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Clips from Uncoupled - Chapter 5 (S01E01)

-Oh! Oh God! -Oh my God. Um…

"-Oh! Oh God! -Oh my God. Um…"

Uncoupled

I am so sorry. Are you all right?

"I am so sorry. Are you all right?"

Uncoupled

No, no, no, no, it's fine.

"No, no, no, no, it's fine."

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-Um… -That was totally me.

"-Um… -That was totally me."

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Don't you just love living in New York?

"Don't you just love living in New York?"

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Grocery shopping one minute.

"Grocery shopping one minute."

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Hooking up with a hot guy the next.

"Hooking up with a hot guy the next."

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Totally.

"Totally."

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-Condoms?

"-Condoms?"

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Are you kidding? Nobody wears condoms now.

"Are you kidding? Nobody wears condoms now."

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-What? -Yeah.

"-What? -Yeah."

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-Where have you been? -A long-term relationship that just ended.

"-Where have you been? -A long-term relationship that just ended."

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The last time I had sex with a stranger, I was gloved up and layered.

"The last time I had sex with a stranger, I was gloved up and layered."

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My dick looked like Annie Hall.

"My dick looked like Annie Hall."

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Who? Anyway, it's a new world now.

"Who? Anyway, it's a new world now."

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There's PrEP. There's post-exposure medications.

"There's PrEP. There's post-exposure medications."

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We've given condoms and network TV back to the straight people,

"We've given condoms and network TV back to the straight people,"

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where they belong.

"where they belong."

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Right, but what about chlamydia, and herpes, and warts,

"Right, but what about chlamydia, and herpes, and warts,"

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and all the other things I read about waiting for my flu shot.

"and all the other things I read about waiting for my flu shot."

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You're a real glass-half-empty guy, aren't you?

"You're a real glass-half-empty guy, aren't you?"

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Just chill, man.

"Just chill, man."

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Relax.

"Relax."

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How? I have been careful for 17 years, and you clearly do this all the time.

"How? I have been careful for 17 years, and you clearly do this all the time."

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-Mm. -Picking up strangers,

"-Mm. -Picking up strangers,"

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and fucking without condoms.

"and fucking without condoms."

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So you can forget about barebacking.

"So you can forget about barebacking."

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I can't get turned on when all I can see is my name on that quilt.

"I can't get turned on when all I can see is my name on that quilt."

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-What quilt? -Oh my God, you millennials!

"-What quilt? -Oh my God, you millennials!"

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Don't you know where we came from? Where you got your freedoms?

"Don't you know where we came from? Where you got your freedoms?"

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Don't you know what people like me…

"Don't you know what people like me…"

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Well, not me, a little bit older. But I've seen Angels.

"Well, not me, a little bit older. But I've seen Angels."

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Don't you know what we sacrificed for you?

"Don't you know what we sacrificed for you?"

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You know what I do know, Gandalf?

"You know what I do know, Gandalf?"

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You may be hot, but you're one bitter old queen.

"You may be hot, but you're one bitter old queen."

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He called me a bitter old queen. Can you believe that?

"He called me a bitter old queen. Can you believe that?"

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Everyone looks old in a grocery store. That overhead lighting.

"Everyone looks old in a grocery store. That overhead lighting."

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Pro tip. Wear a pink shirt for some bounce.

"Pro tip. Wear a pink shirt for some bounce."

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-I assume you met in the meat department. -Ha ha.

"-I assume you met in the meat department. -Ha ha."

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This is what I've become. This is what Colin has done to me.

"This is what I've become. This is what Colin has done to me."

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Well, Colin and time.

"Well, Colin and time."

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But come on, don't I have a right to be a little bitter?

"But come on, don't I have a right to be a little bitter?"

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Yeah. But you're angry at the whole world. The whole world didn't dump you.

"Yeah. But you're angry at the whole world. The whole world didn't dump you."

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If we could change the perennial subject, I wanna show you guys something.

"If we could change the perennial subject, I wanna show you guys something."

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Go ahead, swipe until you get to the picture of my mother

"Go ahead, swipe until you get to the picture of my mother"

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and her new cat, Wilhelm Munsch.

"and her new cat, Wilhelm Munsch."

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The '70s gay illustrator from Berlin.

"The '70s gay illustrator from Berlin."

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It's my new show at the gallery. I'm gonna put him on the map.

"It's my new show at the gallery. I'm gonna put him on the map."

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Kind of looks like old Tom of Finland stuff?

"Kind of looks like old Tom of Finland stuff?"

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Mustache. The leather cap.

"Mustache. The leather cap."

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Oh! More graphic than Tom.

"Oh! More graphic than Tom."

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This is what we do in the art world. Re-contextualize.

"This is what we do in the art world. Re-contextualize."

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Before Warhol, soup cans were just soup cans.

"Before Warhol, soup cans were just soup cans."

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The one on that guy actually looks like a soup can.

"The one on that guy actually looks like a soup can."

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All my biggest buyers are coming.

"All my biggest buyers are coming."

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And Irwin Stossel is going to freak when he sees this.

"And Irwin Stossel is going to freak when he sees this."

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His entire collection is focused on gay art, and…

"His entire collection is focused on gay art, and…"

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you can't get gayer than this.

"you can't get gayer than this."

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And it's not just vintage stuff.

"And it's not just vintage stuff."

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These, he did last year.

"These, he did last year."

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To stay modern. See what that guy's doing with his iPhone?

"To stay modern. See what that guy's doing with his iPhone?"

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Isn't the human anatomy amazing?

"Isn't the human anatomy amazing?"

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No condoms here either.

"No condoms here either."

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-Has the whole world gone crazy?

"-Has the whole world gone crazy?"

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I'm s--

"I'm s--"

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It's my dad.

"It's my dad."

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I gotta get back to work anyway. I'll see you guys later.

"I gotta get back to work anyway. I'll see you guys later."

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Jesus, this day!

"Jesus, this day!"

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-You wanna fix me up with who? -Dr. Gibson. My dermatologist.

"-You wanna fix me up with who? -Dr. Gibson. My dermatologist."

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I thought you were rooting for Colin and me to get back together.

"I thought you were rooting for Colin and me to get back together."

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Well, yeah, we were hoping, but--

"Well, yeah, we were hoping, but--"

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You know, even the greatest athlete knows when it's time to leave the field.

"You know, even the greatest athlete knows when it's time to leave the field."

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Well, I'm thrilled that you were able to heal and move on, Dad, but I--

"Well, I'm thrilled that you were able to heal and move on, Dad, but I--"

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You know what, never mind. I gotta go.

"You know what, never mind. I gotta go."

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I--

"I--"

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Man, you're comin' in hot.

"Man, you're comin' in hot."

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My dad wants to fix me up. Apparently, I'm supposed to be over this.

"My dad wants to fix me up. Apparently, I'm supposed to be over this."

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That Ben. So sweet. What do you think of this underwear?

"That Ben. So sweet. What do you think of this underwear?"

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Do you really need a pouch that big for your penis?

"Do you really need a pouch that big for your penis?"

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They're for Kai. He doesn't like to be confined.

"They're for Kai. He doesn't like to be confined."

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You buy underwear for your son?

"You buy underwear for your son?"

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I just went over the Claire Lewis file.

"I just went over the Claire Lewis file."

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Why is the escrow 45 days? That pushes our commission into the next quarter.

"Why is the escrow 45 days? That pushes our commission into the next quarter."

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We had to extend two weeks.

"We had to extend two weeks."

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Our buyers needed a little extra time to finesse the co-op board.

"Our buyers needed a little extra time to finesse the co-op board."

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It's one of those trickier buildings.

"It's one of those trickier buildings."

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That sounds like a you problem, not a Raffi problem.

"That sounds like a you problem, not a Raffi problem."

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Are you kidding with the Monday morning quarterbacking?

"Are you kidding with the Monday morning quarterbacking?"

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We got the listing. We got the sale.

"We got the listing. We got the sale."

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I'm sorry if our huge commission comes in two weeks too late

"I'm sorry if our huge commission comes in two weeks too late"

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to make you look like a star.

"to make you look like a star."

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Excuse me?

"Excuse me?"

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Are we done? Because Suzanne and I have work to do.

"Are we done? Because Suzanne and I have work to do."

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Only if you're done, though.

"Only if you're done, though."

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Oh, I'm done.

"Oh, I'm done."

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If this doesn't close, we'll have a different conversation.

"If this doesn't close, we'll have a different conversation."

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And you won't be the one yelling.

"And you won't be the one yelling."

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Jesus, Michael!

"Jesus, Michael!"

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This isn't like you. You yelled at him and used a sports metaphor?

"This isn't like you. You yelled at him and used a sports metaphor?"

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I know he clocked it too, 'cause a lot of his fur was standin' up.

"I know he clocked it too, 'cause a lot of his fur was standin' up."

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What is goin' on?

"What is goin' on?"

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Colin is what's going on.

"Colin is what's going on."

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He just dumped me out into this dating world I hate.

"He just dumped me out into this dating world I hate."

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So yes, I'm angry, and it's not going away.

"So yes, I'm angry, and it's not going away."

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Okay.

"Okay."

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This is crazy, but Mia… You know my friend Mia.

"This is crazy, but Mia… You know my friend Mia."

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The one with the 3D temple veins?

"The one with the 3D temple veins?"

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Not anymore. She got rid of her rage with a healer.

"Not anymore. She got rid of her rage with a healer."

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She's a different person now.

"She's a different person now."

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Are you serious? You want me to go see some guru?

"Are you serious? You want me to go see some guru?"

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I'm gonna try it. You think you're the only one with relationship issues?

"I'm gonna try it. You think you're the only one with relationship issues?"

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You? You're always dating.

"You? You're always dating."

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Eh, some of them are okay, but nobody really gets me goin'. You know?

"Eh, some of them are okay, but nobody really gets me goin'. You know?"

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It's like a pile of autumn leaves down there. So, you free tonight?

"It's like a pile of autumn leaves down there. So, you free tonight?"

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And now, present and awake,

"And now, present and awake,"

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we turn to healing.

"we turn to healing."

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Michael Lawson, please come forward.

"Michael Lawson, please come forward."

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Seriously? Why do I have to go first? Come with me.

"Seriously? Why do I have to go first? Come with me."

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-No. Just try to be open. Go, go, go, go! -I--

"-No. Just try to be open. Go, go, go, go! -I--"

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Hi.

"Hi."

Uncoupled

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