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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Kimmy Goes to a Play! (S02E02)

"Congratulations!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"A chocolate fountain?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"How much drinks can you drink from it?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I also do nudes."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Why are they haunting Pac-Man?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What did he do to them?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"His eyes are open,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Please, Kimbrella."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This is why we have the Kimmy Time system..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"So we can talk about more important things,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"like Titus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I hear he has news."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Now that I'm no longer legally dead,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"People drop some really cool stuff under there."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I just don't know what to spend all this money on."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"How about rent, utilities?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Unicorns, leprechauns."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"but you have to use this money for something that matters,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"like... that."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"DJs?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ew. No."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Their poor parents."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I want you to put on a show."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yes."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I am in the midst of a personal renaissance..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"My finances, my love life,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"my eyebrow game."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Maybe it's a play about aliens who come to Earth,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"they're gonna need to start dancing."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"A one-man show,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"about the most scintillating subject on God's gray earth."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- You? - No, baby girl."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Me. - Great."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"A performance space?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Cool kick, Lillian."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This neighborhood is changing,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And they painted over the neighborhood mural of Biggie."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Now how are we supposed to remember he's dead?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Why would anyone bother to paint a wall in this neighborhood?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yesterday, this happened."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Twenty-four hours and not one graffito."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Sorry, guys."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Jacqueline needs me to get the duck over here,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"so I've got to figure out where to get one."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Central Park."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"So young."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Sorry, Ms. White."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I went to get a duck,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Whoa. Look at this place."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Like the 60 Minutes theme song."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Here, I'll help unpack."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Are those empty?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I don't actually own anything."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But for a few months,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I could pretend to be dealing with the decorator"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"or waiting for the wall hangings to get out of Syria."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"These sanctions are killing me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But you're doing construction?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That's to make it look like this..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"goes on for another 5,000 square feet."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Whoa. Is that an air mattress?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No. Bad dog!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Look what you've done!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Bad dog!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, it's okay."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's just a little bit of dirt."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This rug cost $30,000."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh! I'm sorry, rug."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Speaking of money, Ms. White,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"do you think maybe you could start paying me again?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Pay you? No, Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Stop sleeping on that side of your face."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, I picked up all your old mail."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I missed a shift at the Christmas store waiting in line."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Mm."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Blimp Aficionado."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, are they getting married on the same day?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's disgusting, but it keeps the money in the family,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I can't go to that without a date."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yeah, you're gonna be dating again."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And we'll get to have breakfast lunches"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"where we talk about boys, 'cause that's what friends do."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Kimmy, can you be a friend and run back home?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Wait. So those weren't spiders?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Then what was biting me?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"How's the one-man show coming?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Are you up to the part where you meet me?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Like..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Who's that Kimmy knockin' on my door? ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Eatin' pickle chicken on the hospital floor ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No, I'm not doing that show anymore."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What? You're giving up already?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I realized the one-man show about my life has been done."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Small-town boy moves to the big city"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"to come out of the closet and become a star?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Rick from work, my old trick Fabian,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Coriolanus Burt."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Damn it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Touchdown!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ha-ha!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"was the score..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ To a Broadway show ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"So what? Yours will be better."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It certainly will,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"As you know, I vividly remember all my past lives."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Alphonse, who almost invented the raisin."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And Napoleon, a very sick parrot."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- No pug dogs? - For the last time, no!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But none of my past selves"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"were more talented or more troubled"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"than the Japanese geisha Murasaki."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You're playing a Japanese woman?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"then I guess it's okay."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm gonna start workshopping it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Wow, I'll be in the front row."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Probably. I'm a sweater."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Now I just need to get posters printed and buy a new kimono."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What's wrong with all your other kimonos?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"A person can outgrow a kimono. It happens all the time."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"They don't fit anymore. You happy now?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
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