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Clips from The Great North - Skidmark Holmes Adventure (S02E02)

"bright light, gross meat,"
The Great North
"a single bowl of oatmeal, for some reason."
The Great North
"It's unsexy and confusing."
The Great North
"- We did an amazing job."
The Great North
"Who ordered a pair of giant jugs?"
The Great North
"- Oh, God. - I brought chocolate milk."
The Great North
"Yeah! Let's get this party started!"
The Great North
"All right, so I was supposed to be the investigator in the game,"
The Great North
"but I guess I'll just walk us through the steps instead."
The Great North
"Step one is identify any possible suspects."
The Great North
"I know. Maybe it was the people at the pizza place."
The Great North
"Maybe there's a crazy giant who works there,"
The Great North
"pooping and not wiping"
The Great North
"and then putting his underwear--"
The Great North
"or hers-- in boxes."
The Great North
"Let's call."
The Great North
"Thanks for calling"
The Great North
"DeGigantico's Pizza. It's-a too-a big!"
The Great North
"Uh-huh. One sec."
The Great North
"Amelia, did you take the pizza out by Aspen Road?"
The Great North
"Does anyone else work here, Mom?"
The Great North
"Well, they want to know, did you take out the pizza"
The Great North
"and leave a big pair of underwear in the box?"
The Great North
"Nope. Just a regular a-too big-a pizza."
The Great North
"No, my daughter says she didn't leave a big pair of underwear"
The Great North
"in the box, just a regular a-too big-a pizza."
The Great North
"But since you say you didn't get your pizza,"
The Great North
"we'll get a new one to you in 30 minutes."
The Great North
"It's-a bye-bye!"
The Great North
"Well, I guess it wasn't them."
The Great North
"That checks out. When I carried it in,"
The Great North
"it was heavy, like pizza,"
The Great North
"not light, like underwear."
The Great North
"And you can see the grease stains."
The Great North
"The pizza was in here."
The Great North
"So if it wasn't the pizza ladies,"
The Great North
"you know what that means."
The Great North
"It's definitely one of us."
The Great North
"This has Debbie written all over it."
The Great North
"- Ugh. - Just this morning, she called me a smelly skid mark."
The Great North
"- Me too. - And me."
The Great North
"Which I loved."
The Great North
"Makes sense. She's escalating."
The Great North
"Like a serial killer."
The Great North
"I called you all skid marks because that's what you are."
The Great North
"I mean, look at your faces."
The Great North
"Skid mark, skid mark, skid mark."
The Great North
"I don't make the news about your faces-- I just report it."
The Great North
"Stop! We're not getting anywhere accusing each other like this."
The Great North
"We need to move on to the next step,"
The Great North
"examining the physical evidence."
The Great North
"We've already looked at the box."
The Great North
"Now it's time to take a look at everyone's underwear."
The Great North
"I'm just gonna tell you right now,"
The Great North
"mine is a neck-to-ankle Richie Rich onesie"
The Great North
"and I refuse to be ashamed."
The Great North
"You know,"
The Great North
"the steadiest part of the human body is the mouth."
The Great North
"My God."
The Great North
"Say your farewells."
The Great North
"Your dad might die tonight."
The Great North
"Ooh. Maybe I'll try one of these... vegetables."
The Great North
"Oh, no. Did I leave a whole zucchini on that platter?"
The Great North
"Weird."
The Great North
"But not sexual."
The Great North
"- Oh, my. - Oh, no."
The Great North
"- It's working on him. - Ooh!"
The Great North
"Deli meat! I like to bite a hole out of the center"
The Great North
"of the deli slice and lick around the edges."
The Great North
"It's where the good salt is. Mmm."
The Great North
"- Oh, Lord."
The Great North
"Excuse me for one moment."
The Great North
"Okay. So,"
The Great North
"anything and everything she's doing is working on you."
The Great North
"But you can still turn this around."
The Great North
"When you go back in there,"
The Great North
"bring up the least sexy thing you can think of."
The Great North
"I guess I could try."
The Great North
"What if I asked her if she'd like to whittle"
The Great North
"some hardwood sometime?"
The Great North
"- Beef, no. - Yep, I'll think of something else."
The Great North
"Underwear on. Check, check."
The Great North
"Russell. Underwear, please."
The Great North
"Oh. No, thank you."
The Great North
"Russell, we all showed our underwear,"
The Great North
"and I accidentally showed the top of my butt crack."
The Great North
"- For compliments. - Well, it was very long."
The Great North
"Oh, thank you, sweetie."
The Great North
"Okay, okay, fine. You got me."
The Great North
"I'm not wearing underwear!"
The Great North
"I have a clinically claustrophobic wiener!"
The Great North
"It's diagnosed!"
The Great North
"Guys, Russell is too much of a-- how do I put this kindly--"
The Great North
"a doof to pull this off."
The Great North
"Thank you, Henry."
The Great North
"Well, who did it then? We're getting nowhere."
The Great North
"- Oh, God."
The Great North
"Oh, right. The new pizza."
The Great North
"Uh, my mom said you had underwear in your pizza,"
The Great North
"so we, like, legally had to replace it."
The Great North
"But this time I'm opening it in front of you"
The Great North
"and showing you that it's pizza"
The Great North
"and walking it all the way in,"
The Great North
"'cause I'm not driving here again."
The Great North
"Wait, aren't you in our grade?"
The Great North
"Yeah. Amelia. I just started."
The Great North
"My mom used to homeschool me"
The Great North
"because she didn't want me around so many white kids."
The Great North
"But then we got to the trigonometric ratios chapter"
The Great North
"in algebra and she said,"
The Great North
""You know what? I don't need this.""
The Great North
"Now we're talkin'."
The Great North
"Aah! More underwear!"
The Great North
"Aah! The pizza!"
The Great North
"Pepper-oh-no-ni. - We're all gonna die!"
The Great North
"Okay, what in the hell is going on here?"
The Great North
"Someone at this party"
The Great North
"has kidnapped and/or destroyed two pizzas"
The Great North
"and presented us with two pairs of defecated drawers."
The Great North
"Okay, wait, did somebody bring two pairs"
The Great North
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