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Clips from Galavant - Joust Friends (S01E01)

"If it isn't Galavant. Long time, no see, old friend."
Galavant
"Nice beard."
Galavant
"I'm talking about her, of course,"
Galavant
"but the facial hair is nice, as well."
Galavant
"Sir Galavant wishes to enter the joust."
Galavant
"Oh, yes. That would have been a hoot."
Galavant
"But, unfortunately, we don't have the 100 shillings."
Galavant
"Ohh, times that tough since Madalena see'd-ya-later, huh, Gal?"
Galavant
"Can't even scrape together an entry fee?"
Galavant
"W-we got more than a pesky entry fee."
Galavant
"I offer forth the priceless Jewel of Valencia as collateral."
Galavant
"Absolutely not!"
Galavant
"The Jewel of Valencia is not collateral."
Galavant
"It is the cornerstone of My Kingdom. Wars have been waged over it."
Galavant
"So I'll put it in the same ballpark as the rooster, then?"
Galavant
"- Yeah. I think that sounds... yeah. - Yeah?"
Galavant
"Sir Galavant will fight the first match."
Galavant
"I can tell you want to bail."
Galavant
"I'll give you five seconds to bail."
Galavant
"I don't want to bail."
Galavant
"- I do. - You do?"
Galavant
"Oh, yes, I want to bail..."
Galavant
"Your mama out of jail when she gets arrested for prostitution."
Galavant
"You know what, Jean? It's... it's 1256."
Galavant
"Mm. The "your mama" jokes, they're getting really old."
Galavant
"Hmm, so is your mama."
Galavant
"Seriously, Jean. It's getting really worn out."
Galavant
"- So is... - Don't."
Galavant
"Your mama!"
Galavant
"Well, hello, there!"
Galavant
"Does this strap go on the front or the back?"
Galavant
"I have no idea. I haven't worn these in years."
Galavant
"It goes like..."
Galavant
"Ow! Hold on."
Galavant
"Yeah, um, feel the need to check in,"
Galavant
"'cause, remember, everyone I love dies if we lose that jewel,"
Galavant
"so you definitely got this, right?"
Galavant
"Yes. I've got this."
Galavant
"Oh, good God. Do I have to do everything?"
Galavant
"Galavant is the greatest hero of our entire kingdom."
Galavant
"He will not participate in a joust like some common knight."
Galavant
"This is a man who slays dragons."
Galavant
"He is the lord of the..."
Galavant
"- Sword. - Lo... no, sorry. I can't."
Galavant
"Fair enough."
Galavant
"Sir Galavant, we will advance you to the final on merit."
Galavant
"Does everyone agree?"
Galavant
"Fine by me."
Galavant
"I just got you one more night to find it."
Galavant
"We are not losing that jewel!"
Galavant
"And your armor's on backwards!"
Galavant
"I need you to win this joust, and you're in no condition to do that. Do you agree?"
Galavant
"I do not."
Galavant
"What... you're gonna train me?"
Galavant
"Mm."
Galavant
"Okay."
Galavant
"My father is a man's man who never got a male heir,"
Galavant
"so from time to time, I humored him and let him treat me as one."
Galavant
"You should stretch."
Galavant
"Oh, please. Heroes don't stretch."
Galavant
"Mm-hmm. Pick up your sword."
Galavant
"Uh..."
Galavant
"Is this your way of building my confidence?"
Galavant
"You're just gonna humiliate me all day long or..."
Galavant
"You're out of practice, out of shape."
Galavant
"It's all right to admit that you're afraid."
Galavant
"You're not gonna annoy me into doing this, Princess."
Galavant
"Galavant!"
Galavant
"She knocked me down, Princess. Is that what you want to hear?"
Galavant
"Yeah, she took the legs right out from under me."
Galavant
"So, yeah. Yeah, I'm afraid."
Galavant
"I'm afraid of what happens the next time I get knocked down."
Galavant
"Any man can get knocked down."
Galavant
"The hero is the man who gets back up."
Galavant
"Now... pick up your sword."
Galavant
"Ha!"
Galavant
"Ha!"
Galavant
"Ha!"
Galavant
"I don't see how this is helping."
Galavant
"15..."
Galavant
"16..."
Galavant
"Damn."
Galavant
"Aw."
Galavant
"Ha."
Galavant
"I think you're ready."
Galavant
"And if I'm not?"
Galavant
"Let me worry about that."
Galavant
"Want some company?"
Galavant
"Well..."
Galavant
"Hello, there."
Galavant
"Hi."
Galavant
"Can I interest you in a drink?"
Galavant
"No, no. Big joust coming up."
Galavant
"Mm, rumor has it that you like a good warm-up."
Galavant
"Well, hello..."
Galavant
""Hello, there." Yes, yes, yes. Let's proceed."
Galavant
"Cheers."
Galavant
"Mm! Mnh. What is this?"
Galavant
"Oh absinthe. It's not strong."
Galavant
"- But you are. - Oh."
Galavant
"Open wide!"
Galavant
"- Oh? - Like your mama."
Galavant
"Hmm? Come again?"
Galavant
"- Uh, nothing. - Mm-hmm."
Galavant
"Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup! All the way. Mm-mmm."
Galavant
"- We are going all the way tonight. - Mm-mm-mmm!"
Galavant
"Richard, could we please just eat separately?"
Galavant
"I don't know if I can stomach another display of..."
Galavant
"- What's going on? - Sit down."
Galavant
"- Richard, what kind of lame attempt is... - I said "sit," woman."
Galavant
"That's better."
Galavant
"- Wine? - Oh, I'm not sure if I..."
Galavant
"I'll be drinking an ale..."
Galavant
"From the bottle."
Galavant
"Yeah, I burped. Do you whiff it?"
Galavant
"Ladies and gentlemen,"
Galavant
"it is time for your main event!"
Galavant
"One joust for all the marbles!"
Galavant
"Also, a rooster. And a jewel."
Galavant
"Our first finalist, Sir Jean Hamm!"
Galavant
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