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Clips from Louie (2010) - Dr. Ben / Nick (S01E01)

"This could save your life. Okay, all right."
Louie (2010)
"Come on. All right."
Louie (2010)
"Look, it's not very pleasant, but it's necessary."
Louie (2010)
"Thank you. Ughh. Sorry."
Louie (2010)
"Is that okay? Yeah, that's okay."
Louie (2010)
"How about that? Yeah, that's all right."
Louie (2010)
"What about this? Jesus Christ!"
Louie (2010)
"What? This is serious. What's wrong with you?"
Louie (2010)
"It's serious."
Louie (2010)
"There's no way it's supposed to go in and out."
Louie (2010)
"And it tells me that everything is fine up there."
Louie (2010)
"Jesus. Listen."
Louie (2010)
"I'm still going with AIDS, but let's do some blood work and find out."
Louie (2010)
"My days start poorly because of the shape I'm in."
Louie (2010)
"Because now, also, I'm 42, so I'm getting-- I'm get-- I'm really on the decline."
Louie (2010)
"There's never gonna be another year of my life..."
Louie (2010)
"That's never gonna happen again."
Louie (2010)
"I've seen my best years."
Louie (2010)
"And when I wake up in the morning, I just-- I'm-- I just sit there and I'm like:"
Louie (2010)
"Like, it's an awful way to start your day. Every day starts with me--"
Louie (2010)
"Like, my eyes open and I reload the program of misery."
Louie (2010)
"I just open my eyes, remember who I am..."
Louie (2010)
"...what I'm like..."
Louie (2010)
"...and I go:"
Louie (2010)
""I guess. I guess, just do it. I don't know."
Louie (2010)
"I guess. Oh, my God.""
Louie (2010)
"Somebody called me an Indian giver recently."
Louie (2010)
"I don't know if you've heard that since you were kids..."
Louie (2010)
"...but we used to call each other--"
Louie (2010)
"Indian giver is one of the most offensive things you could ever--"
Louie (2010)
"Because what it's meant to be is that someone gave you something..."
Louie (2010)
"...then changed their minds. That makes you an Indian giver."
Louie (2010)
"And we equate this to the Indians..."
Louie (2010)
"...because our feeling is that they gave us America, and then they--"
Louie (2010)
"...about giving it to us."
Louie (2010)
"It's offensive when you consider the truth..."
Louie (2010)
"...which is that we got here and the Indians were like, "Hi.""
Louie (2010)
"And they were like, "Well, we don't know what 'have' means..."
Louie (2010)
"...but enjoy all the things that you need, like we do.""
Louie (2010)
"So we start killing all of them. And they were like:"
Louie (2010)
""Oh, dude, could you not do that part where you kill all of us?"
Louie (2010)
"And we were like, "You guys are Indian givers. Oh, my God."
Louie (2010)
"We're gonna name that after you. You guys are dicks.""
Louie (2010)
"Anyway, thanks a lot, folks. Good night."
Louie (2010)
"We're gonna keep this show going, gonna bring the next comic up."
Louie (2010)
"How about a hand for the emcee going through chemo, huh? All right."
Louie (2010)
"Poor prick. Skinny, no hair. How are you?"
Louie (2010)
"Okay."
Louie (2010)
"Welcome to the basement of al Qaeda's hideout, and...."
Louie (2010)
"You think I'm kidding? Those aren't Irish guys making your falafel."
Louie (2010)
"I have two tables, all black people, so I know I'm not making no tips."
Louie (2010)
"Are you being serious right now? Yeah, look over there."
Louie (2010)
"No, I mean, are you being seriously that racist?"
Louie (2010)
"What?"
Louie (2010)
"You don't know they're not gonna tip you. Yes, I do."
Louie (2010)
"Because they're black? I've been waiting tables for five years."
Louie (2010)
"I never got a tip from a black person, not once."
Louie (2010)
"First of all, I don't believe you. Second of all, that's still racist."
Louie (2010)
"I am not racist. Screw you."
Louie (2010)
"What are you talking about?"
Louie (2010)
"She says black people don't tip."
Louie (2010)
"Are you nuts? Niggas don't tip. Everyone knows that."
Louie (2010)
"Have you ever waited tables before? No."
Louie (2010)
"Then shut up, asshole."
Louie (2010)
"This is how I know I'm getting old."
Louie (2010)
"I pulled a muscle in my neck..."
Louie (2010)
"...giving my wife the finger behind her back."
Louie (2010)
"We were having a fight, she walked out of the kitchen, I went, ah, like that."
Louie (2010)
"Weird things are happening to my body as I get older."
Louie (2010)
"That didn't happen when I was in high school."
Louie (2010)
"I know most of you guys here voted for Obama..."
Louie (2010)
"...and I don't know ******* why, but...."
Louie (2010)
"Ooh. Listen to that silence, huh?"
Louie (2010)
"Holy shit, I hit you right in the white-guilt muscle, didn't I?"
Louie (2010)
"I mean, can we quit calling Obama the first black president?"
Louie (2010)
"My nipples are darker than Barack Obama."
Louie (2010)
"They're so in love with this guy. Wanna give him his own national holiday."
Louie (2010)
"He hasn't even been shot yet."
Louie (2010)
"This is perfect, they hate my guts. All right."
Louie (2010)
"People are such hypocrites down there."
Louie (2010)
"I'm sure you did better at the Hitler Youth rally."
Louie (2010)
"Ha, ha. Liberal fag. Yeah, okay, Himmler."
Louie (2010)
"Why don't you go eat out Obama's asshole?"
Louie (2010)
"I would. I mean, I'm not gay, but, you know, just to be part of history."
Louie (2010)
"Country's going to shit."
Louie (2010)
"You Republicans are babies. You've had your way for eight years."
Louie (2010)
"Why can't you just give somebody else a try?"
Louie (2010)
"Because it's a bullshit sham, that's why."
Louie (2010)
"Anybody who has the balls to say that out loud is called a Nazi..."
Louie (2010)
"...by deluded assholes like you."
Louie (2010)
"I'm sorry. Can you stop having this conversation?"
Louie (2010)
"When Bush was in office, every time you put on the news..."
Louie (2010)
"...all you saw was black people, gays, liberals..."
Louie (2010)
"...just pissing and moaning at how bad he was."
Louie (2010)
"But now Obama's in there, no one can say shit."
Louie (2010)
"You know, if it's like you say it is and it's your turn..."
Louie (2010)
"...then why don't we get a say in it like you did?"
Louie (2010)
"A white guy doesn't have a voice in this country anymore."
Louie (2010)
"We supposed to feel sorry for white guys?"
Louie (2010)
"What, is 10,000 years of unchecked prosperity not enough for you?"
Louie (2010)
"No, it's not. Give me 20-."
Louie (2010)
"Well, how about 30-? Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"And then you can celebrate with a big parade of soldiers..."
Louie (2010)
"...and have white columns with an eagle, maybe red banners with a white circle..."
Louie (2010)
"...and something like this in the middle? The Nazi thing? That all you got?"
Louie (2010)
"That's why-- It's the same thing. What is it, what?"
Louie (2010)
"It's one group getting what they want over everyone else."
Louie (2010)
"What's wrong with you? What's wrong with you?"
Louie (2010)
"Pretend you're kidding, but you mean it. My father fought those Nazis, okay?"
Louie (2010)
"All right, I won't call you that, you Hitler Nazi piece of shit."
Louie (2010)
"Mother-- Come on. Come on, guys, break it up."
Louie (2010)
"Come on. ******* **** ."
Louie (2010)
"Come on. - Get off me."
Louie (2010)
"Get the **** off me. You cut my hand."
Louie (2010)
"Jeez, man, it looks bad. Yeah, it does, doesn't it?"
Louie (2010)
"Dr. Green, telephone, please."
Louie (2010)
"How long are they gonna make you wait?"
Louie (2010)
"I think the guy they're working on now has a musket wound."
Louie (2010)
"Got blindsided by a Model T. I heard he got stepped on by a dinosaur."
Louie (2010)
"At least you got that dirty jizz rag there seeping germs into your wound."
Louie (2010)
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