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Clips from Weeds - Cankles (S03E03)

"It's the same guy."
Weeds
"He's out there right now."
Weeds
"Who are you?"
Weeds
"Just surveying the water lines, ma'am. You haven't had any problems, have you?"
Weeds
"You're not surveying the water lines."
Weeds
"And you're not a fucking pool cleaner, either."
Weeds
"Who the hell are you?"
Weeds
""Private... Investigator.""
Weeds
"You mind if I have that card back? I'm running kind of low."
Weeds
"What do you want from me?"
Weeds
"Let's walk."
Weeds
"My client is interested in finding out a whole lot about you."
Weeds
"What client?"
Weeds
"Not at liberty to divulge that."
Weeds
"But you can tell me that you're a private investigator."
Weeds
"Yes, I'm comfortable with that."
Weeds
"I'm comfortable because..."
Weeds
"I feel..."
Weeds
"- You and I can do business together. - Really?"
Weeds
"I have a strong feeling, in fact,"
Weeds
"that in exchange for my discretion..."
Weeds
"with the police, with my client, dealing with your illegal activities"
Weeds
"you might want to give me some money."
Weeds
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
Weeds
"That doesn't matter. I have pictures. Dealers coming and going."
Weeds
"I even followed one, the gay Indian kid, on his rounds."
Weeds
"I have cellphone wiretaps. Some of it's static-ridden,"
Weeds
"I guess it's time to invest in that newer technology,"
Weeds
"but you getting the idea?"
Weeds
"Isn't that what Pellicano's going to jail for, illegal wiretaps?"
Weeds
"Inadmissible in court, absolutely."
Weeds
"Illegal? Yeah."
Weeds
"But if they were to show up, anonymously,"
Weeds
"at the DEA office..."
Weeds
"I bet an extensive investigation would ensue."
Weeds
"- How much do you want? - I'm not greedy."
Weeds
"I work for a living."
Weeds
"- Fifty thou oughta do the trick. - Fuck me!"
Weeds
"Tempting, but... I like blondes with big, fake tits."
Weeds
"I'll have it in cash."
Weeds
"- Ten. - Fifty."
Weeds
"- Twenty. - Fifty."
Weeds
"Come on, please?"
Weeds
"You can buy plenty of blondes with big, fake tits for twenty."
Weeds
"OK, since you asked so nice, tw... th... f..."
Weeds
"fifty."
Weeds
"God, you're a real prick."
Weeds
"Mm, I know."
Weeds
"You and my wife would totally bond on that."
Weeds
"So, any-who, here's what you're gonna do."
Weeds
"Meet me here, tomorrow morning,"
Weeds
"at ten"
Weeds
"with the moolah."
Weeds
"Look, it's gonna take me a little more time than 24 hours"
Weeds
"to come up with that much money."
Weeds
"- You're a drug dealer. - With expenses."
Weeds
"Consider this one of them."
Weeds
"Hasta la tomorra!"
Weeds
"Son of a bitch."
Weeds
"Ohh, look who's here, my family."
Weeds
"Hey, family. Did you know that we're poor?"
Weeds
"We're really... poor."
Weeds
"Maybe we should cut down on our liquor purchases."
Weeds
"Oh, no. All the poor drink."
Weeds
"Yeah, I saw the poor this morning. They all had bottles in paper bags."
Weeds
"- That's what I need, a paper bag. - Wonderful idea."
Weeds
"You could put your bottle in it, and then vomit in it when you're done."
Weeds
"I don't vomit from drinking."
Weeds
"I vomit when I think about my life."
Weeds
"Isabelle, why don't you go for another walk?"
Weeds
"See? I'm not the only one who thinks she needs more exercise."
Weeds
"- I don't think you should be alone with her. - It's OK, honey."
Weeds
"Why don't you go to Shane's house or something, OK?"
Weeds
"Fine. I'll call in later."
Weeds
"Shane's house."
Weeds
"Ha!"
Weeds
"I will rock the House of Shane before I'm done."
Weeds
"Make some coffee, Celia."
Weeds
"Ohh."
Weeds
"Not so fast, roller-boy."
Weeds
"Aguatecture."
Weeds
"- I don't know what you're talking about. - Aguatecture."
Weeds
"- I don't know what you're talking about. - Fine."
Weeds
"And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you."
Weeds
"What the fuck? Wh..."
Weeds
"Tell me everything."
Weeds
"You're insane."
Weeds
"Yes, I am fucking insane."
Weeds
"Tell me everything."
Weeds
"Ow! God da..."
Weeds
"God damn it!"
Weeds
"Up until this point, I have avoided your nuts,"
Weeds
"because God knows what is inside that fucking diaper of yours."
Weeds
"But so help me, if you don't come clean,"
Weeds
"I will make sure a catheter is a permanent part of your anatomy."
Weeds
"- Bitch. - Perhaps."
Weeds
"Oh, God! Ow!"
Weeds
"Aagh! God!"
Weeds
"- Talk to me. - Fuck... you!"
Weeds
"OK, I'm done playing."
Weeds
"- Balls are next. - Stop! Oh! Ah!"
Weeds
"OK! OK! OK, please. Please don't hurt me any more. I'll talk."
Weeds
"Please don't hurt me any more. Aguatecture. Aguatecture!"
Weeds
"I'll tell you. Just take your foot off."
Weeds
"Please! I'll tell you everything!"
Weeds
"Lovely morning."
Weeds
"- Depends where you're sitting. - Ah, it's not so terrible."
Weeds
"You'll make more money."
Weeds
"There's always more money in your line of work."
Weeds
"And there's always more blackmail."
Weeds
"What's to stop you from coming back?"
Weeds
"- I give you my word. - You're blackmailing me."
Weeds
"You've threatened to destroy my life unless I give you money."
Weeds
"Yes, and now I promise I'll never do it again. Cross my heart."
Weeds
"I have kids."
Weeds
"I know. Took their pictures."
Weeds
"Handsome boys."
Weeds
"Can I have my money now?"
Weeds
"They're not just handsome, they're also smart."
Weeds
"Especially Shane. Off the charts."
Weeds
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