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Clips from Will & Grace - Secrets and Lays (S01E01)

"I had to wash my face."
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"He's in full Greta Garbo mode."
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"the tear-stained marabou nightgown."
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"Why did you come back?"
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"With the right treat on the end. Jack can jump like three feet."
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"Jump. Jack. Jump."
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"Oh. I was just dreaming."
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"It was. uh. it was surreal."
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"Um. I was..."
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"- Hey. - Hey."
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"and picked you up three different things with "hucch" in them."
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"Okay. Umm..."
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"Oh. um..."
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""Hot Lawyer" was already taken."
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"Is there something you wanted to tell me?"
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"Yes. there is."
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"Okay. okay."
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"Sure. That's how "Footloose." the musical. got made."
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"- You had sex! - No!"
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"Last night was the party-- that was all gay men."
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"It's the produce guy from Balducci's."
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"- What? No. no. - Don't lie to me."
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"I've seen you flirt with him."
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"Oh my God."
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"Oh. no. no. no. no."
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"It's cool. We'll talk later. I'm going to Balducci's."
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"The produce guy. Oh. you already did that."
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"I am going before you figure out every detail of what happened last night."
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"Oh. honey. come on."
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"There is no possible way I could know every detail."
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"- Not a word. - Oh."
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"It's over. I'm gone. Goodnight. Buh-bye."
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"Karen. I'm in mourning for my life."
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"Just..."
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"Honey?"
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"Oh! Oh! Ugh! Devil!"
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"Oh. honey. I can't tell you. I swore I wouldn't say a word."
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"- No. it's charades! - Oh. okay. okay."
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"- Yeah. - First word."
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"Head? Uh. eyes. nose. a face."
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"Base. case. dase. jase. wase. nase?"
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"- Uh. place... space? - No."
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"Oh. Lord."
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"Oh. hold on."
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"- Uh. okay. - Third word."
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"Sam! Oh my God!"
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"I'm young again. I'm young again. I'm young again!"
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"And is that even something you look for. or is that just me?"
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"I need a second opinion."
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"Am I crazy? I mean. is this a bad idea?"
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"No matter who it is."
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"I tried. I failed. You have to tell him."
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"Hopefully my date works out and I can catch up with you two."
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"- Don't joke. - Will. Will. I am so sorry."
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"Grace. you're right. Maybe we shouldn't tell him."
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"- Excuse me? - It was just one night."
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"Your toys?"
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"I'm your toy?"
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"It's just that Sam..."
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"can't have you. 'cause you're mine!"
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"Oh. stupid me."
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"You're blowing this out of proportion."
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"And the fact that you don't understand where I'm coming from..."
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"just makes it worse."
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"I think that went well."
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"If you'd like to know what I think."
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"How do I put this delicately?"
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"What are you telling me?"
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"Stop saying "boobies." Okay. okay?"
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"Hey. no muddy paws and no surprises on the carpet."
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"I wasn't talking about the dog."
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"And here you are working on the toughest case of all. Will versus Life."
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"It just pisses me off that he thinks he can come into my life"
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"- Well. I'm not. - Well. you shouldn't be."
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"- She's yours. - Thank you."
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"So many relationships I've been in have ended"
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"because the other person didn't realize that they belonged to me."
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"No. it's not. Owning is owning. You own Grace."
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"who he sniffs and when he needs a pedicure."
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"That's not what I meant. You know. I--"
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"Let me go out on a limb and say one more thing."
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"Clearly. you wish you were the one who was sleeping with her."
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"Come on. admit it."
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"I don't either. Jack. And one day. I'll teach you those words."
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"Maybe not of the icky sex part."
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"but of the fact that your brother shares a part of Grace that you never will."
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"Some exercise."
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"And you. just date whoever you want."
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"You Have A Drinking Problem.""
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"- You okay? - Yeah."
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"Yeah. I am."
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"- I don't think so. - Tonight or ever. right?"
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"It's just too weird."
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"Okay. I guess I'll go then."
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"Hmm?"
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"He said I was jealous of Sam"
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"because he gets to sleep with you and I can't."
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"I thought you were gonna clean up."
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"and I didn't want to do it with dirty hands."
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"- I thought you were at Jack's. - Ugh. I was just there."
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"Back of the hand on the forehead."
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"He wanted me to pick up one of his birthday gifts."
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"Oh. here it is."
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"That'll cheer him up."
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"- You're all flushed. - Huh? Oh."
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"and l... you know. turned into a chicken."
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"I'm gonna go back to Jack's. and I will be very late."
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"- Okay. - Okay."
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"Is it wrong that I feel so good in this?"
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"Who loves you?"
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"Grace Adler does."
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"because she stopped by Mendel's Kosher Bakery"
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"My favorite. phlegm cakes."
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"Just put mine in the kitchen. thank you."
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"- Will. I really need to talk-- - Wait. hold on."
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"I'm chatting with this dentist."
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"and he wants to know what celebrity I look like."
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"Hmm. Who's "Hat Lawyer?""
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"Yes. Yes."
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"how sometimes you do something."
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