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Clips from Master of None - Hot Ticket (S01E01)

"Great."
Master of None
"It's been two days, dude."
Master of None
"I haven't heard anything from Alice."
Master of None
"What's wrong with people?"
Master of None
"Look, Alice is a worldly woman"
Master of None
"living in the big city."
Master of None
"Maybe she's just busy."
Master of None
"Mm, she's not that busy."
Master of None
"I did a little snooping on her Instagram."
Master of None
"Nice."
Master of None
"She recently posted a video of her popping bubble wrap."
Master of None
"Caption, "I love bubble wrap.""
Master of None
"Fifty-four likes."
Master of None
"That sneaky bitch."
Master of None
"What about this?"
Master of None
"Ladies like honesty, right?"
Master of None
"What if I'm just super honest?"
Master of None
"What if I'm just like,"
Master of None
""Hey, Alice, what the fuck?"
Master of None
"It's been two days. I'm waiting."
Master of None
"What, are you in a mine shaft?"
Master of None
"Let me know about that concert.""
Master of None
"It'd be different."
Master of None
"It-- Very hard for me to imagine a situation"
Master of None
"where she reads that and she has a positive reaction."
Master of None
"Why don't you just do what I do?"
Master of None
"Just send her a question mark."
Master of None
"Like, just a question mark?"
Master of None
"Yep. That's it."
Master of None
"It's like a light check-in."
Master of None
"Nah, buddy, here's the move."
Master of None
"You send her a picture of a turtle"
Master of None
"climbing out of a briefcase."
Master of None
"Then quickly write, "Whoops, sorry, wrong person.""
Master of None
"You'll get an instant response back from her."
Master of None
"It's mysterious, and girls love mystery, brah."
Master of None
"I don't know, it might be a little risky for Alice."
Master of None
"Don't be too quick to dismiss that turtle."
Master of None
"Everyone wants to know what he's up to."
Master of None
"Denise!"
Master of None
"What up, dummies?"
Master of None
"We're debating what I should do"
Master of None
"about this whole Alice situation, you know?"
Master of None
"I texted her about her schedule. It's been two days."
Master of None
"I haven't heard anything back."
Master of None
"So she doesn't like you."
Master of None
"What's the debate?"
Master of None
"I'm confused."
Master of None
"Hey!"
Master of None
"Why you got to be so pessimistic?"
Master of None
"Dude, she ain't text you in two days,"
Master of None
"it means she don't want to go."
Master of None
"This is a very clear and unambiguous situation."
Master of None
"Or-- Or maybe she really likes me and she's nervous."
Master of None
"And she's sitting around with three of her buds"
Master of None
"trying to figure out what to text this guy."
Master of None
"What about that scenario?"
Master of None
"No."
Master of None
"She doesn't like you, man."
Master of None
"Why you got to crush my dreams?"
Master of None
"I think I'm just gonna send a little question mark."
Master of None
"Question mark?"
Master of None
"Did Brian tell you to do that?"
Master of None
"Yeah."
Master of None
"I told you, stop taking advice from him, dude."
Master of None
"Look, it don't matter what he texts these girls."
Master of None
"All girls like his ass."
Master of None
"It's true."
Master of None
"It's just a light check-in."
Master of None
"Just like, "Oh?""
Master of None
"No."
Master of None
"When he does it, it's cute."
Master of None
"If you do it, it's needy and sad."
Master of None
"Well, now I already sent it."
Master of None
"Thanks for your timely advice."
Master of None
"Denise, a query."
Master of None
"What if someone sent you a picture of a turtle"
Master of None
"climbing out of a briefcase?"
Master of None
"Why is a turtle climbing out of a briefcase, Arnold?"
Master of None
""Why?" indeed."
Master of None
"So you heard from your lady?"
Master of None
"No, nothing."
Master of None
"The show's tomorrow."
Master of None
"Fuck that person. She seems so rude."
Master of None
"Oh, I 100% agree. It's totally rude."
Master of None
"But that's just the way people act nowadays."
Master of None
"What do you mean?"
Master of None
"Um, here's a text message exchange"
Master of None
"I had with a girl that I met a few months ago."
Master of None
"All right."
Master of None
""Hey, it's Dev. Good meeting you.""
Master of None
""You too!""
Master of None
""Grab a drink soon?""
Master of None
""Yeah, how about Wednesday?""
Master of None
""Can't Wednesday, maybe Friday?""
Master of None
""Sure!""
Master of None
""Hey, it's Friday."
Master of None
"Should we grab those drinks?""
Master of None
"I never heard from this person again."
Master of None
"Wow. I hated all of that."
Master of None
"You want to hear a sample of texts between me and my wife?"
Master of None
""You want to stay in tonight?""
Master of None
""Yes.""
Master of None
"Fucking paradise."
Master of None
"I've never been so jealous of something that sounds so boring."
Master of None
"I love it."
Master of None
"You know, after work, I'm gonna go home,"
Master of None
"cuddle up with my loving wife and watch three to five hours"
Master of None
"of a critically acclaimed drama, and then go to sleep."
Master of None
"It's amazing."
Master of None
"What are you guys watching?"
Master of None
"Oh, this British show, Sherlock."
Master of None
"- I highly recommend it. - Hmm."
Master of None
"Oh, shit, it's Alice!"
Master of None
"Seriously?"
Master of None
""Sorry, things have been really crazy."
Master of None
"Don't think I can make it tomorrow."
Master of None
"Thanks anyway, XOXO.""
Master of None
"Fuck!"
Master of None
"XOXO, that's good."
Master of None
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