gonna do?"
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"Murder me?"
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"[ Door Opens ]"
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"My Brown Betty turns to Black Betty in 20 minutes."
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"So tell me what this is all about."
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"I need help."
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"Do you remember those two guys that lived here before us?"
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"[ Chuckles ] Frick and Frack? How could I forget?"
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"Well, they're upstairs, and they're planning to kidnap my mother's babies..."
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"and raise them themselves."
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"Well, let me assure you."
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"That is never going to happen."
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"My mom's on her way back from the hospital today."
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"And I don't trust them."
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"I called 'cause I want to talk to that woman. The Craigslist psychic."
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"Billie Dean? About what?"
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"Getting rid of ghosts. There must be a way."
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"[ Sighs ]"
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"Don't worry. I'll take care of it."
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"Chad? Chad?"
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"Come out, come out, wherever you are."
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"♪♪ [ Music Box]"
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"[ Sizzles ]"
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"Put your skanky claw on that crib..."
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"you'll be pulling away a bloody stump."
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"Where did you find these things?"
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"Around."
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"You'd be amazed at the little forgotten treasures..."
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"left behind by previous occupants."
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"Deodorant's unnatural, but it's a public good."
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"We'll make excellent parents."
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"Man shall not lie with man."
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"It is an abomination."
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"So's that hairdo, but I figure that's your business."
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"Why can't you people just content yourself with having pets?"
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"Why must you subject an innocent child to your perversions?"
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"There's nothing in the studies..."
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"that indicates being raised by a same-sex couple..."
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"has any ill effects on children."
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"I assume the same applies to the formerly living."
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"Well, the only study I know is the study of blood and pain."
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"My children came out of my body..."
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"and that is something that you will never be able to understand."
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"[ Chuckles ] Lady, just because you happen to be..."
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"the hole they crawled out of doesn't mean a goddamn thing."
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"- It means everything. - Right. Sure."
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"That's why I can't even walk through my own home..."
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"without tripping over one of your dead offspring."
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"- I loved my children. - To death."
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"and I will not have you put your filthy hands on my grandchild."
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"Grandchild?"
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"Wait a minute."
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"Are you telling me that Norman Bates Jr. is the baby daddy?"
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"[ Chuckling ] You gotta love this house."
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"Listen to me. You can have the other one."
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"The one fathered by Dr. Harmon."
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"I mean, he's an attractive man."
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"But not my grandbaby."
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"It's perfect."
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"No."
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"We definitely need both."
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"God, you're vile."
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"You're not suited to raise children."
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"Raise them?"
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"Oh, honey, no, no, no."
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"We're going to wait till they reach that perfect, adorable age-"
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"around a year, year and a half or so-"
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"and then we're going to smother them with hypoallergenic pillows."
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"That way, they'll be cute forever."
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"♪♪ [ Music Box]"
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"[ Billie ] So much pain here."
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"So much longing and regret."
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"Fear."
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"Sadness."
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"Guilt."
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"And perversion."
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"Now, can you ferret out the fairies for us?"
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"I mean, that's our main concern at the moment."
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"Targeting a particular spirit is going to be difficult."
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"This is a very crowded house."
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"[Billie] You were so young."
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"I'm so sorry."
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"[ Violet] Oh, God."
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"Please don't tell. They can't know."
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"So what can we do?"
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"Somehow, we have to try and dislodge them..."
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