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Clips from Lucifer - Lucifer, Stay. Good Devil. (S01E01)

"Maze!"
Lucifer
"Did you bring me my gift?"
Lucifer
"(grunting)"
Lucifer
"(muffled panting)"
Lucifer
"I'll kill you, you crazy bitch."
Lucifer
"Just be polite to the lady."
Lucifer
"She isn't your enemy tonight."
Lucifer
"What is this?"
Lucifer
"Right, well, both of you have committed terrible acts"
Lucifer
"worthy of punishment."
Lucifer
"However, you will not receive"
Lucifer
"said punishment when you die."
Lucifer
"It's my fault, really. Sorry."
Lucifer
"So I'm here to fix that."
Lucifer
"Right now."
Lucifer
"Oh. Amateurs."
Lucifer
"All right, very well, in terms you'll understand."
Lucifer
"You both get a gun."
Lucifer
"Let's see who shoots who first."
Lucifer
"What's to stop us from shooting you?"
Lucifer
"Well, despite the waste of bullets, let's see."
Lucifer
"He's about to rat you out to the police."
Lucifer
"And he tricked you into taking the fall for a murder"
Lucifer
"he committed. (chuckles)"
Lucifer
"Discuss."
Lucifer
"You really did it, didn't you?"
Lucifer
"You killed people."
Lucifer
"You lost your touch, Nick."
Lucifer
"All this talk about lines we can't cross."
Lucifer
"Nowadays, the only way to be first"
Lucifer
"is to realize that there is no line."
Lucifer
"And you were almost"
Lucifer
"begging to take the fall."
Lucifer
"That one dramatic gesture."
Lucifer
"As if that would erase the fact that you've been a piece of crap"
Lucifer
"- for the last 30 years. - You can't do this."
Lucifer
"I treated you like a son."
Lucifer
"(gun clicks)"
Lucifer
"(laughs)"
Lucifer
"Oh, Maze,"
Lucifer
"you fiend."
Lucifer
"Even I didn't see that one coming."
Lucifer
"You really would've killed me."
Lucifer
"Nick... (car approaching)"
Lucifer
"I made a mistake, okay? I realize that now."
Lucifer
"(car door opens) And I'm sorry. CHLOE: Stop!"
Lucifer
"Don't shoot him!"
Lucifer
"LUCIFER: Detective,"
Lucifer
"you're interrupting my punishment."
Lucifer
"You, don't talk."
Lucifer
"You're lucky I figured out your insane,"
Lucifer
"ironic punishment before anyone got killed."
Lucifer
"Nick, you tried to do some good,"
Lucifer
"to help someone. Don't throw it all away."
Lucifer
"Nick, embrace who you really are."
Lucifer
"Stop fighting it. Come on."
Lucifer
"Don't listen to him, Nick. You tried to change."
Lucifer
"Yeah."
Lucifer
"- And look what happened. - Yeah."
Lucifer
"You screwed up, but you know what? It's okay."
Lucifer
"You tried to change. That's what's important."
Lucifer
"Humans."
Lucifer
"Fascinating, aren't they?"
Lucifer
"Do you know, perhaps they're onto something."
Lucifer
"Nick... don't."
Lucifer
"I was surprised to hear from you, Lucifer."
Lucifer
"Well, not as surprised as I was."
Lucifer
"But I wanted to tell you you were right."
Lucifer
"Hmm. Is that a joke?"
Lucifer
"(chuckles) No, I wish it were."
Lucifer
"But, no, you were right, and I was wrong."
Lucifer
"So you'll return to Hell?"
Lucifer
"What? No!"
Lucifer
"That is absurd."
Lucifer
"No, you're right that I've changed in my time here,"
Lucifer
"and that I have absolutely no control over it."
Lucifer
"And you know what?"
Lucifer
"That feels positively thrilling."
Lucifer
"You asked me here to tell me that?"
Lucifer
"No, no, no, I thought"
Lucifer
"I'd use you to remedy a situation that I've mishandled,"
Lucifer
"and annoy you in the process."
Lucifer
"Kill two birds with one prayer sort of thing, hmm?"
Lucifer
"Luci..."
Lucifer
"you should've taken the offer."
Lucifer
"Oh."
Lucifer
"(wings flapping)"
Lucifer
"(groans)"
Lucifer
"(gasps)"
Lucifer
"You're looking for someone?"
Lucifer
"(gasps)"
Lucifer
"But..."
Lucifer
"you were just over there."
Lucifer
"That's... that's impossible."
Lucifer
"(indistinct police radio chatter)"
Lucifer
"(siren whoops)"
Lucifer
"Yes?"
Lucifer
"I saw Nick pull the trigger."
Lucifer
"I heard the gunshot, but Josh wasn't shot."
Lucifer
"Did you put blanks in the guns? Like..."
Lucifer
"Was this some staged thing to get a confession out of Josh?"
Lucifer
"That's probably more plausible to you than my angelic brother"
Lucifer
"slowing time while I pluck a bullet out of thin air,"
Lucifer
"isn't it?"
Lucifer
"Even with all that,"
Lucifer
"you were standing right in front of me."
Lucifer
"I blink, and you're here."
Lucifer
"Is there a question there, Detective?"
Lucifer
"You... (sighs)"
Lucifer
"You know exactly what I'm asking you."
Lucifer
"And you know exactly what I'll answer."
Lucifer
"You know, um..."
Lucifer
"it's quite fun, this police malarkey, isn't it?"
Lucifer
"TRIXIE: Are we going to watch a movie, Mommy?"
Lucifer
"CHLOE: No, babe, I just wanted to talk to you about something."
Lucifer
"So, before I was a cop,"
Lucifer
"I was an actress."
Lucifer
"And I was in a movie."
Lucifer
"And... it was this movie."
Lucifer
"In the movie, I do some very silly things."
Lucifer
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