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Clips from The Monkees - Monkees Chow Mein (S01E01)

"? Take the last train to Clarksville ?"
The Monkees
"? And I'll meet you at the station ?"
The Monkees
"? The ice is melting faster ?"
The Monkees
"? The knife is getting sharper ?"
The Monkees
"? The rope is getting lower ?"
The Monkees
"? I'll meet you at four-thirty ? ? Don't be sharp, oh no ?"
The Monkees
"? No, no ?"
The Monkees
"You expect me to believe you make money singing like that?"
The Monkees
"I didn't say we made money; I said we sing."
The Monkees
"Oh, so you are nothing but a singing group?"
The Monkees
"Right!"
The Monkees
"Then we have nothing to learn from you."
The Monkees
"Right!"
The Monkees
"Nothing to learn at all, no."
The Monkees
"Then I can merely kill you."
The Monkees
"Right."
The Monkees
"Wrong!"
The Monkees
"Time's running out."
The Monkees
"That's right."
The Monkees
"There's only one thing left to do."
The Monkees
"This looks like a job for..."
The Monkees
"Monkeemen!"
The Monkees
"Up, up and away."
The Monkees
"What is this "up and away" thing?"
The Monkees
"I want to fly man, want to fly."
The Monkees
"Fly? Why are you gonna fly, man? The restaurant's a half a block."
The Monkees
"- Oh, is it? - Yeah."
The Monkees
"We better walk then, hadn't we?"
The Monkees
"We might as well walk."
The Monkees
"Before you kill us, Charlie, tell me one thing."
The Monkees
"Who's number one? Who is Mr. Big?"
The Monkees
"Who do you suppose, my little Monkee? Mr. Big is Dragonman."
The Monkees
"Oh, well, isn't that always the way? The fellow you least suspect."
The Monkees
"But I am a civilized man. I offer you,"
The Monkees
"I offer you chance to save your lives."
The Monkees
"Oh, you're a real sport!"
The Monkees
"Hey, don't make trouble."
The Monkees
"Behind you, you'll see four doors."
The Monkees
"Three of them, three, my friends, are marked for sudden death."
The Monkees
"The fourth will lead to freedom. It is your choice."
The Monkees
"You have sixty seconds to choose. Ha ha ha. Come, Toto."
The Monkees
"Sixty. Sixty seconds."
The Monkees
"One, two, three. Hey, this is gonna be fun."
The Monkees
"It is not any game, Peter."
The Monkees
"Let's see what's behind this door."
The Monkees
"No, wait! Just open it a crack first."
The Monkees
"It sounded alright to me."
The Monkees
"Let's go to this next door; I thought I heard a rattle."
The Monkees
"Maybe it's a baby."
The Monkees
"Ra-ra-ra-rattlesnake."
The Monkees
"I'll bet this door leads to freedom."
The Monkees
"Oh. Just in time."
The Monkees
"What are you, "just in time"?"
The Monkees
"Well, we know one thing, baby; that's the door to freedom."
The Monkees
"Right you are, ha ha ha ha."
The Monkees
"Ah!"
The Monkees
"Hey, wait! Wait! You said one of these doors led to freedom."
The Monkees
"I didn't say it positively."
The Monkees
"He's right, you know."
The Monkees
"Kill them!"
The Monkees
"The door was open."
The Monkees
"- It's Monkeemen! - Men."
The Monkees
"We're saved!"
The Monkees
"??? Now, like the inspector said,"
The Monkees
"we'll use psychological warfare. Ha ha, ha, ha ha."
The Monkees
"Ha ha ha. Ha ha. Ah ha. Ah ha."
The Monkees
"Ho ho. Ah ha. Ah ha. Oh ha. Ah. Wah."
The Monkees
"You're a nail biter."
The Monkees
"You're a nail biter, and your mother never, ever loved you."
The Monkees
"You are too short. You are too short,"
The Monkees
"and you have no ear for music."
The Monkees
"Oh, oh, Mike! Mike! Oh, help me, Mike!"
The Monkees
"Yes, I'll, I'll handle this. You're ugly."
The Monkees
"You're an ugly person. Ugly, ugly!"
The Monkees
"Ooh, are you ugly! Nobody likes you, least of all me."
The Monkees
"Oh!"
The Monkees
"Nobody, nobody likes you. Take that."
The Monkees
"Enough of this! Get formula for Doomsday Bug."
The Monkees
"Oh, what is this formula? I have the Doomsday Bug here."
The Monkees
"Ha, that is it, the Doomsday Bug. Ha ha. The bug itself!"
The Monkees
"Oh boy. Oh boy, master, the bug."
The Monkees
"Don't try to fool me with old bug trick. You have no bug!"
The Monkees
"Oh, he has a bug. Oh, he has a bug."
The Monkees
"That's for sure. That's a-"
The Monkees
"Oh, that's a bug, see that?"
The Monkees
"A hundred and ninety-nine, two hundred eyes."
The Monkees
"Two hundred eyes."
The Monkees
"See that? It's the bug, the bug. Watch this, watch, wa."
The Monkees
"Ah!"
The Monkees
"Oh, please. You fools, there is no bug!"
The Monkees
"Oh, yeah, it's jumping all over him. It's on him now."
The Monkees
"You fools, there is no bug! Get them, get them!"
The Monkees
"Get 'em."
The Monkees
"She knows her mind all right, your auntie Grizelda,"
The Monkees
"She says she knows my kind, she might, maybe so"
The Monkees
"Oh, yeah, she's raised you right, your auntie Grizelda,"
The Monkees
"You only know the things she wants you to know"
The Monkees
"I know she's having a fit, She doesn't like me a bit,"
The Monkees
"No bird of grace ever lit on auntie Grizelda"
The Monkees
"You can't begrudge her style, your auntie Grizelda,"
The Monkees
"She couldn't budge a smile and do it for free"
The Monkees
"So righteous making fudge, your auntie Grizelda,"
The Monkees
"So proper judging others over her tea"
The Monkees
"You look just like her you do, I know by looking at you,"
The Monkees
"That you've been listening to your auntie Grizelda"
The Monkees
"Oh, no, don't look at me like auntie Grizelda"
The Monkees
"It takes much more to be someone of your own"
The Monkees
"You've got to make it free from auntie Grizelda"
The Monkees
"Or just like her you'll have to make it alone"
The Monkees
"I know she's having a fit, She doesn't like me a bit,"
The Monkees
"No bird of grace ever lit on auntie Grizelda"
The Monkees
"Auntie Grizelda, auntie Grizelda"
The Monkees
"Auntie Grizelda, auntie Grizelda"
The Monkees
"Bye. Bye. Ha ha."
The Monkees
"Good work, men. Good work, men. Good work, men!"
The Monkees
"What? Hey, hey, come on, now."
The Monkees
"Good work, men! I came as fast as I could."
The Monkees
"Yeah, how did you get here, by ox-cart?"
The Monkees
"No, I came by-"
The Monkees
"How about the, uh, how 'bout the dinner for four."
The Monkees
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