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Clips from Central Park - Squirrel, Interrupted (S01E01)

"and Cole kept calling him on doing "that thing,""
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"but everyone was being pretty cool until Owen went too damn far."
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"So the squirrels become dinosaurs for a whole book? Dinosaurs?"
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"Yes. They became dinosaurs, and it was fantastic."
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"So, they just abandoned the squirrel premise,"
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"but the book is still called "squirrels"?"
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"That's what they were before they evolved. It's called "squevolution.""
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"Squirrels did not evolve from dinosaurs, Cole!"
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"You did not just say that."
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"I did. And it's true. Look, I really wanna do this."
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"I'm just having a hard time because nothing in these books makes sense."
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"It's like we didn't just collect three talismans together."
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"Hey, Cole! I know where the Mud-dallion of Muddgrabber is!"
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"Dad, I think I'm just gonna go do the rest of the hunt with Enrique."
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"-Enrique, wait up! -Wait, no. That's not what I--"
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"-I'll-- I'll see you back at the house. -Cole!"
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"-Hey, babe. -Hi."
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"Owen, get this. Molly is playing pickup chess in the park,"
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"and I'm just gonna say it."
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"Our daughter is a ruthless B-word. I have never been prouder."
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"-Wow. That's-- that's great. -I know. How's the hunt going?"
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"I messed up. I'm a terrible father."
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"I should be sent to Failed Father Island."
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"Oh, hon. Do you get to sleep in there? It sounds kinda nice. What happened?"
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"Did you know how ridiculous those books actually are?"
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"Which books? The ones about the squirrel warriors"
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"who live and walk among us without us noticing,"
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"and they protect the park from all sorts of supernatural threats?"
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"-Those books? -Okay. I hear it now."
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"Well, at least your daughter's doing great."
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"Thanks to me. I'm kidding."
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"-Only a little bit. I love you. -I love you too."
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"I've ruined everything."
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"This morning Everything was going great"
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"Woke up on top of it all"
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"Honestly I didn't see that I would fall"
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"Flash forward And I really cannot overstate"
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"How totally my ship went down"
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"And now my son Might run me out of town"
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"I'd love to change what I have done"
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"But I don't have that kind of control"
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"Failed Father Island, here I come"
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"Where I'll eat only sand And poop in a hole"
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"I thought I was a genius"
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"But it turns out I was just a dumb dad"
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"A-- on a scale of one to ten"
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"Why didn't I foresee this?"
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"I ruined this day, and now I'm sad"
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"Please, can we do today again?"
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"Hello, today is going great"
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"Knock wood, I'm on top of it all"
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"Honestly I never expected this windfall"
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"At home, my heart began to palpitate"
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"Wasn't sure how this would go down"
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"I fully thought my ship Would run aground"
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"My daughter's a badass chess machine And I've never been more proud"
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"I'm as giddy as a mom could be But now I'm not afraid to say aloud"
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"I guess I'm a genius"
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"A mom who puts other moms to shame"
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"A "hell yeah" on a scale of one to ten"
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"Bow down before my queen-ness"
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"I will check every mate in every game"
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"Please, can we do today again?"
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"-I wanna unsay -The winner is clear"
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"-So much of today -For mom of the year"
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"-I wanna have a chance to replay -I'll take my crown and rose bouquet"
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"I want a do-over"
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"-This feels pretty great -Don't make much ado over"
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"-So why not just celebrate -Don't wanna stew over"
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"The surprise that was today"
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"So call me a genius"
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"-A mom -A dad"
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"On top of the game"
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"-A "whoo" on a scale of one to ten -A-- on a scale of one to ten"
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"I want to decree this"
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"-A day to put in the hall of shame -A day to put in the hall of fame"
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"Please, can we do today again?"
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"It's time for the Passing of the Oar,"
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"where we say what we've accomplished in the last year, even if it's stupid."
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"As the patriarch and most influential and virile member of the family,"
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"I will begin by passing the oar to one of our youngest members, Benson."
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"It's Brendan, but okay."
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"Uh, I've been flying my kites, uh, in the sky. I guess that's implied."
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"Oh. And I met a girl named Molly."
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"Huh? What? Oh, right. You're the one with the kites. Depressing."
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"-Next. -Oh, cool."
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"Super glad I decided to sit here."
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"I'll go next."
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"This year, I've raised a million dollars for my charity,"
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"Horse Braces for Racehorses."
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"In addition to the million dollars I gave you?"
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"Well, no, Daddy, one million total. So far."
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"Disappointing. Next. Anton."
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"Helen. Make sure Ambrose's man doesn't bring back whatever Ambrose asked for."
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"On it."
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"Blending up meat much?"
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"Ambrose drinks two of these a day."
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"He has low iron, and he hasn't chewed his food in 15 years."
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"Well, Bitsy doesn't want me to let you out of here with that."
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"-What? Why? -I don't know. Who cares?"
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"-Well, I'm bringing it to him. -No, you're not."
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"-Move. -No."
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"-Shoo. -No."
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"-Well, that's just mean. -So is this."
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"Oh, I'm in the meat."
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"-You guys calling it quits? -I guess so, yeah."
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"I mean, that was fun to lose so many times, so quickly,"
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"but, yeah, we can stop."
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"I know my daughter wiped the floor with you,"
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"so here's a hot dog. It's the least I can do."
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"It helps a little."
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"If you're tired of winning, you ought to play Konstantin."
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"Who's Konstantin?"
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"You didn't clock grandpa over there eating bodega sushi,"
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"playing ten people at the same time?"
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"That guy's good at chess? He's so bad at eating sushi."
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"No, he's not good at chess. Konstantin is a chess master,"
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"and undefeated in this park as far as I know."
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"Checkmate."
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"Ooh. Checkmate."
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