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Clips from The Goldbergs - O Captain! My Captain! (S04E04)

"ADULT ADAM: Ah, the teachers of our youth."
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"And when those great teachers got sick,"
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"my mom stepped in to be a sub."
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"Bonjour, my little French fries."
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"By the time I'm done with you, you're going to be eating snails,"
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"not taking baths, and enjoying"
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"the silent art of mime. (LAUGHS)"
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"ADULT ADAM: Like most substitute teachers, she didn't know very much."
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"They're a weird people, hmm?"
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"ADULT ADAM: Then one day, everything changed."
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"My mom saw the movie Dead Poets Society."
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"O Captain! My Captain!"
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"YOUNG MAN: O Captain! My Captain!"
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"ADULT ADAM: When Robin Williams inspired those stuffy rich kids"
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"to stand on their desks,"
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"my mom saw her true calling."
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"Who knew Mork from Ork had such a serious side?"
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"This movie proves that a sub"
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"is the most important person in a child's life."
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"Come Monday, that's just what I'm gonna do."
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"Inspire my kids."
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"You mean, your students or your actual kids?"
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"Both. It's a win-win."
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"I'm sure they'll see it that way."
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"- MAN: Hey, shut up. - You shut up!"
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"Good morning, class."
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"Uh, before we get started, does anyone need to make?"
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"Hmm? Anyone?"
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"There's gonna be a lot of learning today,"
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"so if you got to make, do it now."
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"Anyone got to make poo-poos?"
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"- Stop! No one has to make! - Moving on."
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"All right, according to this memo from Principal Ball,"
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"Mr. Gluckman has been checked into a rehab facility"
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"to address his relationship with cocaine."
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""Please tell the students he has the flu.""
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"Okay. Mr. Gluckman has the flu."
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"(CHUCKLES)"
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"I'll be your sub for the next 30 days."
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"- Sweet! - A sub!"
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"We get to waste a whole month of critical learning"
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"that'll put us behind for years to come!"
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"No, JTP! History has proven"
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"my mom turns awesome things to garbage!"
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"Aw, who's that handsome fella? Is he single?"
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"- This is a nightmare. - Question."
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"Who here is familiar with the film Dead Poets Society?"
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"Chill, dude. Your mom's gonna show us a movie."
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"It's a classic sub move."
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"Oh, we're not watching it. We're living it."
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"- Oh, no. - Barry's right."
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"In fact, I need a volunteer chosen completely at random"
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"to come stand on my desk"
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"and view the world from a new perspective."
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"- Oh, no! - She wants us to learn"
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"by standing on furniture?"
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"ADULT ADAM: Standing on a desk was how Robin Williams inspired his students."
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"Unfortunately, not everyone liked to see things"
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"from a different angle."
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"Whoa! Whoa!"
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"There's no climbing in school!"
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"Unless it's on a rope"
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"hung dangerously from the rafters of the gymnasium."
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"Dude, the hot sub told us to do it."
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"Are you crazy? What do you think you're doing?"
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"(LAUGHING) Ho! Look, everyone."
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"It's the stuffy administration coming to clip my wings."
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"No! For the past 30 years,"
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"Mr. Gluckman has sloshed corrosive chemicals"
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"all over that old desk."
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"- It's falling apart. - I fear nothing."
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"Like any great teacher, I encourage my students"
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"- to seize the day! - (CREAKING)"
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"Aah!"
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"(SINGING) I'm twisted up inside"
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"But nonetheless I feel the need to say"
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"I don't know the future"
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"But the past keeps getting clearer every day"
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"ADULT ADAM: It was January 4, 1980-something."
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"The day a single text message rocked my world."
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"Yo. Get this note to Goldnerd for me."
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"ADULT ADAM: Yep, back in the '80s,"
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"this was our version of sending a text."
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"You'd have to pass a note the old-fashioned way, by hand."
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"Only problem was, your messages weren't password-protected."
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"Mr. Goldberg, since that little paper"
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"is more important than life-saving CPR,"
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"maybe you'd like to stand and share it with the rest of us."
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""Balls.""
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"To be clear, I did not write this."
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""Dude, when did Emmy Mirsky get so dang foxy?"
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"- "I mean, holy boobs, Batman! - (SCATTERED LAUGHTER)"
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""Look at those sweatshirt puppies.""
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"Again, I did not write this."
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"Oh, that sucked."
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"My intention was to teach you a lesson about note-passing,"
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"but instead, I just made us all feel wildly uncomfortable."
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"(CHUCKLES) Let's just move on to Chapter 6, okay?"
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""Female reproductive..." Nope. Class dismissed."
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"Next time you get caught with a note,"
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"just do what a normal person does and eat it."
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"Dude, you can't eat paper. My mom says it plugs up your bottom."
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"Small price to pay to avoid total humiliation."
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"I know, right?"
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"I had to stand up in front of everyone"
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"and talk about my best friend's, you know, stuff."
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"Wait. You thought that note was embarrassing for you?"
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"Well, who else would it embarrass?"
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"- Me! - Why? The note said you were hot."
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"You should be happy about it."
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"Are you serious right now?"
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"Dork!"
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"Boy, you really know your way"
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"around relationships with human beings."
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"I agree I'm flawed,"
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"but I honestly have no idea what I said wrong here."
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"Okay, I'm gonna shed some light"
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"on what it's like to be a freshman girl,"
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"and it ain't gonna be pretty."
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"The seniors called me "Frizzica Spazzberg.""
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