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Clips from Cheers - Fairy Tales Can Come True (S03E03)

COME ON, GUYS. CLIFF IS NOT GAY, ALL RIGHT?

"COME ON, GUYS. CLIFF IS NOT GAY, ALL RIGHT?"

Cheers

HE'S JUST SHY AROUND WOMEN

"HE'S JUST SHY AROUND WOMEN"

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TO THE POINT OF BEING A BLITHERING IDIOT.

"TO THE POINT OF BEING A BLITHERING IDIOT."

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DIANE, THAT WAS A COLLEAGUE OF MINE ON THE PHONE,

"DIANE, THAT WAS A COLLEAGUE OF MINE ON THE PHONE,"

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A REICHIAN ANALYST. HE'S TAKEN ILL.

"A REICHIAN ANALYST. HE'S TAKEN ILL."

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HE WANTS ME TO TAKE HIS PLACE TOMORROW AT AN ALL-DAY SEMINAR

"HE WANTS ME TO TAKE HIS PLACE TOMORROW AT AN ALL-DAY SEMINAR"

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ON MULTIPLE PERSONALITY AT THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO,

"ON MULTIPLE PERSONALITY AT THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO,"

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SO I GOT TO GO HOME AND PACK.

"SO I GOT TO GO HOME AND PACK."

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WE WON'T BE ABLE TO GO TO THE CONCERT.

"WE WON'T BE ABLE TO GO TO THE CONCERT."

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WELL, I WON'T, BUT YOU CAN STILL GO.

"WELL, I WON'T, BUT YOU CAN STILL GO."

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LISTEN, TAKE ALONG A FRIEND, AND--

"LISTEN, TAKE ALONG A FRIEND, AND--"

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WELL, SAM INDICATED SOME INTEREST.

"WELL, SAM INDICATED SOME INTEREST."

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SAM?

"SAM?"

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I THINK I COULD FIND MORE STIMULATING COMPANY

"I THINK I COULD FIND MORE STIMULATING COMPANY"

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FOR THE CONCERT.

"FOR THE CONCERT."

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I WOULDN'T HAVE TO LOOK ANY FARTHER

"I WOULDN'T HAVE TO LOOK ANY FARTHER"

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THAN THE NEAREST PETRI DISH.

"THAN THE NEAREST PETRI DISH."

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BUT ONCE AGAIN, I AM STARTLED

"BUT ONCE AGAIN, I AM STARTLED"

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BY HOW FAR YOU ARE ABOVE PETTY EMOTION LIKE JEALOUSY.

"BY HOW FAR YOU ARE ABOVE PETTY EMOTION LIKE JEALOUSY."

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WELL, I JUST FIGURED IT WAS TIME

"WELL, I JUST FIGURED IT WAS TIME"

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SAM LEARNED TO APPRECIATE INSTRUMENTS WITHOUT FUSES.

"SAM LEARNED TO APPRECIATE INSTRUMENTS WITHOUT FUSES."

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HA HA HA!

"HA HA HA!"

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GOOD-BYE, MY TINY ALICE.

"GOOD-BYE, MY TINY ALICE."

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GOOD-BYE, MY MAD MAD HATTER.

"GOOD-BYE, MY MAD MAD HATTER."

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HA!

"HA!"

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WELL, THERE ARE MANY THEORIES AS TO WHY THE FLORIDA ORANGE

"WELL, THERE ARE MANY THEORIES AS TO WHY THE FLORIDA ORANGE"

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IS FAR SUPERIOR TO ITS CALIFORNIA COUNTERPART.

"IS FAR SUPERIOR TO ITS CALIFORNIA COUNTERPART."

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NOW, I PERSONALLY THINK IT'S THE TRACE MINERAL ELEMENT

"NOW, I PERSONALLY THINK IT'S THE TRACE MINERAL ELEMENT"

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IN THE FLORIDIAN WATER.

"IN THE FLORIDIAN WATER."

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UH, THAT'S OBVIOUSLY DUE TO THE FREQUENCY OF THE TYPHOONS

"UH, THAT'S OBVIOUSLY DUE TO THE FREQUENCY OF THE TYPHOONS"

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AND THE NITROGEN-RICH ALLIGATOR GUANO.

"AND THE NITROGEN-RICH ALLIGATOR GUANO."

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NOW, UH, FURTHERMORE, THERE'S, UH--

"NOW, UH, FURTHERMORE, THERE'S, UH--"

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SAY! I JUST REMEMBERED I LEFT MY OVEN ON.

"SAY! I JUST REMEMBERED I LEFT MY OVEN ON."

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IF I HURRY HOME, I CAN STICK MY HEAD IN IT.

"IF I HURRY HOME, I CAN STICK MY HEAD IN IT."

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FLORIDA ORANGES ARE DELICIOUS.

"FLORIDA ORANGES ARE DELICIOUS."

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WHAT? NOTHING, NOTHING.

"WHAT? NOTHING, NOTHING."

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UH...HAVE YOU, UH, BEEN TO FLORIDA?

"UH...HAVE YOU, UH, BEEN TO FLORIDA?"

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NO, BUT IT'S ALWAYS BEEN

"NO, BUT IT'S ALWAYS BEEN"

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A CRAZY DREAM OF MINE TO GO.

"A CRAZY DREAM OF MINE TO GO."

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I READ THAT THEY HAVE

"I READ THAT THEY HAVE"

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THE WORLD'S LARGEST PAIR OF ALLIGATOR SHOES THERE.

"THE WORLD'S LARGEST PAIR OF ALLIGATOR SHOES THERE."

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THAT'S RIGHT! IN ORLANDO!

"THAT'S RIGHT! IN ORLANDO!"

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I EVEN SAT IN ONE OF THEM.

"I EVEN SAT IN ONE OF THEM."

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WOW! YEAH.

"WOW! YEAH."

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UH, W-WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

"UH, W-WHAT'S YOUR NAME?"

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TINKER BELL. WHAT'S YOURS?

"TINKER BELL. WHAT'S YOURS?"

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ME? UH...I GUESS IT'S PONCE DE LEON.

"ME? UH...I GUESS IT'S PONCE DE LEON."

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OH, THE FOUNTAIN- OF-YOUTH GUY THAT DISCOVERED FLORIDA!

"OH, THE FOUNTAIN- OF-YOUTH GUY THAT DISCOVERED FLORIDA!"

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[GASPS] WOULD YOU MARRY ME AND BEAR MY CHILDREN?

"[GASPS] WOULD YOU MARRY ME AND BEAR MY CHILDREN?"

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SAY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO IN THE BACK

"SAY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO IN THE BACK"

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AND MAYBE PLAY SOME POOL,

"AND MAYBE PLAY SOME POOL,"

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OR AS THEY SAY IN TALLAHASSEE,

"OR AS THEY SAY IN TALLAHASSEE,"

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"SHOOT SOME POCKET BILLIARDS"?

""SHOOT SOME POCKET BILLIARDS"?"

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I'D LOVE TO, MR. LEON.

"I'D LOVE TO, MR. LEON."

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OH, PLEASE, CALL ME PONCE.

"OH, PLEASE, CALL ME PONCE."

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IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE OUT TO CONQUER NEW TERRITORIES, PONCE.

"IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE OUT TO CONQUER NEW TERRITORIES, PONCE."

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HOLY GOD!

"HOLY GOD!"

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* DAY AFTER DAY

"* DAY AFTER DAY"

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* I STILL BELIEVE IN LOVE

"* I STILL BELIEVE IN LOVE"

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* YOU ARE THE ONE

"* YOU ARE THE ONE"

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* ONE THAT I'M DREAMING OF

"* ONE THAT I'M DREAMING OF"

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* I LOVE YOU

"* I LOVE YOU"

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* I LOVE

"* I LOVE"

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* YOU OH...

"* YOU OH..."

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DID ANYONE EVER TELL YOU

"DID ANYONE EVER TELL YOU"

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YOU DANCE DIVINELY, PONCE?

"YOU DANCE DIVINELY, PONCE?"

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YEAH, SOMEONE DID MENTION IT TO ME THE OTHER DAY.

"YEAH, SOMEONE DID MENTION IT TO ME THE OTHER DAY."

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LET'S SEE. WAS THAT CORTES OR PIZARRO?

"LET'S SEE. WAS THAT CORTES OR PIZARRO?"

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[LAUGHS]

"[LAUGHS]"

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SAM, I'M READY TO GO.

"SAM, I'M READY TO GO."

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WOULD YOU HAND ME MY PURSE?

"WOULD YOU HAND ME MY PURSE?"

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I'LL PUT A NEW TUNE ON THE JUKEBOX.

"I'LL PUT A NEW TUNE ON THE JUKEBOX."

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OH, I'M NOT USING A PAIR OF TICKETS TOMORROW

"OH, I'M NOT USING A PAIR OF TICKETS TOMORROW"

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FOR THE BOSTON POPS.

"FOR THE BOSTON POPS."

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UH, YOU'RE WELCOME TO HAVE THEM IF YOU'RE INTERESTED.

"UH, YOU'RE WELCOME TO HAVE THEM IF YOU'RE INTERESTED."

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UH...NO. NO. NO, THANK YOU.

"UH...NO. NO. NO, THANK YOU."

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OH, YOU'LL ENJOY IT!

"OH, YOU'LL ENJOY IT!"

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THE PROGRAM IS AN EVENING

"THE PROGRAM IS AN EVENING"

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FILLED WITH FIREWORKS AND LASER BEAMS,

"FILLED WITH FIREWORKS AND LASER BEAMS,"

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OCCASIONALLY INTERRUPTED WITH THE MUSIC OF GERSHWIN.

"OCCASIONALLY INTERRUPTED WITH THE MUSIC OF GERSHWIN."

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AH, NO--PFFOO, BOY!

"AH, NO--PFFOO, BOY!"

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I JUST CAN'T THINK OF WHO I'D TAKE.

"I JUST CAN'T THINK OF WHO I'D TAKE."

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MOST OF THE WOMEN I DATE DON'T LIKE MUSIC THEY CAN'T DANCE TO.

"MOST OF THE WOMEN I DATE DON'T LIKE MUSIC THEY CAN'T DANCE TO."

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MOST OF THE WOMEN YOU DATE

"MOST OF THE WOMEN YOU DATE"

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DON'T LIKE MUSIC THEY CAN'T SHED CLOTHING TO.

"DON'T LIKE MUSIC THEY CAN'T SHED CLOTHING TO."

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HOW COME YOU DON'T WANT TO GO?

"HOW COME YOU DON'T WANT TO GO?"

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OH, I DO, BUT FRASIER'S OUT OF TOWN.

"OH, I DO, BUT FRASIER'S OUT OF TOWN."

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I CAN'T THINK OF ANYONE I'D LIKE TO GO WITH.

"I CAN'T THINK OF ANYONE I'D LIKE TO GO WITH."

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UH-HUH.

"UH-HUH."

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I GUESS FRASIER WOULD FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE IF YOU AND I WENT, HUH?

"I GUESS FRASIER WOULD FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE IF YOU AND I WENT, HUH?"

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NO. ACTUALLY HE SUGGESTED IT.

"NO. ACTUALLY HE SUGGESTED IT."

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AH, WELL, SO YOU'D BE UNCOMFORTABLE, HUH?

"AH, WELL, SO YOU'D BE UNCOMFORTABLE, HUH?"

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NOT AT ALL.

"NOT AT ALL."

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WHILE YOU STILL HARBOR TORTURED LONGINGS FOR ME,

"WHILE YOU STILL HARBOR TORTURED LONGINGS FOR ME,"

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THE EMOTIONS ARE SO COMPLETELY UNRECIPROCATED,

"THE EMOTIONS ARE SO COMPLETELY UNRECIPROCATED,"

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I DON'T SEE WHY WE SHOULDN'T GO TOGETHER.

"I DON'T SEE WHY WE SHOULDN'T GO TOGETHER."

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THEN IT'S A DATE.

"THEN IT'S A DATE."

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UM, NO, NOT A DATE. I MEAN, NOT A DATE-DATE.

"UM, NO, NOT A DATE. I MEAN, NOT A DATE-DATE."

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WELL, IT'S, UH--

"WELL, IT'S, UH--"

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WHAT WOULD YOU CALL AN EVENING OUT WITH A WOMAN

"WHAT WOULD YOU CALL AN EVENING OUT WITH A WOMAN"

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WHEN YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO HOPE

"WHEN YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO HOPE"

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OF PHYSICAL INVOLVEMENT WHATSOEVER?

"OF PHYSICAL INVOLVEMENT WHATSOEVER?"

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A FIRST.

"A FIRST."

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[MUSIC SLOWS AND STOPS]

"[MUSIC SLOWS AND STOPS]"

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I'M SORRY.

"I'M SORRY."

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WELL, I GUESS IT'S TIME I BE HEADING BACK TO NEVER-NEVER LAND.

"WELL, I GUESS IT'S TIME I BE HEADING BACK TO NEVER-NEVER LAND."

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LET ME WALK YOU BACK TO YOUR CAR.

"LET ME WALK YOU BACK TO YOUR CAR."

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OH, NO, NO! THAT'S OK. IT'S RIGHT OUTSIDE HERE.

"OH, NO, NO! THAT'S OK. IT'S RIGHT OUTSIDE HERE."

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BUT I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHEN WE'RE GOING TO SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN.

"BUT I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHEN WE'RE GOING TO SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN."

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ACTUALLY, WE HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER AT ALL YET.

"ACTUALLY, WE HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER AT ALL YET."

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I KNOW!

"I KNOW!"

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LET'S MEET TOMORROW NIGHT RIGHT HERE ON THIS VERY SPOT

"LET'S MEET TOMORROW NIGHT RIGHT HERE ON THIS VERY SPOT"

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AS OURSELVES AT 8:00.

"AS OURSELVES AT 8:00."

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OK.

"OK."

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AND--AND... DON'T YOU BE A MINUTE LATE.

"AND--AND... DON'T YOU BE A MINUTE LATE."

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NICE ENOUGH YOUNG PERSON, HUH, SAM?

"NICE ENOUGH YOUNG PERSON, HUH, SAM?"

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WAY TO GO, CLIFFIE!

"WAY TO GO, CLIFFIE!"

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WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WAY TO GO, CLIFFIE?

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WAY TO GO, CLIFFIE?"

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YOU KNOW, IF I DIDN'T KNOW YOU,

"YOU KNOW, IF I DIDN'T KNOW YOU,"

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I'D SAY THAT YOU WERE PRETTY SMOOTH TONIGHT.

"I'D SAY THAT YOU WERE PRETTY SMOOTH TONIGHT."

Cheers

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