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Clips from Will & Grace - Secrets and Lays (S01E01)

"and you get all caught up in it. and you know it's stupid."
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"but you don't realize just how stupid"
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"it really is until after?"
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"had sex."
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"No-no-no. don't tell me."
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"except for my brother. Um..."
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"- Oh my God. - Oh. Will. God--"
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"Oh my God! It wasn't the party!"
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""Excuse me. sir. Are these blueberries fresh?""
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"- It isn't? - No. It's--"
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"He's quoting Nietzsche."
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"Does it make him pretentious or maybe just intense and smart?"
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"I'll fire off a quote from Joan Lunden's autobiography."
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"see if that scares him off."
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"Should I do that? I mean. he's a dentist."
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"Sorry. you were in the middle of--"
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"It's okay. We can talk about it later."
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"Oh. I'm totally interested. I'm just kind of into this right now."
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"Look. the Jacobs had to cancel this morning."
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"so I've rescheduled for tomorrow afternoon."
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"and make sure that they don't need any--"
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"- What? - You had sex."
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"What? How did you--"
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"Is this out on video? I don't understand."
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"How does everybody know?"
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"Well. every poker player has a tell."
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"And uh. speaking of poker. who was it. huh?"
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"Yeah."
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"All right. I'm going out for coffee."
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"Yeah. bring me back one of those sweet rolls in the hay."
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"Not a word to anyone."
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"Fine. honey. Whatever."
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"- God. I won't say a word. - Swear."
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"Swear on your mother's--"
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"Swear on your jewelry."
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"Good morning. starshine."
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"Do you know what that is in gay years?"
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"What's with the cap? Was your hair doin' a dippity-don't?"
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"And if I hadn't deadened my frown lines with Botox."
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"I'm 30 years old and I've done nothing with my life."
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"jack."
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"Karen. we're talking about my future happiness here."
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"If something tragic or depraved happened to someone else. I want to hear it."
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"Well. do something to break that promise."
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"I don't know. act it out or something."
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"Oh. honey."
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"- Sounds like? - Uh..."
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"Face! Sounds like face!"
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"No. come on."
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"Okay. okay."
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"- Grace! - Yes!"
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"- All right. second word. - Uh-- okay. wait."
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"Oh. this is tough."
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"I dunno how to-- Um-- okay. Sam."
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"Grace had sex with Sam?!"
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"Have you been seeing anybody?"
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"Um. actually. I am."
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"- I have. - Hey. good for you."
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"Well. tell me about it. What does she do?"
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"What does she look like?"
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"Does she have strong thighs and broad shoulders?"
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"Oh. Sam? Hi."
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"- Hey. Grace. - I'm glad you're back."
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"Date who you want. sleep with who you want."
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"So. Grace. you never told me who this guy was."
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"- We'll talk later. - Okay."
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"'cause you've been with somebody and Sam's been with somebody."
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"I don't believe this."
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"- How could you do this? - In general. or in this situation?"
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"- It was an accident. - An accident?"
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"How does that work? With. "Oh. sorry. I slipped and fell."
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"Over and over and over again.""
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"Will. I know this is a little weird--"
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"You just come back into my life and take whatever you want. Nothing's changed."
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"You wanted the big bedroom. you took that."
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"You wanted Dad's old car. so you took that. too."
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"Oh. really? Just one time?"
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"- Actually. two times. one night. - Ugh--"
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"That you'll stay out of my room and away from my toys."
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"Whoa!"
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"Tell me. Will. where do the batteries go?"
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"No. wait. You're angry. Don't answer that."
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"Will. Will."
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"I said I am sorry."
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"You don't have to get all possessive and controlling. okay?"
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"I'm not possessive and I'm not controlling."
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"I've been living my life under the illusion"
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"Yeah? And you betrayed me."
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"Can you believe that? "She's mine"?"
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"Like he owns me. Who died and made him the Sultan of Brunei?"
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"Honey. what's goin' on with your hair?"
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"Looks like you got mousse and squirrel in there."
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"I think you're dealing with the wrong issue."
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"Okay. okay."
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"So maybe the timing was bad. maybe it never--"
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"Shh."
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"Um..."
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"I think you went with Sam because he's the Will that'll touch your boobies."
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"You think I slept with Sam because he's the straight version of Will?"
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"That's ridiculous."
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"Karen. Karen."
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"- I slept with Sam because he's cute; - Like Will."
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"- And smart; - Like Will."
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"- And funny; - Like... you think Will is."
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"Stop it!"
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"This had nothing to do with Will."
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"Honey. I am not judging you."
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"Every woman likes to have her boobies touched now and then. right?"
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"Now. you could not be more wrong."
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"You have lost your mind."
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"You live a very odd life."
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"I don't know what-- Who are you?"
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"Klaus von Puppy is clean and housebroken. thank you very much."
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"I got eyes to see. ears to listen with and a head to nod knowingly."
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"and just take whatever he wants. And expect me to be happy for them."
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"Yes."
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"I think it's a little different between Grace and me"
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"I tell him when he eats. when he goes out."
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"just like you and Grace."
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"I know I don't own Grace."
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