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Clips from Hamlet 2

"Beer, liquor, dope, coke, meth, chicks with dicks, then jail."
Hamlet 2
"Hey, what would happen if you have a drink?"
Hamlet 2
"My entire life would fall apart."
Hamlet 2
"Okay. Who wants to go? Me."
Hamlet 2
"I would love to go home."
Hamlet 2
"No, no, no, no, no. You can't leave now."
Hamlet 2
"We just coming together as a class, right?"
Hamlet 2
"No."
Hamlet 2
"Heywood, it's late and my wife is ovulating."
Hamlet 2
"Hey, we got you another mango iced tea."
Hamlet 2
"Mango iced tea is my kryptonite."
Hamlet 2
"It's totally."
Hamlet 2
"Powerless to resist."
Hamlet 2
"Okay, a few more minutes won't hurt."
Hamlet 2
"Yeah, I'd drink to that."
Hamlet 2
"He's about to go through the center of the Sun."
Hamlet 2
"Sir, I'm gonna need you to wake up"
Hamlet 2
"and show me some form of identification."
Hamlet 2
"Time begins and stops now."
Hamlet 2
"We have a 410 with a 6l4 in the 1100 block of Ocotillo."
Hamlet 2
"What do those numbers mean?"
Hamlet 2
"Come on."
Hamlet 2
"Are you sending me to the gas chamber?"
Hamlet 2
"Right this way, sir."
Hamlet 2
"What is happening?"
Hamlet 2
"Good morning, class."
Hamlet 2
"Okay, I'd like to start by saying two things."
Hamlet 2
"First of all, acid is a very strong drug,"
Hamlet 2
"and B, where are my pants and underwear?"
Hamlet 2
"Excuse me, Mr. Marschz."
Hamlet 2
"We need to discuss something about the latest draft."
Hamlet 2
"The role of Laertes, my part, you've turned him into a gay."
Hamlet 2
"He's not gay. He's bi-curious."
Hamlet 2
"And the role has also been reduced significantly."
Hamlet 2
"Rand, theater is a living thing."
Hamlet 2
"Octavio's performance the other day,"
Hamlet 2
"combined with my wife's intense desire to get pregnant,"
Hamlet 2
"not to mention the acid,"
Hamlet 2
"inspired me to take some bold steps"
Hamlet 2
"in looking at my relationship with my father."
Hamlet 2
"That meant reducing Laertes' role."
Hamlet 2
"And the gay thing, I just thought you'd be more comfortable..."
Hamlet 2
"What? What?"
Hamlet 2
"This has nothing to do with my sexuality!"
Hamlet 2
"Listen, listen, I've given my life to this class,"
Hamlet 2
"and now it all goes out the window because of him?"
Hamlet 2
"Because he inspired you?"
Hamlet 2
"It's what's best for the play."
Hamlet 2
"Not acceptable! I quit!"
Hamlet 2
"Oh, man, you can't quit now."
Hamlet 2
"Rand!"
Hamlet 2
"Rand! What?"
Hamlet 2
"Let's talk about this."
Hamlet 2
"I hate you, you stupid, fat fucker!"
Hamlet 2
"Am I fat?"
Hamlet 2
"I want you to meet a friend of mine."
Hamlet 2
"He got stuck inside my time machine."
Hamlet 2
"His name is Jesus Christ."
Hamlet 2
"Oh, yeah. We heard you were coming back."
Hamlet 2
"Jesus has a rocking swimmer's bod."
Hamlet 2
"Okay, can I ask you a question?"
Hamlet 2
"Sure."
Hamlet 2
"What's really going on here?"
Hamlet 2
"Is Jesus, like, a swimmer?"
Hamlet 2
"Jesus is very lean..."
Hamlet 2
"Can we please wait until lunch to do that?"
Hamlet 2
"Thank you."
Hamlet 2
"Where was I? Jesus has a swimmer's body."
Hamlet 2
"Jesus has a swimmer's body,"
Hamlet 2
"and while he's one of the more spiritual people on Earth,"
Hamlet 2
"he's also very attractive to you."
Hamlet 2
"He's attractive to me?"
Hamlet 2
"Jesus is sexy to you. Which leads us on to the musical interlude,"
Hamlet 2
"Rock Me, Sexy Jesus."
Hamlet 2
"Okay, you are 40-something minutes late."
Hamlet 2
"I can't do the play."
Hamlet 2
"What?"
Hamlet 2
"My dad's making me quit the play."
Hamlet 2
"That's impossible. You're the lead."
Hamlet 2
"He said, "No way.""
Hamlet 2
"Goddamn macho bastards and their fear of the arts."
Hamlet 2
"They just don't get it!"
Hamlet 2
"Okay, we're fighting this."
Hamlet 2
"Even if we have to take on the whole ghetto."
Hamlet 2
"No, wait. What do you mean?"
Hamlet 2
"We're going to your house. Now."
Hamlet 2
"No, no, no, we can't do that."
Hamlet 2
"It's not a good idea."
Hamlet 2
"My father tried to stand in the way of my dreams, too."
Hamlet 2
"He's dead now,"
Hamlet 2
"but you could say, like Hamlet's ghost, I'm still haunted by him."
Hamlet 2
"Because he caused me so much pain,"
Hamlet 2
"which is why I tried to become an actor,"
Hamlet 2
"which caused me so much pain."
Hamlet 2
"You can't let your ethnic narrow-mindedness"
Hamlet 2
"stop your son from thriving in our culture."
Hamlet 2
"I have to take exception to that characterization."
Hamlet 2
"Heywood's a bad boy."
Hamlet 2
"He's a gang-banger. A deadbeat."
Hamlet 2
"But he also has a gift."
Hamlet 2
"Who is Heywood?"
Hamlet 2
"Your son, Heywood Jablomey."
Hamlet 2
"Oh."
Hamlet 2
"I just got that."
Hamlet 2
"Octavio doesn't belong to a gang."
Hamlet 2
"He's got a 3.9 and an early acceptance to Brown."
Hamlet 2
"He does?"
Hamlet 2
"Yes, our concerns about the play are of a different nature."
Hamlet 2
"If it's the sex and violence, I can totally tone that down."
Hamlet 2
"No, we are fine with those."
Hamlet 2
"Then what is it?"
Hamlet 2
"We merely expressed our absolute distaste for a sequel"
Hamlet 2
"to what is arguably the greatest play in the English language."
Hamlet 2
"Not to mention the quality of the writing, which is quite low."
Hamlet 2
"Well, no offense, but what the hockey-puck do you know?"
Hamlet 2
"Well, I've published nine novels."
Hamlet 2
"I have a PhD in literature."
Hamlet 2
"My wife is a painter."
Hamlet 2
"She currently has an exhibit at the Guggenheim in Bilbao."
Hamlet 2
"Oh, okay."
Hamlet 2
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