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Clips from Weeds - Cankles (S03E03)

There's $100 buy-in at Commerce in an hour and I'd really like to be there, so...

"There's $100 buy-in at Commerce in an hour and I'd really like to be there, so..."

Weeds

You're mugging me, you piece of shit. You'll take a minute to listen to what I say.

"You're mugging me, you piece of shit. You'll take a minute to listen to what I say."

Weeds

My smart son, Shane, took me to a store yesterday.

"My smart son, Shane, took me to a store yesterday."

Weeds

- Panorama City, off the 405. - Can I know where this is going?

"- Panorama City, off the 405. - Can I know where this is going?"

Weeds

Spyware store. You ever been there? It was my first time.

"Spyware store. You ever been there? It was my first time."

Weeds

Bought myself a teeny little microphone that you hide inside your blouse.

"Bought myself a teeny little microphone that you hide inside your blouse."

Weeds

Records everything you say.

"Records everything you say."

Weeds

Transmits it back to Shane's computer, actually, any computer.

"Transmits it back to Shane's computer, actually, any computer."

Weeds

Only 49.95.

"Only 49.95."

Weeds

Technology's come a long way.

"Technology's come a long way."

Weeds

And, since blackmailing's a felony,

"And, since blackmailing's a felony,"

Weeds

even when you do it to alleged drug dealers,

"even when you do it to alleged drug dealers,"

Weeds

you probably want me to keep this conversation to myself.

"you probably want me to keep this conversation to myself."

Weeds

You tell the police what I do for a living, not good for me.

"You tell the police what I do for a living, not good for me."

Weeds

I tell the police you blackmailed me,

"I tell the police you blackmailed me,"

Weeds

not good for you.

"not good for you."

Weeds

Understood.

"Understood."

Weeds

Now...

"Now..."

Weeds

I don't know who your client is but I have a pretty good idea.

"I don't know who your client is but I have a pretty good idea."

Weeds

Whether or not you tell her what I do is up to you

"Whether or not you tell her what I do is up to you"

Weeds

but I strongly advise against it.

"but I strongly advise against it."

Weeds

This is for me?

"This is for me?"

Weeds

Ha! It's a lovely morning after all!

"Ha! It's a lovely morning after all!"

Weeds

Go fuck yourself.

"Go fuck yourself."

Weeds

Honey, if I could, I'd save a fortune in strippers and alimony.

"Honey, if I could, I'd save a fortune in strippers and alimony."

Weeds

I'm off to Commerce. You wish me luck?

"I'm off to Commerce. You wish me luck?"

Weeds

So, how much do you have for me this time?

"So, how much do you have for me this time?"

Weeds

500?

"500?"

Weeds

200?

"200?"

Weeds

Some loose change?

"Some loose change?"

Weeds

I don't have anything.

"I don't have anything."

Weeds

- Shocking. - And it's your fault.

"- Shocking. - And it's your fault."

Weeds

Oh, really? How's that?

"Oh, really? How's that?"

Weeds

The private investigator you hired shook me down,

"The private investigator you hired shook me down,"

Weeds

took all the money I was gonna give you.

"took all the money I was gonna give you."

Weeds

- Shook you down? For what? - None of your goddamn business.

"- Shook you down? For what? - None of your goddamn business."

Weeds

But now I have nothing

"But now I have nothing"

Weeds

and, frankly, I'm pissed.

"and, frankly, I'm pissed."

Weeds

- You're pissed? - Yeah.

"- You're pissed? - Yeah."

Weeds

You didn't trust me and you really should have. I was gonna get your money.

"You didn't trust me and you really should have. I was gonna get your money."

Weeds

- Sure you were. - I was.

"- Sure you were. - I was."

Weeds

And, by the way, it wasn't even your money.

"And, by the way, it wasn't even your money."

Weeds

I was legally entitled to it.

"I was legally entitled to it."

Weeds

Mrs. Scottson number two. Me.

"Mrs. Scottson number two. Me."

Weeds

Not you.

"Not you."

Weeds

But now it's his, and that isn't my fault.

"But now it's his, and that isn't my fault."

Weeds

So, I guess the whole point is moot, actually.

"So, I guess the whole point is moot, actually."

Weeds

Then why are you here?

"Then why are you here?"

Weeds

I thought...

"I thought..."

Weeds

I needed a friend.

"I needed a friend."

Weeds

I don't... need a friend.

"I don't... need a friend."

Weeds

I don't need anybody.

"I don't need anybody."

Weeds

Don't call me.

"Don't call me."

Weeds

Bye.

"Bye."

Weeds

Please tell me you were just in the neighbourhood.

"Please tell me you were just in the neighbourhood."

Weeds

Your friend Celia came to Aguatecture.

"Your friend Celia came to Aguatecture."

Weeds

How the hell?

"How the hell?"

Weeds

She see anything? What does she know?

"She see anything? What does she know?"

Weeds

I was wondering the same thing, so I called her,

"I was wondering the same thing, so I called her,"

Weeds

cos I still had her number in my phone.

"cos I still had her number in my phone."

Weeds

And she told me to tell you she knows you fucked her boyfriend...

"And she told me to tell you she knows you fucked her boyfriend..."

Weeds

and she knows you're dealing again...

"and she knows you're dealing again..."

Weeds

and she'll be in touch.

"and she'll be in touch."

Weeds

She'll be in touch.

"She'll be in touch."

Weeds

How bad is this, Nancy?

"How bad is this, Nancy?"

Weeds