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Clips from Abbott Elementary - Gifted Program (S01E01)

"- They said it's just a pedicure. - That's not what Dr. Oz said."
Abbott Elementary
"There she is."
Abbott Elementary
"You know, I look forward to every Thursday,"
Abbott Elementary
"and it's not just about restocking half-full Funyuns."
Abbott Elementary
""Half-full." The man's an optimist."
Abbott Elementary
"So, uh, what's your deal, Gary? You got dreams or..."
Abbott Elementary
"I own and operate a vending-machine business."
Abbott Elementary
"I'm living it."
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"Yes to living your dreams."
Abbott Elementary
"So, remember how you brought me that iced tea?"
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"I'm thinking what if I let you buy me dinner to go with it?"
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"This -- This is gonna be amazing."
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"I'm gonna take you out for a night on the town"
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"you'll never forget."
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"I'm thinking you, me, Dave & Buster's."
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"Y-You know what? I just..."
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"I think I'm really busy these days."
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"Maybe we just scratch this entire date idea."
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"(whispering) I tried."
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"Look, I've learned to spot a red flag when it's flying."
Abbott Elementary
"A guy suggests a dump for a first date,"
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"eventually, you're gonna have to dump him."
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"My ex suggested a strip club."
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"♪"
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"It's Smart Kids Time!"
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"I'm gonna need Tyrel, Nadiyah, and Daniel."
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"- What are you talking about? - For the gifted program."
Abbott Elementary
"Those are the only kids who talk in my class."
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"Sucks to be you. (laughs)"
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"All aboard the brain train! Choo-choo!"
Abbott Elementary
"♪"
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"GREGORY: What do I think of the gifted program?"
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"I mean, look, if everyone's into it, then great."
Abbott Elementary
"I just think the kids are gonna miss the end of the movie."
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"But who needs the end of the movie?"
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"You know, movies are all about the beginning"
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"and then the middle and..."
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"Okay, guys. Let's settle down. Settle down."
Abbott Elementary
"Let's do some math problems to steady our minds."
Abbott Elementary
"Ronald, what's 9 times 10?"
Abbott Elementary
"- SYDNEE: Chicken! - What?"
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"Chickens in the library!"
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"(chicks chirping)"
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"The chicken has an ovary and an oviduct,"
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"and as the female reaches maturity,"
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"these ova develop a few at a time into yolks."
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"And when they hatch, what do we get?"
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"We get breakfast. Am I right?"
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"Served "ova" easy."
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"It's happening! They're hatching!"
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"(gasps)"
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"Aww! Look at that."
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"They're seeing that chickens"
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"don't just come from Crown Fried Chicken."
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"♪ I'm comin' out of retirement to save the environment ♪"
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"♪ I like farms 'cause they're rustic ♪"
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"But GMOs -- Don't trust it ♪"
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"Ms. Teagues, I'm smart. Can I go to the chicken school?"
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"CHILDREN: Me too!"
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"JACOB: Very good."
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"(breathing heavily) Okay, guys."
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"So, I know we're all on board with the gifted program."
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"(grunts, wheezing)"
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"There you go sounding like an old locomotive."
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"Honey, you've got to walk at a normal pace."
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"I think some of the kids who aren't in the gifted program"
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"- are feeling left out. - GREGORY: Agreed."
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"And they took all the talking kids, so now I have to talk."
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"Well, this is nothing we can't fix."
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"We just need to make sure all the kids"
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"who aren't in the program are still on track"
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"to be successful, you know, go to college, do great things."
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"You don't have to go to college to be successful."
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"No. Oh, my God. No. I didn't mean that."
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"- I'm just saying -- - I, for one, love the program."
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"I feel like a blend of Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society"
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"and, well, Robin Williams in Patch Adams."
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"Didn't all those kids in Patch Adams die of cancer?"
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"Well, the real cancer is ignorance."
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"Mm, the real cancer is cancer."
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"Look, there's nothing wrong with the gifted program itself."
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"We just need to organize it better"
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"so that the regular kids --"
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"Ooh. Uh, the ungifted kids -- Mm."
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"The regifted kids..."
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"- Let's lift up the other kids. - Yes. That."
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"Look, if the program is making the kids feel bad,"
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"I don't think it's worth it."
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"Guys, there has to be a way to improve the experience"
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"for the other kids, you know?"
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"Make them feel special too."
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"I'm sure you'll figure it out, Janine."
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"You were in the gifted program, right?"
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"I was."
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"(beeping)"
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"I don't know. Maybe try restarting it?"
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"You don't think I would've tried that, Geek Squad?"
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"Hey, Ava...and Malcolm."
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"Shouldn't you be in class?"
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"That's what I keep saying!"
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"Ava, we need more discretionary funds."
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"I want to get chickens for my class,"
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"since my kids had to sit and watch Jacob hatch eggs"
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"- in the gifted cl-- - Janine, are you new here?"
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"That smart money is for the smart kids."
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"You think if I had more money, I would give it to you for eggs?"
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"(laughs)"
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"Hey, Malcolm, why don't you come with me?"
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"All right. Gonna get you to class."
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"Are you excited for your inspiring lesson from Mr. Hill?"
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"- Yes. - Yay! (chuckles)"
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"- Okay. - "O, Captain! My Captain!""
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"Mm!"
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"Fire bar from MC Walt Whit, but you can call me Cap'n Hill."
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"All right? No cap'n."
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"Huh? Get out your books."
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"- Thank you, hubby. - Mm-hmm."
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"Aww, you're so cute together."
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"- Mm-hmm. - Well, for lunch, madames,"
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"we have a burrito with light-to-smedium sour cream."
Abbott Elementary
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