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Clips from Arrested Development - Whistler's Mother (S01E01)

"Michael was preparing for a meeting with the Bluth Company board..."
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"to decide what to do with some recently unfrozen funds."
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"Wow. Exciting, huh?"
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"- Finally getting some money. - What do you want, Lindsay?"
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"- I'd like some of that money. - Well, this money is for land."
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"Okay? We're not gonna burn through it like Dad did when he was in charge."
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"With his bad investments, and his corrupt dealings..."
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"- Mother's neck. - No, that was a good investment."
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"It is easier to look at now, isn't it?"
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"What if I told you that the money was for something really worthwhile?"
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"- Like what? - I want to have an affair."
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"Now, I'm not sure with who yet, but I'll need lingerie, waxings..."
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"These are some real costs, Michael."
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"- I take it things aren't getting better with Tobias. - What's that supposed to mean?"
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"Things hadn't been getting better with Michael's sister and her husband."
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"Even after she came up with a plan to get his attention."
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"Oh, my God. Listen to the radio."
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"I haven't heard this song since we first started dating."
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"I just feel like using my body."
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"Well, Lindsay, could you use it over there? I'm trying to grow."
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"Yeah. It's clear that's not gonna happen."
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"We had sex once in the last year, and he just laid there."
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"All right. Look, this money is for land."
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"I'm not gonna give you money to have an affair."
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"Why don't you pick something else to boost up your self-worth?"
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"How about, uh, charity? Why don't you get back to your roots?"
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"Well, it has been a while. All right!"
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"I'm gonna go do that right now."
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"You're gonna go get your hair done, aren't you?"
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"Well, if I'm gonna have an affair..."
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"Michael got a message he intended to ignore."
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"Until he read the next line."
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"- A matter ofland, Mom? - Oh, that's funny."
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"I meant a matter of'L' and 'D'... Life and death."
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"What is the matter of life and death?"
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"Buster's jaw clicks when he eats."
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"I think it's what's driving his friends away."
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"I sent him to Canada for an operation."
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"So I'll need some of that new money that just came in."
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"You know, Mom, if you want an operation that's really gonna help him..."
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"you ought to have them finally cut that cord."
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"- He needs me. - He doesn't need you."
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"You coddle him. He's too old to go running to his mommy with all his problems."
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"I seem to remember a certain someone..."
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"running to Mommy when his algebra teacher made an example of him."
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"Michael had been suspended when another boy cheated offhis test."
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"Tracy won't marry me. I won't get a job, and..."
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"What is this? What's happening?"
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"Let Mama take care of it."
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"I'll have a little chat with Mr. Vandenbosch."
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"The next day, Mr. Vandenbosch was not in school."
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"He was never heard from again."
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"I know life is not fair to women. Your children grow up, and they don't need you anymore."
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"And I seem to remember a certain grown man..."
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"who completely fell apart two weeks ago..."
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"when I taped over the Nova special that had the girl on it he liked."
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"That was Buster. That's my point."
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"George Michael, meanwhile, was at the frozen banana stand..."
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"when he thought he spotted a familiar face:"
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"Pop-Pop?"
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"Sorry, miss. Pop-Pop!"
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"- You think you saw Pop-Pop? - But with hair! Which is probably why..."
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"- he asked for my hair, remember? - Give Pop-Pop your hair!"
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"- Give me the hair! - It all adds up."
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"He stole somebody's hair, made a wig, knocked out the guard..."
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"tunnelled his way through a sewer line, and then stopped to get a candy apple..."
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"- on his way to Mexico! - Of course!"
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"- You're mocking me. - Of course."
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"Listen, I know what I saw, Maeby. And there's no other explanation."
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"So listen. My twin brother's in town. I want you to take care ofhim."
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"- You still see Uncle Oscar? - Tell you what."
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"Give him ten grand from the, uh, new cash."
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"- Just send him on his way. - Dad, the money is for the business, okay?"
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"- I'm not just gonna hand it all out. - Michael!"
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"This is my brother. Do you know what it's like to have a sibling..."
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"who has no source of income except for you?"
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"just one? No. No idea. It sounds wonderful though."
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"Look, the board is watching every move I make."
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"EspeciallyJordan. He's just waiting for me to screw up, so he can blow the whistle on me."
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"Why don't you just buy him out of his stock?"
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"No, no. He wants twice the value. But..."
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"Listen. Stop tellin' me what to do with the money, please?"
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"I've got a plan for the board meeting that's gonna take the gun right out ofJordan's hand."
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"Listen, you've got the money now. And you know my price."
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"You don't need a whistle-blower around here."
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"Interesting choice of words, Mr. Jordan."
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"He's right. We don't need a whistle-blower."
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"We need a building full of whistle-blowers."
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"Okay? Whistles."
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"I want this place to be honest. That's exactly why I had these made up for us."
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"When you see something wrong, I wa..."
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"There you go. I want you to report it. I want you to..."
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"Exactly. Just like that."
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"I want us to police ourselves as vigilant..."
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"Let's wait till something actually happens though. Okay, good fun."
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"All right. Hey. Enough!"
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"45, 46, 47..."
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"Okay, there's still three whistles left out there."
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"Who's got the whistles?"
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"- He kept one. - There's a good example of whistle-blowing."
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"But you've kept yours, so it's hurting your case."
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"I was in the bathroom when you asked for it back."
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"- No, he wasn't. - In any event..."
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"we are going to be responsible with this money."
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"Michael, I hope I'm not interrupting anything..."
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"but I'd love to get a hunk of that new company money."
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"I just need to prove to my wife that I can act like a man."
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"And it's not about sex. I don't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking."
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"- That's not what I was thinking. - Sorry, I just..."
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"- A quick question for Michael. - Is this about the money?"
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"- No! - What do you want?"
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"It's not about money in the sense that I'm saying, Here, Michael, take some money."
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"It's just more of a May I have some? kind of visit."
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"Don't you have a wife that you can ask now?"
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"- She left me. - For Tobias?"
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"- She left me. - For Tobias?"
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"- For me? - No!"
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"- She doesn't even like you. - I'm in love with your brother-in-law."
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"You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army?"
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"- No. Your sister's husband. - Michael? Michael!"
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