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Clips from Teenage Bounty Hunters - Our Ham Is Good (S01E01)

"Hey!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Um..."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Okay, so I know not showing up last night was wrong."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Very, super wrong."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"And bad."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"And I feel bad for the bad"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-and the wrong. -Uh-huh."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I had no idea how complicated planning a scavenger hunt could be."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"And then April wanted the clues to rhyme"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and the playlist for the lock-in was truly a struggle."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I mean, I know that "Don't Stop Believin'" is a classic,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"but it's about a girl taking a train at midnight going anywhere."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Is that the kind of behavior we want to promote?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I mean, there is such a thing--"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Hey!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"You never came."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"You knew I had a date with Miles."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Shoot. Did you miss your date?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"We're broken up, Sterling."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I ran back and forth like a duck in a shooting game."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"And guess what? I got shot."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Head clean off."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Oh, Blair--"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"And as if the night wasn't enough of a living nightmare,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I come home and I see this."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-[gasps] What the-- -You told me to slap you"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"if you kept going on about Mom,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"but I'm not prepared to get physical because I'm feeling wrong and bad."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Sterling... she is lying."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"This is symbolic."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Ow! -I'm following orders, okay? Your orders."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"And I don't want to,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"but I will soap-opera slap you if I need to."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Your obsessed! It's unhealthy!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I'll show you unhealthy!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[both scream and groan]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Get off my hair!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Ouch! Sterling, get off of me! You never win these fights."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[both scream and groan]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"You know how this ends!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Blair! -Give me your arm!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Blair, I'm kicking your butt! -Give me your arm!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-There it is! -Give me your other arm!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Look at this!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-No! -This is Mom in Savannah"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"when she was a teenager."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I'm closing my eyes! I can't see!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Don't make me pry your eyelids open"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"because you know that I will do it."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-You see that sign? Hobo's Ham? -[groans]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Not a good name for a restaurant."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"It's like you're eating a homeless person's pork."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Pork that he probably had to fight off other hobos to get,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"the way seagulls do."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Well, they never franchised"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"because there's only one in the state"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and it's in a town called..."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Nandina."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[groans] Blair. I'm losing feeling in my hands."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"If I let you up, will you promise to listen to me and not slap me?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I mean, considering you ruined my entire life,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I think you need to hear me out."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Fine, yes. I swear! -[grunts]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Okay. Listen."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I looked through all the photo albums"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and there is not one picture of Mom before college"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"except from that box that she gave us."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"So then I Googled, "Debbie Culpepper, Georgia.""
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Oh, look, there's Mom's old manifesto for the PTA coup."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
""Why Wallis Williams is unfit to lead.”"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Mom was Miss Teen Georgia Peach, right? -Mm."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"There's nothing about that here."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"It's like everything that happened before 1999 in her life"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"has been completely scrubbed."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Maybe it was that Y2K thing we learned about"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"where old people freaked"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"because they thought computers were going to eat them."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I know I'm right,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-and after school I'm going to Grandina-- -Nandina."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Shut up!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I'm going there, so find your own ride home after school."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"What if I go with you?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-How would I know you'd show up? -We could go right now."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Like, now now?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Yeah, like, skip school and hit the road."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Miss Perfect is suggesting we skip school."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Well, if you want to go, then I want to be there for you."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Fine, but I'm driving..."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-and I'm still mad at you. -Noted."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[theme music]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[vocalizing]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-I'm not gonna be at school today. -[April] Are you sick?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Tell me your symptoms."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I carry Oscillococcinum and Zinc in my bag,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"but do I need to Postmate some antihistamines?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I can't get sick."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I'm not sick. I'm skipping."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"But only slackers headed for City College skip."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"What's going on?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Did you tell Blair about us? Did she flip out?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Are you on a Greyhound heading west to start a new life?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I haven't told her yet."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I want to take the day with her,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"give her the space to absorb it."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Miles broke up with her and she's going through some stuff."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Miles?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"You know Miles. He parks cars at the club."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"You've seen him."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Oh, right, the tall black guy?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Don't say that. -Why not?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"He's tall and he's black."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Ezequiel calls you "the white girl with the eyes.""
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[approaching footsteps."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Will you wipe and move it out already?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I'll call you later."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I miss your lips."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I miss your lips."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I miss your hair."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I miss your smell."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[April kisses over phone]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
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