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Clips from Family Guy - Meg Goes to College (S19E19)

"♪ It seems today that all you see ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ But where are those good old‐fashioned values ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ On which we used to rely? ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ All the things that make us ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Laugh and cry ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪"
Family Guy
"New shirt, Cleveland?"
Family Guy
"Donna saw an unflattering picture of me on Facebook"
Family Guy
"and only lets me wear black now."
Family Guy
"Is the picture that bad?"
Family Guy
"It was the worst thing"
Family Guy
"I would ever want to see myself be."
Family Guy
"Problem with these dark shirts is the dandruff shows."
Family Guy
"But when I wear light colors..."
Family Guy
"The dandruff doesn't show, but you look bigger in the shirt."
Family Guy
"- Yeah, it's called "Guillermo's Paradox." - What's that now?"
Family Guy
"Guillermo del Toro theorized that a fat man's shirt"
Family Guy
"cannot simultaneously appear slimming and clean."
Family Guy
"Mm. That boy does look like he be gettin' dry."
Family Guy
"All right, Peter, what's going on?"
Family Guy
"Well, truth be told,"
Family Guy
"Meg wants me to give her a bunch of money"
Family Guy
"so she can go to college, and I guess..."
Family Guy
"I guess I'd rather spend that money on alcohol."
Family Guy
"Listen, I helped my daughter through college"
Family Guy
"and it was the best thing I ever did."
Family Guy
"Well, it was just kind of us talking, but how so?"
Family Guy
"Right after she graduated, she got a real good job"
Family Guy
"and bought me a new car."
Family Guy
"Says she's gonna buy me a house one day,"
Family Guy
"so I can sell this place and retire."
Family Guy
"Man, imagine how great it would feel to be retired?"
Family Guy
"I knew a retired kid in high school."
Family Guy
"All he ate was Tater Tots."
Family Guy
"He smooshed a turtle like a ice cream sandwich."
Family Guy
"- He was severely retired. - Okay, Peter."
Family Guy
"Guys, I've got to help Meg get into a good college."
Family Guy
"Then I can have the golden years I've always dreamed of."
Family Guy
"I sure am gonna miss you, baby."
Family Guy
"New wife that's just one giant freckle?"
Family Guy
"Come on, Florida, cancer, let's go!"
Family Guy
"What's going on? You okay?"
Family Guy
"This‐this squirrel, man..."
Family Guy
"Yeah, come down here and do it, huh?"
Family Guy
"Come down here!"
Family Guy
"Well, you're getting old, Bri."
Family Guy
"Might be time to pack it up"
Family Guy
"and get out of the squirrel gettin' game."
Family Guy
"No way, man. That little bastard comes down here..."
Family Guy
"Hey."
Family Guy
"Get him, boy."
Family Guy
"- ♪ -"
Family Guy
"You've got to get in shape, man."
Family Guy
"You know, you should meet my trainer."
Family Guy
"I think you'd really like him."
Family Guy
"- You have a trainer? - Yes."
Family Guy
"You think it's easy looking zero for 20 years?"
Family Guy
"All right, fine, I'll give it a shot."
Family Guy
"Right now I feel more useless than a chiropractor"
Family Guy
"in an emergency."
Family Guy
"Excuse me, is anyone here a doctor?"
Family Guy
"I have a heating pad in my office."
Family Guy
"What seems to be the problem?"
Family Guy
"All right, Meg, now if we're gonna get you"
Family Guy
"into a good school, we're gonna have"
Family Guy
"to fudge your application a bit."
Family Guy
"Okay, how do we do that?"
Family Guy
"I don't know, I ate the fudge."
Family Guy
"But the good news is"
Family Guy
"I got a letter of recommendation for you."
Family Guy
"It's from Big Bird and I wrote it."
Family Guy
"- "When I first met..." - Read it as Big Bird, please."
Family Guy
""When I first met Peter,"
Family Guy
"I was impressed at how tall and handsome he is.""
Family Guy
"That's coming from Big Bird?"
Family Guy
"Think of all the celebrities he's met."
Family Guy
"Ryan Reynolds was on Sesame Street Sesame Street."
Family Guy
"- Wow. - "Also, have you ever noticed"
Family Guy
""that Grover and Super Grover are never"
Family Guy
"in the same room at the same time?""
Family Guy
"As I said, Lois, not two days ago."
Family Guy
"Principal Shepherd, what's it gonna take"
Family Guy
"to get Meg into a college?"
Family Guy
"If Meg has any chance at all,"
Family Guy
"she's going to need a little "extra help.""
Family Guy
"We'll do anything. Whatever it takes."
Family Guy
"Good. Now you do understand how this works?"
Family Guy
"We understand."
Family Guy
"I guess I'll, uh, I'll meet you in the car."
Family Guy
"He didn't mean you have to sleep with him."
Family Guy
"There are a few options."
Family Guy
"Now, Mr. And Mrs. Griffin, every college"
Family Guy
"has spots set aside for athletic recruits."
Family Guy
"We can make Meg look like a star athlete."
Family Guy
"With the click of a button,"
Family Guy
"we can make Meg look like she played varsity lacrosse,"
Family Guy
"won the Quahog Marathon, or had her head"
Family Guy
"roll down a temple in Apocalypto."
Family Guy
"Lois, this is amazing!"
Family Guy
"Meg's gonna look more successful"
Family Guy
"than a businessman in a hard hat."
Family Guy
"Hey! I came down here from the office to point at the plans,"
Family Guy
"then at the building! Plans! Building!"
Family Guy
"Building! Plans!"
Family Guy
"Yes, sir. Right away, sir!"
Family Guy
"MAN"
Family Guy
"I come down to the site once in a while."
Family Guy
"Hi, uh, you must be Stewie's trainer."
Family Guy
"Wh... How did you...? I thought I was gonna meet your trainer?"
Family Guy
"You're looking at him, Bri. Look at my body."
Family Guy
"I'm jacked. You want to get jacked?"
Family Guy
"- Uh... - Yeah, you want to get jacked."
Family Guy
"That's what having a trainer is."
Family Guy
"Just a couple of guys getting jacked."
Family Guy
"- Sometimes twice a day. - Okay, you know what...?"
Family Guy
"All right, before we start in, a little business to go over."
Family Guy
"I was just messing around about the jacked stuff, by the way."
Family Guy
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