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Clips from Central Park - Squirrel, Interrupted (S01E01)

"Since I was a kid, my heroes have been Not the kind most would prefer"
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"They carry swords They're ten inches high"
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"They're completely covered in fur"
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"These epic tales of heroic quests"
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"Of these squirrels who live in the park"
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"The greatest stories To have ever been told"
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"Tomorrow's the day Be still my heart"
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"Cole's giddy because tomorrow there's a big scavenger hunt in the park"
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"based on his favorite series of books,"
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"The Squirrel Quarrels, written by Kelleth Vanbeaceler."
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"Interesting fact about-- Oh, sorry. He's still singing."
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"Attention Boys and girls and squirrels"
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"Get ready for tomorrow because"
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"It's gonna be nuts, nuts, nuts"
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"It's gonna be nuts, nuts, nuts"
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"Grab your nutsacks For the Squavenger Hunt"
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"We're all gonna be swimming in nuts"
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"It's gonna be nuts, nuts, nuts"
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"It's gonna be nuts, nuts, nuts"
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"It's gonna be nuts, nuts, nuts"
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"Remember when Muddgrabber fled From Stinkcloud Keep"
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"In a disguise he made from leaves"
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"Or when Chatterling flew Through the Dark Ramble"
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"To defeat the Council of Thieves"
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"I don't. But that all sounds very exciting."
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"Quick question for the group."
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"How long are we gonna talk about these books? All night?"
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"Until I graduate college? Until the Earth goes into the sun?"
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"Just trying to plan accordingly."
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"Uh-huh. Remember a little thing called The Apartment Bears?"
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"How dare you. That's totally different."
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"They lived in the real world and faced real problems."
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"They are the bravest squirrel warriors Ooh!"
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"To ever skitter-scamp up a bower home"
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"And tomorrow They will be brought to life"
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"In the park outside of our home Our home"
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"Whatever."
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"Attention Boys and girls and squirrels"
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"Get ready for tomorrow because"
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"It's gonna be nuts, nuts, nuts"
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"It's gonna be nuts, nuts, nuts"
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"It's gonna be nuts, nuts, nuts"
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"Nuts, nuts"
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"I'm excited for you guys."
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"It's been a while since you had a good father-son day."
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"Not since you took him to the barber to fix the bald spot you gave him."
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"They were new trimmers. They got away from me. But yeah."
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"The barber gave us both lollipops, so it was a good day."
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"Gonna be hard to beat that. Good luck."
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"Not to toot my own horn,"
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"but those books got him interested in reading and interested in the park."
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"Pretty strong parenting. Not that it's a contest."
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"-Oh, do you really wanna go there? -We're already there."
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"Name three of their friends. What are they doing after school on Monday?"
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"What size clothes do they wear? What grade is Cole in?"
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"Okay, okay, okay. I give. You're a mean lady."
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"You know what? Your dad and your brother are off on their date,"
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"I need a break from work,"
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"and you look like you could use a break from whatever you're doing there."
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"Epic cat fails. Man, this cat's so stupid."
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"What do you say to a little Mother-Daughter Blood Chess?"
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"Why do games make you so intense? Can we just call it "chess"?"
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"Uh, what about "Happy Family Chess Massacre"?"
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"Fine. "Blood Chess.""
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"Thank you for your knight."
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"My bishop is going to redecorate this square"
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"in a style that is more appropriate for her."
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"I'm just gonna say it. Beanbag chair."
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"I love that you love playing chess with me."
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"I'm not crying. Why would a game of chess make me cry?"
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"-Uh-huh, uh-huh. Check. -Wow, very bold."
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"I'm gonna move out of check."
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"And I don't know if you've developed the middle of the board, honeybuns."
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"Great advice. Check, again."
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"Balls! I mean, good job."
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"-But are you ready for this? -Yes. Kinda. Checkmate."
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"No. No, what?"
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"Holy crap, you beat me. You really beat me."
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"You say that like I haven't beaten you the last, what, 50 times?"
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"Right, right. Of course."
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"Wait. Have you been letting me win?"
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"Absolutely not. But today, you actually beat me."
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"Letting me win. How is that remotely Mother-Daughter Blood Chess?"
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"Look, I didn't want you to get discouraged and not wanna play anymore."
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"So, yes. That was not very bloody, but it was very mother-daughtery."
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"-I can't believe this. -I can't believe it either."
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"You're really good. Like, way better than I was at your age."
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"You should be very proud of yourself, you little turd."
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"I guess I forgive you. Only because, apparently, I'm a genius."
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"Hey, does this mean I'm ready to play people that aren't my mom?"
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"Like, people in the park?"
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"Whoa. Slow down, tiger."
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"I mean, the chess players in the park might be, you know, a little much."
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"-But I'm ready, right? -Yeah."
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"-I don't believe you. -No, you are. This is how I talk."
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"So, I guess we should go down to the chess house right now?"
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"Okay. Okay. Maybe we should."
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"So, Paige and Molly are having their mama-Molly time."
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"Owen and Cole are having their dada-Cole time."
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"And Bitsy Brandenham is having Bitsy extra-alcohol time,"
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"because she's off to the Brandenham annual family retreat at her brother's house,"
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"which she's hoping to ruin."
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"The retreat, I mean. And the house actually. Either one."
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"Aerial shot!"
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"Look at all these backslappers and glad-handers."
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"So pathetic. Also, what's happening here?"
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"-Oh, dear. Heart attack? -No!"
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"You're milking an invisible cow?"
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"No, you dope. My drinky-drinky hand is empty."
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"Mm-hmm. Mm, and yeah."
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"Look how stupid my brother looks. Oh, you're gone."
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"What's soft and white And has a family crest?"
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"Sitting on his fortune Like a viper on his nest"
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"Big deal"
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"And you, little missy With your money grab"
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"Playing with your ponies While your daddy pays the tab"
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"Big deal"
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"Damn the patriarch"
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"Bitsy's got some news to share"
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"I'll take Central Park Make it like a real Times Square"
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