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Clips from Monty Python's Flying Circus - Untitled (S01E01)

You did jackand the beanstalk.

"You did jackand the beanstalk."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Here, what was that picture?

"Here, what was that picture?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Shh... next.

"Shh... next."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Good morning... mr. phipps?

"Good morning... mr. phipps?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

That's right, yes.

"That's right, yes."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Um, do take a seat.

"Um, do take a seat."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Right, sir.

"Right, sir."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Now, could you tell us, roughly

"Now, could you tell us, roughly"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Why you want to become a librarian?

"Why you want to become a librarian?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Well, I've had a certain amount of experience

"Well, I've had a certain amount of experience"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Running a library at school.

"Running a library at school."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Yes, yes, what sort of experience?

"Yes, yes, what sort of experience?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Well, for a time I ran the upper science library.

"Well, for a time I ran the upper science library."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Yes, yes.

"Yes, yes."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Now, mr. phipps, of course you do realize

"Now, mr. phipps, of course you do realize"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

That the post of librarian carries with it

"That the post of librarian carries with it"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Certain very important responsibilities.

"Certain very important responsibilities."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I mean, there's the selection of books

"I mean, there's the selection of books"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

The record library and the art gallery.

"The record library and the art gallery."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Now, it seems to me that your greatest disadvantage is

"Now, it seems to me that your greatest disadvantage is"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Your lack of professional experience

"Your lack of professional experience"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Coupled with the fact that being a gorilla

"Coupled with the fact that being a gorilla"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

You would tend to frighten people.

"You would tend to frighten people."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Uh, is he a gorilla?

"Uh, is he a gorilla?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Yes, he is.

"Yes, he is."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Why doesn't it say on his form

"Why doesn't it say on his form"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

That he's a gorilla?

"That he's a gorilla?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Well, you see

"Well, you see"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Applicants are not required to fill in their species.

"Applicants are not required to fill in their species."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

What was that picture?

"What was that picture?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Shh!

"Shh!"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Mr. phipps, what is your attitude

"Mr. phipps, what is your attitude"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Towards censorship in the public library?

"Towards censorship in the public library?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

How do you mean, sir?

"How do you mean, sir?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Well, I mean for instance

"Well, I mean for instance"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Would you stock last exit to brooklyn or groupie?

"Would you stock last exit to brooklyn or groupie?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Yes, I think so.

"Yes, I think so."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Good.

"Good."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Yes, well, that seems to be very sensible, mr. phipps.

"Yes, well, that seems to be very sensible, mr. phipps."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I can't pretend that this library

"I can't pretend that this library"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Hasn't had its difficulties.

"Hasn't had its difficulties."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Mr. robertson-- your predecessor--

"Mr. robertson-- your predecessor--"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

An excellent librarian, savaged three people last week

"An excellent librarian, savaged three people last week"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

And had to be destroyed.

"And had to be destroyed."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I'm sorry, sir.

"I'm sorry, sir."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Oh, no, don't be sorry.

"Oh, no, don't be sorry."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

You see, I don't believe

"You see, I don't believe"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

That libraries should be drab places

"That libraries should be drab places"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Where people sit in silence

"Where people sit in silence"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

And that's been the main reason

"And that's been the main reason"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

For our policy of employing

"For our policy of employing"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Wild animals as librarians.

"Wild animals as librarians."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

And also they're much more permissive.

"And also they're much more permissive."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Pumas keep hank janson on open shelves.

"Pumas keep hank janson on open shelves."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Yes, mr. phipps.

"Yes, mr. phipps."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Mr. phipps, I love seeing the customers

"Mr. phipps, I love seeing the customers"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

When they come in to complain

"When they come in to complain"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

About some book being damaged

"About some book being damaged"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

And ask to see the chief librarian

"And ask to see the chief librarian"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

And then you should see their faces

"And then you should see their faces"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

When the proud beast leaps from his tiny office

"When the proud beast leaps from his tiny office"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Snatches the book from their hands and sinks his fangs

"Snatches the book from their hands and sinks his fangs"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Into their soft...

"Into their soft..."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Mr. phipps-- kong--

"Mr. phipps-- kong--"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

You can be our next librarian.

"You can be our next librarian."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

You're proud, majestic and fierce enough.

"You're proud, majestic and fierce enough."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Will you do it?

"Will you do it?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I don't think I can, sir.

"I don't think I can, sir."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Why not?

"Why not?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I'm not really a gorilla.

"I'm not really a gorilla."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I'm a librarian in a skin.

"I'm a librarian in a skin."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Why this deception?

"Why this deception?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Well, they said it would be

"Well, they said it would be"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

The best way to get a job.

"The best way to get a job."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Get out, mr. librarian phipps

"Get out, mr. librarian phipps"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Seeing as you're not a gorilla

"Seeing as you're not a gorilla"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

But only dressed up as one

"But only dressed up as one"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Trying to deceive us

"Trying to deceive us"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

In order to further your career!

"In order to further your career!"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Next?

"Next?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Ah, mr. pattinson, sit!

"Ah, mr. pattinson, sit!"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

dear mirror view

"dear mirror view"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I would like to be paid five guineas

"I would like to be paid five guineas"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

for saying something stupid about a television show.

"for saying something stupid about a television show."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Yours sincerely, mrs. sybil agro.

"Yours sincerely, mrs. sybil agro."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

dear david jacobs, east grinstead, friday.

"dear david jacobs, east grinstead, friday."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

why should I have to pay 64 guineas each year

"why should I have to pay 64 guineas each year"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

for my television license when I can buy one for six?

"for my television license when I can buy one for six?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

yours, sincerely, captain r.h. pretty.

"yours, sincerely, captain r.h. pretty."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

p.s.-- support rhodesia, cut motor taxes

"p.s.-- support rhodesia, cut motor taxes"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Save the argylls, running-in please pass.

"Save the argylls, running-in please pass."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

dear old codgers

"dear old codgers"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

some friends of mine and i have formed a consortium

"some friends of mine and i have formed a consortium"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

and, working with sophisticated drilling equipment

"and, working with sophisticated drilling equipment"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

we have discovered extensive nickel deposits

"we have discovered extensive nickel deposits"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

off western scotland.

"off western scotland."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

The cincinnati mining company.

"The cincinnati mining company."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

good for you, ma'am!

"good for you, ma'am!"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

dear old codgers

"dear old codgers"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I am president of the united states of america.

"I am president of the united states of america."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Yours truly, r.m. nixon.

"Yours truly, r.m. nixon."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

phew! bet that's a job and a half, ma'am.

"phew! bet that's a job and a half, ma'am."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

dear sir, I am over 3,000 years old

"dear sir, I am over 3,000 years old"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

And would like to see any scene with two people in bed.

"And would like to see any scene with two people in bed."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

bet that's a link, ma'am.

"bet that's a link, ma'am."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

bet that's a link, ma'am.

"bet that's a link, ma'am."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Vera, vera, darling!

"Vera, vera, darling!"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Wake up, my little lemon.

"Wake up, my little lemon."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Come to my arms.

"Come to my arms."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Oh, maurice, what are you doing here?

"Oh, maurice, what are you doing here?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I could not keep away from you.

"I could not keep away from you."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I must have you all the time.

"I must have you all the time."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Oh, this is most inconvenient.

"Oh, this is most inconvenient."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Don't talk to me about convenience.

"Don't talk to me about convenience."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Love consumes my naughty mind.

"Love consumes my naughty mind."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I'm delirious with desire.

"I'm delirious with desire."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

What's that, vera?

"What's that, vera?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Oh, uh, nothing, dear

"Oh, uh, nothing, dear"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Just a trick of the light.

"Just a trick of the light."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Righto.

"Righto."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

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