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Clips from Cheers - Whodunit? (S03E03)

OK, FOLKS.

"OK, FOLKS."

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JUST TO HELP YOU PASS THE TIME AWAY

"JUST TO HELP YOU PASS THE TIME AWAY"

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WHILE YOU'RE WAITING FOR YOUR TABLE UPSTAIRS,

"WHILE YOU'RE WAITING FOR YOUR TABLE UPSTAIRS,"

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I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU A LITTLE TRICK THAT NEVER FAILS

"I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU A LITTLE TRICK THAT NEVER FAILS"

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TO LEAVE PEOPLE WITH THEIR MOUTHS WIDE OPEN.

"TO LEAVE PEOPLE WITH THEIR MOUTHS WIDE OPEN."

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I'M GOING TO GUESS YOUR CORRECT AGE

"I'M GOING TO GUESS YOUR CORRECT AGE"

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BY ASKING YOU THREE SIMPLE QUESTIONS, OK?

"BY ASKING YOU THREE SIMPLE QUESTIONS, OK?"

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SOUNDS LIKE FUN.

"SOUNDS LIKE FUN."

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GOOD.

"GOOD."

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OK. FIRST QUESTION.

"OK. FIRST QUESTION."

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WHAT YEAR WERE YOU BORN?

"WHAT YEAR WERE YOU BORN?"

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YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING.

"YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING."

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PLEASE BEAR WITH ME, WILL YOU?

"PLEASE BEAR WITH ME, WILL YOU?"

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1949.

"1949."

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1949.

"1949."

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OK. SECOND QUESTION.

"OK. SECOND QUESTION."

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HOW MUCH YOU WEIGH?

"HOW MUCH YOU WEIGH?"

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ABOUT 185 POUNDS.

"ABOUT 185 POUNDS."

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185 POUNDS.

"185 POUNDS."

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OK. THIRD AND LAST QUESTION.

"OK. THIRD AND LAST QUESTION."

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WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?

"WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?"

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I'M A CARPET SALESMAN.

"I'M A CARPET SALESMAN."

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CARPET SALESMAN.

"CARPET SALESMAN."

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ALL RIGHT.

"ALL RIGHT."

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OK. I SHOULD HAVE AN ANSWER FOR YOU

"OK. I SHOULD HAVE AN ANSWER FOR YOU"

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RIGHT AFTER DINNER.

"RIGHT AFTER DINNER."

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AFTER DINNER?

"AFTER DINNER?"

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YEAH. I DIDN'T REALIZE I HAD TO CARRY A NUMBER.

"YEAH. I DIDN'T REALIZE I HAD TO CARRY A NUMBER."

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4...6 AND 7...

"4...6 AND 7..."

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* MAKIN' YOUR WAY IN THE WORLD TODAY *

"* MAKIN' YOUR WAY IN THE WORLD TODAY *"

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* TAKES EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT *

"* TAKES EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT *"

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* TAKIN' A BREAK FROM ALL YOUR WORRIES *

"* TAKIN' A BREAK FROM ALL YOUR WORRIES *"

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* SURE WOULD HELP A LOT *

"* SURE WOULD HELP A LOT *"

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* WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO GET AWAY? *

"* WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO GET AWAY? *"

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* SOMETIMES YOU WANNA GO *

"* SOMETIMES YOU WANNA GO *"

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* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *

"* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *"

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* AND THEY'RE ALWAYS GLAD YOU CAME *

"* AND THEY'RE ALWAYS GLAD YOU CAME *"

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* YOU WANNA BE WHERE YOU CAN SEE *

"* YOU WANNA BE WHERE YOU CAN SEE *"

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* OUR TROUBLES ARE ALL THE SAME *

"* OUR TROUBLES ARE ALL THE SAME *"

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* YOU WANNA BE WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *

"* YOU WANNA BE WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *"

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* YOU WANNA GO WHERE PEOPLE KNOW *

"* YOU WANNA GO WHERE PEOPLE KNOW *"

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* PEOPLE ARE ALL THE SAME *

"* PEOPLE ARE ALL THE SAME *"

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* YOU WANNA GO WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *

"* YOU WANNA GO WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *"

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GOOD AFTERNOON, EVERYBODY.

"GOOD AFTERNOON, EVERYBODY."

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[ALL] NORM!

"[ALL] NORM!"

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HEY, NORMY, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?

"HEY, NORMY, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?"

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YOU GOT ANYTHING PALE AND COLD?

"YOU GOT ANYTHING PALE AND COLD?"

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YEAH, BUT IT'S DIANE'S DAY OFF.

"YEAH, BUT IT'S DIANE'S DAY OFF."

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I'LL HAVE A BEER, THEN, I GUESS.

"I'LL HAVE A BEER, THEN, I GUESS."

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YOU'RE LOOKING A LITTLE GLUM, THERE, BUDDY. YOU GOT A PROBLEM?

"YOU'RE LOOKING A LITTLE GLUM, THERE, BUDDY. YOU GOT A PROBLEM?"

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YEAH. NEW BOSS JUST CHEWED ME OUT.

"YEAH. NEW BOSS JUST CHEWED ME OUT."

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SAYS I LACK ENTHUSIASM.

"SAYS I LACK ENTHUSIASM."

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WELL, IS THAT TRUE?

"WELL, IS THAT TRUE?"

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I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE. I GUESS. WHO CARES?

"I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE. I GUESS. WHO CARES?"

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WELL, HERE IT IS, DR. LUDLOW.

"WELL, HERE IT IS, DR. LUDLOW."

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REMEMBER, IT WAS DIANE'S IDEA TO EXPOSE YOU

"REMEMBER, IT WAS DIANE'S IDEA TO EXPOSE YOU"

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TO BOSTON'S SEAMY UNDERBELLY.

"TO BOSTON'S SEAMY UNDERBELLY."

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OH, FRASIER, COME ON.

"OH, FRASIER, COME ON."

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DR. LUDLOW WILL ENJOY A LITTLE QUAINT BOSTON PUB.

"DR. LUDLOW WILL ENJOY A LITTLE QUAINT BOSTON PUB."

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I WONDER WHO THE GUY IS WITH FRASIER AND DIANE.

"I WONDER WHO THE GUY IS WITH FRASIER AND DIANE."

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TALENT SCOUT FOR A GEEK SHOW.

"TALENT SCOUT FOR A GEEK SHOW."

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I DO WISH THAT I'D WORN A HEAVIER OVERCOAT.

"I DO WISH THAT I'D WORN A HEAVIER OVERCOAT."

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I HAD NO IDEA IT WOULD BE SO CHILLY UP HERE.

"I HAD NO IDEA IT WOULD BE SO CHILLY UP HERE."

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YES. I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT.

"YES. I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT."

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YOU'RE APOLOGIZING FOR THE WEATHER?

"YOU'RE APOLOGIZING FOR THE WEATHER?"

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WELL, YES, AND ALSO THE FACT THAT I'VE HAD THIS TOASTY GARMENT

"WELL, YES, AND ALSO THE FACT THAT I'VE HAD THIS TOASTY GARMENT"

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WHILE YOU'VE BEEN CHILLED.

"WHILE YOU'VE BEEN CHILLED."

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WHY DON'T YOU WEAR IT ON THE WAY HOME?

"WHY DON'T YOU WEAR IT ON THE WAY HOME?"

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WELL, WE'RE NOT EXACTLY THE SAME SIZE, FRASIER.

"WELL, WE'RE NOT EXACTLY THE SAME SIZE, FRASIER."

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RIGHT. I'M SORRY.

"RIGHT. I'M SORRY."

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AND YOU DON'T NEED TO KEEP APOLOGIZING!

"AND YOU DON'T NEED TO KEEP APOLOGIZING!"

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THAT'S ALL RIGHT, SIR. I DON'T MIND.

"THAT'S ALL RIGHT, SIR. I DON'T MIND."

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FRASIER.

"FRASIER."

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I'M SORRY. IT'S JUST THAT I TURN TO JELLY

"I'M SORRY. IT'S JUST THAT I TURN TO JELLY"

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WHEN I'M IN THE PRESENCE OF WITH MY MENTOR, DR. BENNETT LUDLOW.

"WHEN I'M IN THE PRESENCE OF WITH MY MENTOR, DR. BENNETT LUDLOW."

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FRASIER, THIS ATTITUDE OF YOURS WAS PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT

"FRASIER, THIS ATTITUDE OF YOURS WAS PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT"

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WHEN YOU WERE IN MY GRADUATE PROGRAM, BUT WE ARE PEERS NOW.

"WHEN YOU WERE IN MY GRADUATE PROGRAM, BUT WE ARE PEERS NOW."

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DID YOU HEAR THAT, DIANE? PEERS.

"DID YOU HEAR THAT, DIANE? PEERS."

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LUDLOW, GET US SOME BRANDIES!

"LUDLOW, GET US SOME BRANDIES!"

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NO, NO. I'M JUST KIDDING.

"NO, NO. I'M JUST KIDDING."

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I'LL GET THEM. DIANE, COULD YOU GIVE ME A HAND?

"I'LL GET THEM. DIANE, COULD YOU GIVE ME A HAND?"

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CERTAINLY. EXCUSE ME.

"CERTAINLY. EXCUSE ME."

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YOU NOTICED, DIDN'T YOU?

"YOU NOTICED, DIDN'T YOU?"

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OF COURSE I NOTICED. WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

"OF COURSE I NOTICED. WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?"

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THE ONLY THING WE CAN DO--IGNORE IT.

"THE ONLY THING WE CAN DO--IGNORE IT."

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IGNORE IT? THAT'S LIKE TELLING ME

"IGNORE IT? THAT'S LIKE TELLING ME"

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TO IGNORE YOUR FLY BEING OPEN.

"TO IGNORE YOUR FLY BEING OPEN."

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YES. VERY GOOD POINT.

"YES. VERY GOOD POINT."

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IT, UH... IT ISN'T, IS IT?

"IT, UH... IT ISN'T, IS IT?"

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WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM HERE, FOLKS?

"WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM HERE, FOLKS?"

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SAM, MY COLLEAGUE HAS DROPPED A CRUMB DURING DINNER.

"SAM, MY COLLEAGUE HAS DROPPED A CRUMB DURING DINNER."

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AND IN THE INTERVENING HOURS,

"AND IN THE INTERVENING HOURS,"

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IT HAS BECOME ENCRUSTED ON HIS TIE.

"IT HAS BECOME ENCRUSTED ON HIS TIE."

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SO WHAT? YOU COULD TAKE NORM'S TIE HERE,

"SO WHAT? YOU COULD TAKE NORM'S TIE HERE,"

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PUT IT IN A KETTLE, AND MAKE SOUP.

"PUT IT IN A KETTLE, AND MAKE SOUP."

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INCIDENTALLY, IT'S A LITTLE-KNOWN FACT

"INCIDENTALLY, IT'S A LITTLE-KNOWN FACT"

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THAT THE TIE WAS INVENTED IN ANCIENT TIMES

"THAT THE TIE WAS INVENTED IN ANCIENT TIMES"

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TO BE USED AS A BIB-- YOU KNOW, WIPE YOUR CHIN.

"TO BE USED AS A BIB-- YOU KNOW, WIPE YOUR CHIN."

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YOU MEAN THEY'RE THINKING OF CHANGING THAT?

"YOU MEAN THEY'RE THINKING OF CHANGING THAT?"

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WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL THE GUY THAT HE'S GOT A SPOT?

"WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL THE GUY THAT HE'S GOT A SPOT?"

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GEE, THAT'S AN IDEA.

"GEE, THAT'S AN IDEA."

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WHY DIDN'T WE JUST COME TO SAM IN THE FIRST PLACE?

"WHY DIDN'T WE JUST COME TO SAM IN THE FIRST PLACE?"

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SAM, YOU JUST DON'T SAY, "THERE'S A SPOT ON YOUR TIE,"

"SAM, YOU JUST DON'T SAY, "THERE'S A SPOT ON YOUR TIE,""

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TO A MAN THE STATURE OF DR. BENNETT LUDLOW.

"TO A MAN THE STATURE OF DR. BENNETT LUDLOW."

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THE BENNETT LUDLOW?

"THE BENNETT LUDLOW?"

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YOU'VE HEARD OF HIM, COACH?

"YOU'VE HEARD OF HIM, COACH?"

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NO.

"NO."

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COACH, HE'S ONLY ONE OF THE TRUE GIANTS OF PSYCHIATRY.

"COACH, HE'S ONLY ONE OF THE TRUE GIANTS OF PSYCHIATRY."

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AUTHOR, INNOVATOR, EDUCATOR,

"AUTHOR, INNOVATOR, EDUCATOR,"

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AND I'M NOT ASHAMED TO SAY, MY IDOL AND INSPIRATION.

"AND I'M NOT ASHAMED TO SAY, MY IDOL AND INSPIRATION."

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ALL RIGHT. YOU LEAN OVER, PRETEND YOU'RE ADMIRING HIS TIE TACK,

"ALL RIGHT. YOU LEAN OVER, PRETEND YOU'RE ADMIRING HIS TIE TACK,"

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THEN YOU JUST NIBBLE THE MORSEL OFF REAL QUICK.

"THEN YOU JUST NIBBLE THE MORSEL OFF REAL QUICK."

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WHO'S THE WISER?

"WHO'S THE WISER?"

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SAM IS RIGHT. WE HAVE TO TELL HIM.

"SAM IS RIGHT. WE HAVE TO TELL HIM."

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OF COURSE YOU'RE RIGHT.

"OF COURSE YOU'RE RIGHT."

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SAM, MAY WE HAVE THREE BRANDIES, PLEASE?

"SAM, MAY WE HAVE THREE BRANDIES, PLEASE?"

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AND I GUESS I'M THE ONE WHO SHOULD TELL HIM.

"AND I GUESS I'M THE ONE WHO SHOULD TELL HIM."

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AFTER ALL, I'M THE ONE WHO SUGGESTED BEEF WELLINGTON.

"AFTER ALL, I'M THE ONE WHO SUGGESTED BEEF WELLINGTON."

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BEEF WELLINGTON, YOU SAY?

"BEEF WELLINGTON, YOU SAY?"

Cheers

WHERE'S THAT TIE? SHOW ME.

"WHERE'S THAT TIE? SHOW ME."

Cheers

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