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Clips from The Office - The Alliance (S01E01)

"- Michael? - Just a sec."
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"- Are you done yet? - Almost there."
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"Ok. Just a second. It is perfect."
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"Thank you, excellent, here we go."
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"It is time, thank you, ok come one! Let's go! Get the cake, let's go."
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"Here we go! Come on come on come on!"
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"Be quiet."
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"Wait this isn't gonna work. The lid is open."
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"- So tape it down. - I can't do that,"
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"- then you won't be able to breathe. - I can breathe just fine, ok?"
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"But if it makes you feel better, I'll poke holes in the box."
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"- Thank you. Thank you, - Ok."
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"Surprise!"
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"- Surprise! - No, it's..."
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"It's surprise Meredith! One, Two."
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"Happy birthday to you"
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"- Find the key. - Happy birthday."
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"So you want me to stay here, and stand next to the box."
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"No, you need to go upstairs to the party."
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"- So people don't notice we're both gone. - Right. That's good."
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"Can I trust Jim? I don't know."
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"Do I have a choice? No."
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"Frankly I don't. Will I trust Jim? Yes."
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"Should I trust Jim?"
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"You tell me."
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"Happy birthday to you, Meredith..."
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"Happy birthday to you, and many more"
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"- You were surprised weren't you? - Yes."
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"You looked freaked, man, when we said surprise"
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"You were like, "what? What the hell is going on here?"
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"- Ice cake. Why don't you have some? - I can't."
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"- Come on, a little bit, a little bit. - No I can't eat dairy."
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"Oh right. Oh god too bad it's so good."
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"That makes me sick."
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"You know what if I were allergic to dairy I think I'd kill myself."
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"This is way way too good."
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"- He's in a box? - Pam, he's in a BOX."
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"He's downstairs, in a box, on the floor near the shells."
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"So you just go down there, and work your magic."
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"Hey! Where are you? Yeah, we were supposed to meet here!"
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"What?"
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"Oh my Gosh!"
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"That ties in perfectly with something that Michael was telling me earlier!"
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"I just don't know what some of the people in like accounting are gonna do."
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"It's not specifically that..."
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"Hey Jim, good party eh?"
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"Just a little someí wiped up you know a little moral boost, no big deal."
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"Speaking of which I meant to tell you, very impressive,"
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"the donation you gave to Oscar's charity."
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"- Was that twenty-five bucks? - Well no, yeah you know."
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"Money isn't everything Jim. Not the key to happiness."
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"You know what is? Joy."
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"You should remember that, maybe give more than three dollars next time."
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"Yeah well, three dollars a miles will end up like fifty bucks."
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"So, god, can't even calculate what you're gonna have to give."
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"Is Oscar around?"
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"I just thought it was a kind of a flat, you know,"
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"twenty-five dollars one time donation."
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"Didn't think it was a per-mile kind of deal, you know so..."
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"- Well, that's what a walk-athon is. - I know."
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"It says here right on the sheet."
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"Look look at the sheet, it says "it's however many dollars per-mile"."
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"Got it, yes so it does."
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"I just think it's kind of cheap to undonate money to a charity."
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"No, no no no. I wasn't I wasn't, no no,"
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"It's it's not about the money."
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"It's just it it... It's the ethics of the thing,"
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"Oscar."
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"How's your nephew? Is he in a good shape?"
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"- Yeah. - How many miles did he do last year?"
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"- Last year he walked eighteen miles. - Son of a bitch!"
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"That is impressive, good for him."
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"- Happy birthday Meredith. - Read it out loud!"
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"Say who wrote everything. So we know whose is the best."
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"Happy bird-day."
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""Meredith, good news! You're not actually a year older,"
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"Because you work here, where time stand still.""
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"- Not bad. - That was Stanley."
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""Meredith, happy birthday"
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"You're the best, love Pam.""
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"Thanks darer."
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"This is from Michael:"
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""Meredith. Let's hope that the only downsizing that happens to you..."
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"Is that someone downsizes your age.""
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"Because of the downsizing. Rumours."
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"And because you're getting old."
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"No, I, I get it."
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"- It's funny. - You didn't get the joke."
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"That's cool, that's you know what actually"
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"I have a bunch of these,"
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"good ones that I didn't use."
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"What was that? Oh ok! Here's a good one."
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""Meredith, Liz Taylor called, she wants her age back and her divorces back"."
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"Cause Meredith has been divorced like, twice. Is that right?"
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"- You're right. - Is that right?"
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"- Ok. - You're right. Yes"
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"Divorce..."
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"Oh ok, "Meredith is so old...""
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"- "How old is she?" - Right everybody, you can do it?"
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""Meredith is so old...""
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"- How old is she? - "She's so old..."
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"She went into an antique store and they kept her"."
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"That wasn't even mine, I got that off the internet. Website."
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"Don't get mad at me."
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"- Nice party Michael. - This isn't my fault."
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"Ladies, not your best effort. Streamers?"
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"You could have done better than that don't you think?"
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"- Phyllis wanted red, I didn't. - Oh, boy."
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"Ok we, all right people hold on hold on."
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"Just a second ok, I think we're losing sight of what is really important here."
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"And that is that we are..."
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"A group of people who work together."
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"I was, I really wasn't gonna with on this."
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"I've made a very sizable donation to Oscar's nephews"
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"walk-athon."
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"Twenty-five dollars."
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"- Per mile. - Per-mile, yes."
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"When I retire I..."
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"I don't want to just disappear to one island somewhere."
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"I want to be the guy who gives everything back."
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