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Clips from A League of Their Own - The Cut Off (S01E01)

"Wait, why? What happened?"
A League of Their Own
"Oh... Don't listen to her. What are you gonna spend yours on? Go."
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"Um..."
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"- I'm probably just gonna save it. - Okay."
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"Yeah. Charlie and I don't have that much, and, um,"
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"he did always talk about wanting to buy a house someday."
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"- So... - Oh. That's nice."
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"Well, I'm gonna spend it all."
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"Maybe on a real live fur coat!"
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"- [giggles] - Oh, wow."
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"- Well, probably not a live one, right? - Yeah."
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"Though I wonder how much that would cost."
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"Say, Dove, why don't you tell our readers about what it was like facing Joltin' Joe?"
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"Oh, God. Facing DiMaggio was like reeling a tarpon during a twister."
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"- Okay. - But even he could never hit my forkball. Not once."
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"[clears throat]"
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"Oh, and this little lady is gonna continue the forkball tradition."
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"Thanks, Coach. I'm really just happy to be getting some in there."
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"Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the time I get done with her,"
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"her arm's gonna be meaner than Bob Feller."
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"You can call her Li'l Dove."
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"- [reporter] Okay. - No, better yet, better yet, the Spanish Striker."
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"Oh!"
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"[Dove] Right? Margarita on the Mound,"
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"grew up in Texas from one of the Spanish counties."
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"[reporter] Right, right. Spice."
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"Maybe we should have told him I write for the Tribune."
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"- Then e would have given us the time of day. - Pshh."
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"Oh! Sorry, Shaw, I didn't mean to talk bad"
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"- about your little daddykins. - [Jo laughs]"
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"He's not my daddy. He's a jerk."
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"Oh! Look who finally decided to join the party!"
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"Hey! We don't need a "Told you so," we need a plan."
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"We can't practice for two hours a day and win"
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"when the Blue Sox are practicing for six hours a day."
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"Don't worry about it. I have everything under control."
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"[reporter] All right, tell us more about the Majors."
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"Ted Williams. Tell me more about Ted."
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"Well, I would never kiss and tell, but, uh, I did make love to Ted one time."
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"[laughs]"
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"- Okay! Thank you! - That was in the Minors."
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"- [reporter] Dove, thanks, man. - [Dove] Good to see ya."
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"Maybe you wanna speak to one of our other players?"
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"Or you can come to the games, you know?"
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"We could, uh, really use the coverage."
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"Yeah, you know what? [sighs]"
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"The only reason I'm here is because your boss threatened to pull his candy bar ads"
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"if I didn't give him a headline. Don't push your luck."
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"Hey, Coach."
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"My elbow's a little tweaked. Do you think it's my grip or something?"
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"Well, I'll tell you something Red Ruffing asked me,"
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""You think you're hurt, buddy? Or are you just tired?""
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"Oh. Yeah, no, I'm just tired."
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"- You sure? - Yeah. Yeah, I'm good."
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"Good man."
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"- Hello, Dove. - [Dove] Ladies."
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"No."
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"[sighs] Uh, Coach. Uh, sugar cream."
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"Made it myself. It's not my finest."
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"But I just wanted to give you a token of our appreciation."
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"Thank you, Shaw."
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"Uh, my ex-wife used to make me pies."
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"- This one reminds me of her complexion. - Oh."
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"Understandably, I'm more of what you would call a muffin man."
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"- Mmm. - In any case, we'll pass this around later."
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"- Okay. - Right now, we're practicing our sport."
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"- Thanks. - Yeah, about the baseball practice,"
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"I would love..."
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"to talk more."
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"Wow."
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"- A pie? - A pie."
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"That was your big plan? Bake him a pie?"
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"Okay, it was a conversation pie."
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"- Oh, it was a conversation pie. - A conversation pie? Of course."
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"All right, I was gonna give it to him and then we'd get to chatting,"
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"and then I could casually suggest, you know, practicing cutoffs and rundowns,"
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"and practicing more in general. And then maybe, just maybe, we could get a goddamn game"
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"under our belt! A win!"
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"Okay, see ,now that actually sounds good. You should just say that."
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"Yeah. I mean, I'm just waiting for the right time."
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"I mean, clearly he prefers muffins, so..."
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"- Muffins? - You know what?"
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"I'll go talk to Dove. Man to man."
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"- That's right. Go for it. - Oh, Miss Gill."
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"Yeah."
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"A gentleman has requested the opportunity to take you out to dinner this Saturday."
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"Ooh! Is he cute?"
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"He was a man with a shirt."
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"And an interest in the Peaches, which is a rare breed these days."
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"Hmm."
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"I'll tell him to expect us then?"
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"Us? Are you going on my date with me?"
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"League rules require that chaperones accompany players out with men."
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"I've been told my conversation skills are adequate."
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"Can't wait."
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"[Dove] Yeah, you think so? Get moving!"
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"What the hell?"
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"[Dove] You gonna tell me how to coach?"
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"Run faster! Get those hooves moving!"
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"- Give me 20 more. - Hey! Lay off her."
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"Hey, De Luca said I should push the team harder,"
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"so I'm just giving a little extra push. Pick up those hooves!"
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"- [Dove] You wanna join me, lips? - I do wanna join."
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"Take one more step, I'll give you 100."
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"A hundred more? I could do 100 more."
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"Greta, stop. He's gonna make it worse."
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"[Dove] I played in the Bigs."
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"You wanna tell me how to coach a team of ladies in skirts?"
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"I didn't think so."
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"[whistle blows]"
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"[Lou] Gentlemen, welcome to Rockford Tool and Screw."
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"We make the parts that hold America together."
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"Some people might say, "Screw screws!""
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"But what's a tank without screws?"
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"Just a pile of metal."
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"An airplane? Also a pile of metal."
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"A rifle? A slightly smaller..."
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"All right, we get the point, right?"
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"What now, Karen?"
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"There's a problem with one of your recruits."
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