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Clips from One Day at a Time - The Death of Mrs. Resnick (S01E01)

"without any of the wetness."
One Day at a Time
"You should've seen Schneider. The other parents were obsessed."
One Day at a Time
"Connie merkelson told me she's never seen"
One Day at a Time
"anybody slice apples with such grace."
One Day at a Time
"Not gonna lie, she was throwing me some red hot heat."
One Day at a Time
"Connie merkelson is a gay lady."
One Day at a Time
"Okay, but with Connie..."
One Day at a Time
"I think she might walk both sides of the street."
One Day at a Time
"Tomorrow I'm gonna buy a car, and so that I don't get screwed,"
One Day at a Time
"You're older than me."
One Day at a Time
"I was gonna say husband."
One Day at a Time
"Oh! A may-December thing."
One Day at a Time
"Gross, but okay."
One Day at a Time
"- What's our play? - You don't talk."
One Day at a Time
"- Arm candy. I hear ya. - Yeah."
One Day at a Time
"I'm just gonna walk up to that salesman, I'm gonna look him in the eye"
One Day at a Time
"and I'm gonna say, "here's what's up.""
One Day at a Time
"You're gonna sell me a 2012 Pre-owned Honda cr-v,"
One Day at a Time
"low mileage, no upsell, for the bluebook price,"
One Day at a Time
"You're comin' on way too strong."
One Day at a Time
"No, I gotta be tough. They gotta see that I ain't no punk."
One Day at a Time
"Hey, they also gotta see that you didn't just get out of a women's prison."
One Day at a Time
"For example, I have my own little secret weapon."
One Day at a Time
"Guess who just got a large latte for the price of a small?"
One Day at a Time
"not impress a white girl with dreadlocks who likes flat asses."
One Day at a Time
"I'm just saying, I got tricks to get people on my side."
One Day at a Time
"What are you bringing to the table?"
One Day at a Time
"Hey! I earned this guilt."
One Day at a Time
"But, yeah, I kinda feel sorry for the salesman."
One Day at a Time
"Beautiful lady veteran, you're gonna own this guy."
One Day at a Time
"I'm Jill."
One Day at a Time
"Can I answer any questions for you?"
One Day at a Time
"I got this!"
One Day at a Time
"Whoopsie!"
One Day at a Time
"Damn it, that's a montblanc!"
One Day at a Time
"Oh, yeah..."
One Day at a Time
"I married him for his flat ass."
One Day at a Time
"- Yes, I was an army medic in Afghanistan. - Yeah..."
One Day at a Time
"I sustained a shoulder injury in the field."
One Day at a Time
"It was a difficult time, but I'm proud to serve my country."
One Day at a Time
"- I hear what you're saying. - Thank you."
One Day at a Time
"I was a driver and gunner in Baghdad."
One Day at a Time
"Hooah."
One Day at a Time
"Pardon me a second."
One Day at a Time
"Hey, Michaels, step away from the donuts."
One Day at a Time
"The customers need them and you definitely don't."
One Day at a Time
"She's more badass than I am."
One Day at a Time
"Anyway, this Honda cr-v is an lx. It's got low mileage."
One Day at a Time
"Five-star safety rating, abs..."
One Day at a Time
"because it has smaller wheels and no fog lights,"
One Day at a Time
"'cause I ain't no punk! Oh, I'm sorry."
One Day at a Time
"Somebody's been doing their research."
One Day at a Time
"I tell it like it is."
One Day at a Time
"Then why are you lyin' about that guy being your husband?"
One Day at a Time
"What, what?"
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"Come on! You served in the army!"
One Day at a Time
"You've trained to rappel out of helicopters."
One Day at a Time
"And you're gonna tell me that you're married to that haircut?"
One Day at a Time
"Do you guys have one of those grabber claw thingies?"
One Day at a Time
"We're not married, I'm sorry."
One Day at a Time
"It's just that my real husband and I are actually separated"
One Day at a Time
"and this is my first big purchase without him."
One Day at a Time
"There's no reason you and I can't figure this out, just the two of us."
One Day at a Time
"Oh, god. Spider."
One Day at a Time
"Spider!"
One Day at a Time
"So, mi niña..."
One Day at a Time
"Oh, which one did you take?"
One Day at a Time
"Uh, the 60?"
One Day at a Time
"That goes to Vernon?"
One Day at a Time
"I once saw a woman rip the weave off another woman over a leg of lamb."
One Day at a Time
"It was me."
One Day at a Time
"Well, Vernon's library is much better than ours."
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"My bus driver actually tipped me off."
One Day at a Time
"- Georgie, Miguel or petros? - Petros."
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"Petros only works on weekends."
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"Sorry, it was Miguel."
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"There is no Miguel. I made him up."
One Day at a Time
"What are you doing?"
One Day at a Time
"What are you doing?"
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"Okay! I hate the bus!"
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"I'm a fraud!"
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"I've been lying these past two days."
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"Public transportation is hard."
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"The seats are small, it kind of smells..."
One Day at a Time
"One time, I fell asleep and somebody stole my socks."
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"They left my shoes!"
One Day at a Time
"Mi vida, it's not that bad."
One Day at a Time
"Just yesterday, I took the bus to the farmer's market"
One Day at a Time
"and then I went to collect on some bottles that I had saved."
One Day at a Time
"to shop for locally grown produce and then recycled?"
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"That's like triple fossil fuel savings."
One Day at a Time
"Well, abuelita, I guess you're my new hero."
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"Ah, Elena... I've always been your hero."
One Day at a Time
"Abuelita, what's this?"
One Day at a Time
"That is the flier for my dance classes."
One Day at a Time
"I've been hanging them all over the neighborhood."
One Day at a Time
""Experienced latina will make your body do things you didn't know it could"?"
One Day at a Time
"What? It's true."
One Day at a Time
"Abuelita, it's just the wording is kind of provocative."
One Day at a Time
"Oh, look, I got 58 new messages."
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"Wow! Oh, and I got a customer."
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"His name is Bobby..."
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"I need to get a new phone number."
One Day at a Time
"Congrats on the new car, Alvarez."
One Day at a Time
"Oh, thank you, Riley. I like this last name thing."
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"Brings me back to my old army days."
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"You know, sometimes I'll get in early and hang out with the mechanics"
One Day at a Time
"I have kids."
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"But seriously, though, I feel like I got a really good deal."
One Day at a Time
"Uh, you are a tough negotiator."
One Day at a Time
"In all fairness, you got a pretty great trade-in, girl."
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"I can't believe I gave you 40 bucks for that thing."
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"Hey, it's got a full tank of gas."
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"The fuel Gauge is broken, so you're gonna have to trust me on that."
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"Now, just clear out all your personal effects"
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"and we'll get you squared away."
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"Mrs. resnick."
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"I'm gonna miss you, old lady."
One Day at a Time
"Toni..."
One Day at a Time
"Everything all right?"
One Day at a Time
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