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Clips from One Day at a Time - No Mass (S01E01)

"- Good morning. - Morning."
One Day at a Time
"Ah."
One Day at a Time
"Gracias very much."
One Day at a Time
"You can probably dump that whole thing on there."
One Day at a Time
"I am so glad to be here."
One Day at a Time
"I'm doing my history project with her."
One Day at a Time
"Ah."
One Day at a Time
"- Again? - I know, okay, I'll tell it."
One Day at a Time
"So, there is the floor and... slip."
One Day at a Time
"I've been workin' so much, I'm missing all the scoops..."
One Day at a Time
"Your mom's kind of mean. I'm obsessed with her."
One Day at a Time
"I don't understand why you waste good money on that."
One Day at a Time
"You seem to have forgot. Sunday morning is for church."
One Day at a Time
"Mami, it's okay if we miss it one time. It's not gonna kill us."
One Day at a Time
"and I'm gonna put my foot down and say this Sunday we're not going to church."
One Day at a Time
"We are going and that is the end of it. Ya!"
One Day at a Time
"I'm with mom. We don't need to go to church."
One Day at a Time
"We're going."
One Day at a Time
"No, we are not!"
One Day at a Time
"because I cannot believe we're having this discussion!"
One Day at a Time
"We are a family, damn it!"
One Day at a Time
"Where's breakfast?"
One Day at a Time
"Where are my pants?"
One Day at a Time
"Where are Alex's pants?"
One Day at a Time
"Kids..."
One Day at a Time
"Schneider, have you seen my mom?"
One Day at a Time
"What were you thinking, chasin' that woman away?"
One Day at a Time
"You're so sensitive."
One Day at a Time
"Anything to draw attention to the fact that she's wounded and nearby."
One Day at a Time
"She's also turning my apartment into the sistine chapel."
One Day at a Time
"Wait, hold on."
One Day at a Time
"I know who Carmen is. She's the ghost who ate all my chicken."
One Day at a Time
"Hi, Ms. Alvarez."
One Day at a Time
"- And now you're off speaker. - Schneider!"
One Day at a Time
"Stick girl is still up there."
One Day at a Time
"- Any idea where she could be? - No, none."
One Day at a Time
"Huh..."
One Day at a Time
"But we need to answer the question."
One Day at a Time
"So, you just assumed I was here?"
One Day at a Time
"Still... you shouldn't stereotype."
One Day at a Time
"- Ah-ah! - Oh!"
One Day at a Time
"Schneider set it up. I think it's free."
One Day at a Time
"because you-know-who just put in new batteries."
One Day at a Time
"And, you know, soon they're gonna be out of the house."
One Day at a Time
"I just... I need you to give me more space to parent."
One Day at a Time
"Problem was, we hated onions."
One Day at a Time
"The next week, dead."
One Day at a Time
"I'm really not. We need you."
One Day at a Time
"Shall we?"
One Day at a Time
"Yes."
One Day at a Time
"Maybe ever again."
One Day at a Time
"- please! - You go on."
One Day at a Time
"It's been weird."
One Day at a Time
"- What? - No, no!"
One Day at a Time
"Um, church."
One Day at a Time
"I can't wait to have eaten it."
One Day at a Time
"Well, I'm competing with perfection here."
One Day at a Time
"We have all kinds of arguments in my family."
One Day at a Time
"I have two brothers. One's a priest, one's a witch, so..."
One Day at a Time
"I am... really glad I'm getting to know you better, Carmen."
One Day at a Time
"I am so glad you're home."
One Day at a Time
"I was wilting under the pressure to be you."
One Day at a Time
"So, I guess you want to take my grandchildren to hell with you."
One Day at a Time
"Okay, can we agree that if there is a god,"
One Day at a Time
"If he were a woman, there would be less problems."
One Day at a Time
"He kept you safe."
One Day at a Time
"and I prayed that he would keep you safe."
One Day at a Time
"Ay, Sí. All those years putting up with birdie,"
One Day at a Time
"Look..."
One Day at a Time
"I wear it because you gave it to me."
One Day at a Time
"Okay."
One Day at a Time
""please, god, don't let Elena come home with a face tattoo.""
One Day at a Time
"- Good morning. - Morning."
One Day at a Time
"You're amazing."
One Day at a Time
"I know."
One Day at a Time
"Mami, we already have crosses everywhere."
One Day at a Time
"Do we really need a pope on the fridge?"
One Day at a Time
"Oh, yes, because he is so inspiring."
One Day at a Time
"You walk in to get a yogurt, you see him..."
One Day at a Time
"Hola, papa."
One Day at a Time
"Well, why don't you put the pope in your room and go smile in there?"
One Day at a Time
"I already have two popes in my room."
One Day at a Time
"Oh."
One Day at a Time
"Oh, what's that, papa?"
One Day at a Time
"Next time."
One Day at a Time
"Hi!"
One Day at a Time
"Welcome home, lupita."
One Day at a Time
"We are almost done, but there is plenty left."
One Day at a Time
"Aw."
One Day at a Time
"Dinner with my entire family... And Schneider."
One Day at a Time
"Yes, I invited him again. He's an orphan."
One Day at a Time
"Do orphans always have rich dads who buy them buildings?"
One Day at a Time
"Hey, I may have money in the bank and two living parents,"
One Day at a Time
"and four living stepmothers..."
One Day at a Time
"But there is a hole in here."
One Day at a Time
"We never had family meals. I ate alone in front of the TV."
One Day at a Time
"Ay, pobrecito Schneider."
One Day at a Time
"Oh, don't get me wrong. It was a massive TV."
One Day at a Time
"Sometimes my nanny would join me, but only if I agreed to watch telenovelas."
One Day at a Time
"Ooh, those are so over the top."
One Day at a Time
"Right? This one time, Rosa got jealous of the housekeeper"
One Day at a Time
"'cause she was makin' a move on her man,"
One Day at a Time
"so she threatened to throw live scorpions on her while she slept."
One Day at a Time
"Sounds good. Which one was that?"
One Day at a Time
"Ex-nanny. Now, stepmother."
One Day at a Time
"I'm just glad to be home with everybody."
One Day at a Time
"Who the hell are you?"
One Day at a Time
"This is Carmen, my best friend."
One Day at a Time
"These all sound like things I should know."
One Day at a Time
"Hi, Carmen."
One Day at a Time
"Hi."
One Day at a Time
"I'm Penelope."
One Day at a Time
"Kind of a big deal around here."
One Day at a Time
"So, uh, what's this history project you're working on?"
One Day at a Time
"And then maybe later you can show me how to turn into a bat."
One Day at a Time
"Well, we just got done explaining the whole thing."
One Day at a Time
"Oh, come on, mija, I missed it."
One Day at a Time
"Oh, no, wait, wait, wait."
One Day at a Time
"Alex, tell your mother that funny story that happened in chemistry class."
One Day at a Time
"Oh, that Dylan."
One Day at a Time
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