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Clips from Seinfeld - The Masseuse (S05E05)

"- So, what do you think? - Really enjoyed it."
Seinfeld
"- Jodi's nice. - She's very nice."
Seinfeld
"Let's discuss this later."
Seinfeld
"You think she liked me? She seemed to like me."
Seinfeld
"- I was personable, don't you think? - You were extremely personable."
Seinfeld
"Because I thought I picked up a little something."
Seinfeld
"I'm very good at this. Did you pick up anything?"
Seinfeld
"- I didn't pick up anything. - The second time I sent noodles back..."
Seinfeld
"...I thought she made a face."
Seinfeld
"I didn't see a face."
Seinfeld
"I thought I saw a face."
Seinfeld
"- What is the difference? - No difference. I could care less."
Seinfeld
"- She's Jerry's girlfriend. - George, instead of talking about this..."
Seinfeld
"...we could be... You know."
Seinfeld
"So you think she liked me?"
Seinfeld
"- What are you doing? - Massaging your neck."
Seinfeld
"Of course. Massaging."
Seinfeld
"Boning up on football?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah. Yeah. You know what?"
Seinfeld
"There are a lot of players named Deion these days."
Seinfeld
"What a cool name, Deion."
Seinfeld
"If I were gonna change my name, I'd go with Deion."
Seinfeld
"Deion Benes?"
Seinfeld
"Well, as a woman, it makes no sense."
Seinfeld
"But I mean... Well, let's say I was you."
Seinfeld
"And I decided I was gonna change my name-"
Seinfeld
"For no real reason whatsoever."
Seinfeld
"Deion Rifkin."
Seinfeld
"That is so cool."
Seinfeld
"Deion Rifkin?"
Seinfeld
"Well, maybe you're not the Deion type."
Seinfeld
"Okay, then let's see, let's see, what do we got? Oh, oh, oh, O.J."
Seinfeld
"O.J. Rifkin. Oh, you don't even use a name. It's just initials."
Seinfeld
"Oh, please, please, change your name to O.J. It would be so great."
Seinfeld
"Elaine, what is going on?"
Seinfeld
"- She stayed over? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- Sex wasn't so good? - No. Sex was fabulous."
Seinfeld
"- So? - I want the massage."
Seinfeld
"- Did you ask her? - I put her hands there."
Seinfeld
"She just pulls it away immediately. She's not into it."
Seinfeld
"- Why not? - I guess because it's her job."
Seinfeld
"It's very frustrating."
Seinfeld
"So we had a good time, the four of us."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. - We all got along."
Seinfeld
"- Everyone seemed very pleasant. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- What did Jodi say? - She had a good time."
Seinfeld
"- Is that it? - Pretty much."
Seinfeld
"She say anything about...?"
Seinfeld
"- What? - No, no. It's all right. Great."
Seinfeld
"She had a good time."
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- You hesitated. - I was blowing on the coffee."
Seinfeld
"She didn't like me."
Seinfeld
"It's not like you'll be spending a lot of time with her."
Seinfeld
"So she doesn't like me?"
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"- She said that? - Yes."
Seinfeld
"- She told you she doesn't like me? - Yes."
Seinfeld
"- What were her exact-? - "I don't like him.""
Seinfeld
"Why didn't she like me?"
Seinfeld
"- Not everybody likes everybody. - I wasn't nice?"
Seinfeld
"- You were very nice. - I bent over backwards for that woman!"
Seinfeld
"- Was it what I said about her sister? - It has nothing to do with her."
Seinfeld
"I don't even know her sister! But if she's getting tickets..."
Seinfeld
"...she's not that good-looking!"
Seinfeld
"You vomited in 1987."
Seinfeld
"Oh, no. That was the dry heaves."
Seinfeld
"- Jodi. - Hi, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"- Hey! - What are you doing here?"
Seinfeld
"- I was giving Kramer a massage. - Kramer."
Seinfeld
"Gotta run, I have an appointment."
Seinfeld
"- Let me take your table. - That's okay."
Seinfeld
"Please. I love to help people."
Seinfeld
"This is what I do. Come on, I'm going this way."
Seinfeld
"I'll see you tonight."
Seinfeld
"Hey! I am looser than creamed corn."
Seinfeld
"Who told you to get a massage? I haven't gotten one from her!"
Seinfeld
"Oh, you don't know what you're missing, buddy."
Seinfeld
"No one hails a cab like me."
Seinfeld
"My hailing technique is unmatched."
Seinfeld
"See, I get the wrist going side to side and:"
Seinfeld
"Cabs are crashing into themselves to just pick me up."
Seinfeld
"All right, here we go. Let me get the door."
Seinfeld
"Feminists aside, I know women like the door-holding."
Seinfeld
"Here we are. Alrighty. Good. Okay."
Seinfeld
"Let's get together again soon."
Seinfeld
"- Say hello to your sister. - You've never met."
Seinfeld
"Whatever. If I wasn't involved right now, I wouldn't mind being set up."
Seinfeld
"Something tells me she's a knockout!"
Seinfeld
"But first, she sets the mood perfectly..."
Seinfeld
"...with this New Age music played over ocean sounds."
Seinfeld
"Then she lays you out on this table."
Seinfeld
"And she proceeds to rub oil over your entire body."
Seinfeld
"And she rubs long and deep."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, she rubs with love."
Seinfeld
"Every muscle she touches just oozes..."
Seinfeld
"...beneath those silky, soft fingers."
Seinfeld
"You can scarcely contain yourself, buddy."
Seinfeld
"- So you had a good time, huh? - Oh, yeah."
Seinfeld
"- Enjoyed yourself? - Very much."
Seinfeld
"All right, now, you listen, and you listen good!"
Seinfeld
"- What? - The massages are out!"
Seinfeld
"- What-? - They're out!"
Seinfeld
"- Why? - If I can't get one, you're not!"
Seinfeld
"Wait a minute. I need my massages. Can't you see I'm burned out?"
Seinfeld
"- I'm sorry, Kramer. - Why, why? Look, I paid for her!"
Seinfeld
"Don't you ever talk about her like that!"
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, but why?! - Final!"
Seinfeld
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Giants Stadium."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, you have photos in your wallet? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- Why, is that weird? - No, it's normal."
Seinfeld
"You're very normal. You're totally normal."
Seinfeld
"- Who's this? - That's my mother."
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah. I see the resemblance."
Seinfeld
"- No, there's no resemblance. - Yeah, there is. Right here-"
Seinfeld
"Elaine, I was adopted."
Seinfeld
"Oh, that's nice."
Seinfeld
"Oh, the game's about to start. I wonder where your friend Kramer is."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, a ticket for Kramer?"
Seinfeld
"- Here it is. I need some ID. - Oh, yeah."
Seinfeld
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