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Clips from Preacher - Pilot (S01E01)

"and a pair of frickin' Birkenstocks"
Preacher
"is gonna go on about that donkey show, man."
Preacher
"Listen, listen, boys."
Preacher
"No, no, no."
Preacher
"The place I'm gonna take you gentlemen..."
Preacher
"listen to me now... it's downright naughty."
Preacher
"Whoo! We know what you're talkin' about."
Preacher
"No, you don't, Dave. You don't know what I'm talkin' about."
Preacher
"Is it Dave? Look, Dave. Listen to me now."
Preacher
"To know what I'm talkin' about,"
Preacher
"you've had to have the kind of night"
Preacher
"that lands you in the hospital tryin' to figure out"
Preacher
"what the Spanish word is for ass hamster,"
Preacher
"for goodness' sake."
Preacher
"- [Laughter] - I'm serious."
Preacher
"Where's the bath? Is it down there, is it?"
Preacher
"Through the door."
Preacher
"Time to make a manky, gentlemen."
Preacher
"Listen... hamster del culo."
Preacher
"Write it down. I'm serious."
Preacher
"- He's serious. - [Laughter]"
Preacher
"[Sighs]"
Preacher
"♪ ♪"
Preacher
"[Laughter]"
Preacher
"[Laughter]"
Preacher
"_"
Preacher
"_"
Preacher
"_"
Preacher
"_"
Preacher
"_"
Preacher
"[Chatter]"
Preacher
"I'd steer clear of the head a day or three there, gents."
Preacher
"I just lost an argument with some kobe sliders."
Preacher
"Where's that giggle gun?"
Preacher
"I'm starting to feel me toes again here."
Preacher
"Come on, then."
Preacher
"[Laughter]"
Preacher
"Isn't that funny there?"
Preacher
"I really thought that T.J. was south of Vegas."
Preacher
"So, I might be wonderin'"
Preacher
"why we're headin' toward the sun there, boy."
Preacher
"♪ ♪"
Preacher
"Yeah, but what do I know?"
Preacher
"I'm just another shit-faced Irishman, am I not?"
Preacher
"Am I not just that? [Laughs]"
Preacher
"[Laughter continues]"
Preacher
"[Donnie Demers and Kenny Werner's We Could Have Had It All plays]"
Preacher
"Aah!"
Preacher
"♪ ♪"
Preacher
"♪ You and me, we could have had it all ♪"
Preacher
"♪ I guess I should have seen the writing on the wall ♪"
Preacher
"♪ You love the city life and partying till dawn ♪"
Preacher
"- [Grunts] - Oh, no, no."
Preacher
"♪ You said that dinner and a movie made you yawn ♪"
Preacher
"Aah! Oh, no, no, no, no. No, no, no."
Preacher
"♪ First I let it go ♪"
Preacher
"♪ Just thinking you and me'd be fine ♪"
Preacher
"♪ Then I lost the smile I had in my glass of wine ♪"
Preacher
"♪ Wasn't all that long ago I was your cup of tea ♪"
Preacher
"♪ Until you added sugar, and it didn't come from me ♪"
Preacher
"[Groans]"
Preacher
"♪ ♪"
Preacher
"♪ We could have had it all ♪"
Preacher
"How did you wankers find me, then?"
Preacher
"Go to hell, abomination."
Preacher
"When will you idiots learn, huh?"
Preacher
"Aah!"
Preacher
"[Snarling]"
Preacher
"[Grunts]"
Preacher
"♪ ♪"
Preacher
"Whoo!"
Preacher
"[Alarm beeping]"
Preacher
"Oh."
Preacher
"[Alarm continues]"
Preacher
"[Grunts]"
Preacher
"[Groans]"
Preacher
"Whew."
Preacher
"Jesus Christ!"
Preacher
"♪ ♪"
Preacher
"Whoo!"
Preacher
"I mean, I'm not responsible for the fact"
Preacher
"that it was a difficult birth."
Preacher
"I mean, I just had to come out of that thing, you know?"
Preacher
"I-I... Like, it's the same old story."
Preacher
"It's always my fault,"
Preacher
"like I'm making her wear a colostomy bag."
Preacher
"Oh, my God. I'm trying to eat here."
Preacher
"Be honest with her, Ted."
Preacher
"Open your heart,"
Preacher
"tell her everything you're tellin' me."
Preacher
"Okay. I'll try that."
Preacher
"But I will call you later."
Preacher
"Okay. Great."
Preacher
"So, I just seated two eight tops."
Preacher
"I got eyes, Gary."
Preacher
"I'm just finishin' up."
Preacher
"Okay?"
Preacher
"Walter called in sick. Again."
Preacher
"Maybe I should go check on him."
Preacher
"It's kind of your job, ain't it?"
Preacher
"[Laughs]"
Preacher
"Look at this church!"
Preacher
"Look at this."
Preacher
"A Starbucks in the lobby?"
Preacher
"Since when did people require Frappuccinos to come to church?"
Preacher
"How are our collection numbers?"
Preacher
"You know, good."
Preacher
"- Same as last week. - Mm."
Preacher
"Maybe a little less."
Preacher
"Mayor. Preacher. Emily."
Preacher
"Some meetin', huh? [Chuckles]"
Preacher
"Yeah, next time, I'm gonna bring my brass knuckles."
Preacher
"[Giggles]"
Preacher
"No, I'm... I'm... I'm jokin'."
Preacher
"I don't... I don't... I don't have any. Yeah."
Preacher
"But, no, I-I think that kind of discourse is healthy."
Preacher
"You know, it gets everyone..."
Preacher
"We're workin', Miles."
Preacher
"No, yeah. Good."
Preacher
"Yeah. Get to it."
Preacher
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