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Clips from Uncoupled - Chapter 5 (S01E01)

"Take a seat."
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"And why have you sought my help, Michael?"
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"My boyfriend left me, and I'm a little angry about it."
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"Which, of course, is natural, right?"
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"Everything is natural."
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"That's what natural means."
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"Are you ready to go to the first level?"
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"Yes?"
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"What's happening?"
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"That's one."
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"I don't feel any different."
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"We have only begun."
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"The journey takes time."
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"Oh, the journey takes time."
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"And I'm guessing you have to buy a package."
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"Are you ready to go to level two?"
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"Uh, okay."
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"That's two."
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"That's three. That's four."
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"Seven."
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"-That's… -That's 12…"
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"…13, 14, 15."
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"-That's 16. -Okay."
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"All right."
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"There you go."
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"That's it? I'm done?"
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"Do you think you're done?"
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"Well, I fell asleep around level ten,"
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"but yeah, sure, I'm done."
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"Thanks."
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"It was"
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"okay."
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"Oh! Don't forget your T-shirt."
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"Now do me!"
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"I'm next."
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"Four hundred dollars. That's a cut and color."
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"I'm madder now than when I went in."
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"Are you ready not to care? There, healed! What did he whisper to you, anyway?"
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"Oh, he told me if I wanted to have a fulfilling relationship,"
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"I had to get the man out of my bed."
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"What man? What man? That's the whole point. There is no man."
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"Metaphorical man. Metaphorical bed."
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"-Fuckin' Mia."
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"-I bet she gets a kickback. -Pfft."
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"Guy, come on, wake up!"
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"-Open your eyes!"
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"Hey, how's it goin'? Nice to see you."
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"Wow! What do you got goin' on here? Nice. Good to see you too."
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"-Michael? -Look at this."
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"Hi!"
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"Beautiful day, isn't it?"
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"This city is so alive."
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"The car honks, the buses, the crazies."
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"It's like a symphony."
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"And did you ever notice the pavement sparkles here? What is that, quartz?"
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"Oh no, you're so happy."
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"Like one of those people who just decided to kill themselves."
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"No, Stanley. I had an experience."
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"I woke up this morning, and get this,"
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"I was awake for 36 minutes before I once thought of Colin."
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"Thirty-six minutes!"
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"He's, like, gone. He's not in me anymore."
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"He is out there in this beautiful world, having his own adventure."
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"That's… good?"
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"Uh, it's a miracle."
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"-He only crossed my mind"
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"when I saw a magazine addressed to him."
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"Psychology Today. He's a new subscriber."
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"Isn't that sad?"
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"Because clearly, he's suffering,"
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"and that must have been going on for a long time before…"
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"-What's happening here? -And all I feel is compassion. Not anger."
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"He must have been so lonely, and he hid that from me."
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"That, along with all the moving boxes and packing tape."
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"I know!"
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"Poor Colin. You've gotta be in such enormous pain to behave that way."
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"-Are you crying for Colin?"
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"I'm crying for both of us."
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"And now that I have, I feel like this weight has lifted off me, and I'm free."
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"I'm open. And the world has already responded."
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"I got one of my clients to make an offer"
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"-on that one-bedroom in Chelsea."
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"And you know that that only happened because--"
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"Josh Gibson. The dermatologist my dad's trying to set me up with."
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"-I don't trust the universe that much. -Do you trust Google?"
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"I'm not sure being pimped out by your dad"
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"isn't the greatest idea of all time!"
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"Oh my God!"
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"See what happens when you're open?"
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"-Oh, we're gonna hug again. -Aw!"
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"Ben is one of my favorites, so I figured I'd like his son."
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"He's a problem-solver. He wants me to get out there."
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"You don't seem like much of a problem."
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"Anyway, he didn't really talk about you very much."
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"He, uh… he just looked at me and he said, "Do you have love in your life?""
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"-Please tell me you're joking. -It was really sweet."
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"And very brave, considering I had a scalpel in my hand."
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"Then I said, "No, not at the moment, but I'm open.""
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"And then he suggested you,"
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"which was a huge relief, considering he's not exactly my type."
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"I'm incredibly grateful I take after my mom."
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"Not that I love dating. There are a lot of weird guys out there."
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"Oh my God. I know. It's crazy now."
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"This guy the other night wanted to have sex with me without a condom."
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"Not how I was raised."
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"Well, not that my parents ever actually talked to me about sex."
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"They'd just tune the clock radio to Dr. Ruth."
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"Mm. I miss clock radios."
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"So now I don't date anyone under 40."
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"Which may mean that we are not a match?"
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"I'm both flattered"
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"and extremely worried that you operate on my dad with such poor eyesight."
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"Well, this has been fun."
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"What next?"
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"Oh, uh, listen, I like you a lot. I've been having fun as well."
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"But I'm not ready to have sex on a first date."
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"Oh! You--"
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"You-- you thought that we were gonna have sex tonight?"
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"Uh, no, I've been eating pasta. I meant dessert."
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"Oh, thank God."
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