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Clips from The Office - The Alliance (S01E01)

"- Michael! - Oh god, Dwight come on!"
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"I wanted to talk to you about the downsizing."
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"There's no downsizing."
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"But if there were, I'd be protected as assistant regional manager?"
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"- Assistant to the regional manager Dwight. - Yeah, so I don't have to worry?"
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"Look look look, I talked to corporate,"
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"About protecting the sales staff and they said they couldn't guarantee it"
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"If there's downsizing. Ok? But, there's no downsizing."
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"Bottom line. Do I need to be worried?"
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"Maybe."
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"It looks like there's gonna be downsizing."
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"That is part of my job, but..."
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"I hate it"
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"I think the main difference between me and Donald Trump"
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"Is that I get no pleasure out of saying the words "you're fired""
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""You're fired", "you're fired"."
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"He just makes people sad."
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"And an office can't function that way."
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"No way. "You're fired"."
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"I think that if I had a catch phrase it would be,"
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""you're hired, and you can work here as long as you want"."
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"But that's unrealistic so..."
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"It's a real shame,"
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"cause studies have shown that more information get passed through,"
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"water cooler gossips than through official memos,"
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"Which puts me in a disadvantage because"
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"I bring my own water to work."
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"- Why did you do this? - I didn't do it."
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"What do you mean?"
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"The water cooler was brought over here for..."
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"Maintenance."
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"So why are you guys here?"
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"What's the schedule bud'?"
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"Gets that, for operation moral improvement,"
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"Starring Michael Scott."
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"Now I think I had a little stroke of genius,"
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"in that I have had my assistant Pam,"
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"smile Pam, I have had her go out and find out whose birthday,"
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"is coming up, so we can have a little celebration for it."
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"Not bad, not bad at all, all right."
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"And the birthday person is: Drum roll please...."
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"who is it? Whose the birthday?"
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"Actually we don't have any staff birthdays coming up."
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"- Next person on the calendar. - Ok."
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"- That would be Meredith. - Yes all right."
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"- Come on down Meredith! - But it's not until next month."
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"Ok."
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"Great! you know, it will be a surprise."
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"- You still want to have a party? - Yeah why not, sure,"
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"go ahead! Lead a little. Come on Pam."
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"Come on shake it up, shake it in."
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"Shake it up."
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"Spok, is there any signs of life down there?"
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"Well, let me check captain."
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"No captain no signs of life down there."
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"Just a wet blanket, named Pam."
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"Star Trek."
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"Well for decorations maybe we could..."
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"- Stupid forget it. - What?"
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"I was just gonna say maybe we could have streamers but,"
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"that's dumb. Everybody have streamers."
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"- Never mind - No, yeah, I think that's a good idea."
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"What color do you guys think?"
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"Well there's green."
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"Blue."
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"Yellow."
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"- Red. - How about green?"
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"I think green is kind of whorish."
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"This was tough."
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"I suggested we flip a coin."
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"But Angela said she doesn't like to gamble."
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"Of course by saying that she was gambling that I wouldn't smack her."
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"These are my party planning biatches,"
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"Pulled off an amazing eighties party last year."
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""Off the hook"!"
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"So I was thinking, if you haven't already got the cake..."
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"Maybe going for one of those ice cream cakes from Baskin Robbins..."
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"they're very good. Very delicious."
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"Meredith is allergic to dairy so..."
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"She's not the only one that's gonna be eating right?"
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"I think everybody likes ice cream cake."
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"It's not, not just about her so..."
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"- It's her birthday. - Mint chocolate chip!"
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"Would be good."
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"Hey, so listen, I was thinking that it might be a good idea..."
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"if you and I formed an alliance."
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"Because of the downsizing."
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"I think an alliance might be a good idea."
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"You know, help each other out."
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"Do you want to form an alliance?"
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"With me?"
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"- Absolutely I do. - Good, good."
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"Excellent, ok, now we need to figure out who's vulnerable..."
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"who's protected the..."
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"At that moment I was just so happy."
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"I mean everything Dwight does, annoys me."
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"Did you get your tickets?"
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"To what?"
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"The gun show."
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"And I spend..."
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"hours thinking of ways to get back at him..."
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"but only ways that would get me arrested."
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"Then here he comes and he says "no, Jim, here's a way"."
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"Just one other thing and this is important."
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"Let's keep this alliance totally a secret."
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"Yeah."
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"Don't tell anyone."
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"- An alliance? - Oh, yeah."
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"What does that even mean?"
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"I think it has something to do with "survivor", but I'm not sure."
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"I know that it involves spying on people and we may build a fort, Pam."
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"Jim? Hey, Hi Pam."
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"Can I talk to you a second about the paper products?"
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"- Did you tell Pam about the alliance? - No!"
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"- Just now! - Oh no, no, no!"
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"Dwight no. I'm using her..."
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"for the alliance, who knows the most information about this office?"
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"- Pam! Right. - That's good, good, pursue this!"
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"I'm trying to,. Do you see what I'm doing?"
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"But listen, I'm gonna have to talk to her a lot."
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