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Clips from Lucifer - Lucifer, Stay. Good Devil. (S01E01)

"Things that, uh,"
Lucifer
"maybe some of your friends might tease you about."
Lucifer
"But it is what it is,"
Lucifer
"and-and that's not me anymore, okay?"
Lucifer
"(whispers): I know."
Lucifer
"Hmm?"
Lucifer
"I've seen this before, Mommy."
Lucifer
"You have? Where?"
Lucifer
"I have the Internet."
Lucifer
"Oh, right."
Lucifer
"This isn't even in HD."
Lucifer
"Mm. Hmm."
Lucifer
"Well, what'd you think?"
Lucifer
"I thought it's hilarious!"
Lucifer
"You did?"
Lucifer
"My favorite part is when you ate too much cake,"
Lucifer
"and then you puked in that cute guy's hair."
Lucifer
"(laughs)"
Lucifer
"That part is really funny."
Lucifer
"Previously on Lucifer..."
Lucifer
"MAZE: You're the Lord of Hell,"
Lucifer
"for crying out loud."
Lucifer
"Shouldn't you be spending your valuable time"
Lucifer
"Then you stop, and we think it's all over."
Lucifer
"doing something more significant?"
Lucifer
"I'm retired, Maze. I've got nothing but time."
Lucifer
"Your return to the Underworld has been requested."
Lucifer
"Yeah."
Lucifer
"Remind Dad that I quit Hell"
Lucifer
"because I was sick and tired of playing a part in his play."
Lucifer
"We should be out there solving a homicide"
Lucifer
"and punishing those responsible."
Lucifer
"But then..."
Lucifer
"We? How could you possibly help me?"
Lucifer
"I have the ability"
Lucifer
"to draw out peoples' forbidden desires."
Lucifer
"I got it. I got it. The name,"
Lucifer
"- Blah! Blah! - Oh."
Lucifer
"the whole Lucifer thing."
Lucifer
"And desire is like your superpower."
Lucifer
"Mm, it's more like a gift from God really."
Lucifer
"(laughs)"
Lucifer
"You're thinking about it, aren't you?"
Lucifer
"See, I wouldn't recommend it."
Lucifer
"I'm like walking heroin."
Lucifer
"Ah, you're the Devil. (laughs)"
Lucifer
"Sorry, Mommy."
Lucifer
"Mm, correct."
Lucifer
"(gunshot, Chloe gasps)"
Lucifer
"(gunshots, Lucifer grunting)"
Lucifer
"Give me one second."
Lucifer
"Please. Please don't kill me."
Lucifer
"You're gonna wish"
Lucifer
"that's all I did to you."
Lucifer
"Didn't mean to hurt you."
Lucifer
"MAZE: I just can't understand"
Lucifer
"why you would save a human life."
Lucifer
"Something different about her"
Lucifer
"You didn't hurt me, baby. I'm fine."
Lucifer
"that I don't quite understand, and it vexes me."
Lucifer
"Maybe it's not her that's different."
Lucifer
"It's gonna get better soon."
Lucifer
"LUCIFER: Right. Here's the deal."
Lucifer
"We can have as much naked cuddle time as you desire,"
Lucifer
"I hope the guy who hurt you got in lots of trouble."
Lucifer
"but you're gonna have to listen to me, too."
Lucifer
"You know, just an existential dilemma or two. Deal?"
Lucifer
"LINDA: Yes."
Lucifer
"♪♪"
Lucifer
"You know, I should go see him."
Lucifer
"♪ I ain't go no soul, the preacher told me so ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ I'm out... on my own ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ I ain't got no soul, the preacher told me so... ♪"
Lucifer
"So, the Devil did a good deed today."
Lucifer
"MAN: Save your soul! It's up to you!"
Lucifer
"I ask you to repent!"
Lucifer
"(laughs): Oh. Hmm."
Lucifer
"Repent your sins"
Lucifer
"before it is too late!"
Lucifer
"It is the end"
Lucifer
"of times!"
Lucifer
"The Devil walks among us!"
Lucifer
"- There's no need to call it that. - (chuckles)"
Lucifer
"Padre, you have no idea how right you are. (chuckles)"
Lucifer
"But there's no need to be angry about it."
Lucifer
"Enjoy the ride."
Lucifer
"I enjoyed every minute of it."
Lucifer
"MAN: Bless you."
Lucifer
"Have you seen the face of the Devil?"
Lucifer
"Oh, every morning in the mirror, pal."
Lucifer
"(laughs) You know what I mean."
Lucifer
"Exactly!"
Lucifer
"He's in all of us!"
Lucifer
"In our every moment of weakness."
Lucifer
"Look at this world!"
Lucifer
"Mm."
Lucifer
"The sin, the lust!"
Lucifer
"It is the Devil's touch."
Lucifer
"N-N-No, don't give me credit for all that."
Lucifer
"You know, I'm so very used to being in control of everything."
Lucifer
"You humans do plenty all on your own."
Lucifer
"(microphone feedback squeals)"
Lucifer
"Not knowing what's gonna come next is..."
Lucifer
"(sighs)"
Lucifer
"What's your problem, pal?"
Lucifer
"Excuse me?"
Lucifer
"Yeah, uh, why don't you move your shtick along."
Lucifer
"Okay, I'm not sharing my tips with you,"
Lucifer
"Can be scary."
Lucifer
"- if that's what you're angling for. - Oh."
Lucifer
"Right. Is this a performance?"
Lucifer
"Are you like the Chewbacca and the Spider-Man down the street?"
Lucifer
"No. No, I'm finding it quite exhilarating, actually."
Lucifer
"I have to say, you're very good."
Lucifer
"Yeah, so why don't you go bother them."
Lucifer
"You're bad for my business."
Lucifer
"- Hmm. - (chuckles)"
Lucifer
"Repent! The Devil..."
Lucifer
"Isn't finished with you yet."
Lucifer
"You see, what I hate more than anything is a liar,"
Lucifer
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